Friday, November 28, 2008

Of newborn babies and prep for Bao X

Welcome to Baby Le Xuan

My cousin delivered her daughter yesterday! I am full of envy when I saw the baby pics on Facebook, so chubby and cute and impossibly SWEET!!! Congrats to Nancy and family with the addition of a really beautiful looking baby! And I don’t say that for all babies k, so it is a BIG compliment... (most babies need time to blossom anyway..but all babies smell so wonderful, I miss that smell… haha!)

I love my boys, and I think parenting boys may be easier, less of worries at some life stage perhaps, but I will dearly love a daughter.

However, during bouts of sour grape times like this, I will recall how En (and I am sure Xuan will be like that too) is impossibly sweet and sensitive now, and remind myself that not only baby gals are capable of that and I am contented.

Yesterday, suddenly in the middle of his Scrabble after my dinner, En went to the kitchen and told my helper he needed the step up ladder.. turned out he was trying to reach the basket of fruits on the table to help choose an apple for me. He never forgets this routine, something that I don’t even expect from him, but he seems to have observed that I have a fruit after dinner, and one day after I allowed him to choose an apple for me, he has taken it upon himself to do it for me since. Unfailingly.

And I am touched. I wonder if I have ever been so sweet to my mum when I was young, must remember to ask my mum!

Second Hand Goodies

I am addicted to online shopping. I have purchased lots of things online during the past weeks from fellow mummies/ sprees in a motherhood forum, all in very good condition and with significant discounts:

  • New Boys pants and tops for CNY
  • Lightly used Bjorn Baby carrier (anticipating that China will not be very pram friendly) – it looks almost new and I am happy as I got a fantastic discount
  • Lightly used Ameda dual pump
  • Brand new valves and bellows for Ameda pump for hygiene reasons
  • Almost new Avent manual pump – you can tell I am serious abt breastfeeding given that I do not need to return to stressful work! And mainly cuz I anticipate I can’t lug the dual pump around in China if I am out – dun ask me why I don’t latch cuz I find that in general, it is hard to latch boys who are more impatient.. so I practice pumping to feed
  • Brand new nursing bras
  • Desitin Creamy and First Teeth toothpaste
  • More baby clothes as present for friends
  • Tickets to great seats “The very hungry caterpillar and other stories

I am happy with my great finds, and all done in the comfort of my bed! No jostling, no long queues, no hassle!

Many of our baby items are hand me downs anyway, not because I stinge on the kids but I find we can find v good bargains and great condition stuff if we look carefully and patiently online And all these stuff are kinda premium stuff that I buy at a fraction of the original price. Way before this, hubby and I scouted for bargains and second hand items from BabyTown which used to sell second hand items but they have stopped that some time back. So I move online instead.

As Bao X is our 3rd, he already has a lot of hand me downs, and as I am pretty sure we are not gonna have another baby, I feel bad spending money on brand new stuff (and now recession right, so must save $$$ right?!). For like 3 yrs now, we wanted to pass on our brand new baby items to our friends but none of them have kids, so I end up keeping them, or passing them to NJ’s cousins or my cousins who are more prolific.

Of course, some items need to be new, like his bed set and bed sheets, mattress protector etc, and I have also bought him some new clothes, PJs and wraps, but a lot of the “hardware” items, I feel the second hand items function pretty well. After all, many baby items are very stage specific and babies outgrow them very fast, so it is really not necessary to buy new ones. E.g. the rocker, bumbo seat, even the sling as they have a limited lifespan. For items that are more essential and used longer, like sterilizer, pram, cot, baby monitor etc, then we invest in new ones to ensure durability.

For Baby En and Xuan, we have already invested in various new hardware items that last us well through the years, e.g. the pram system, the baby monitor, the exersaucer, the cot, the playpens.. and we are still using all these items till today, which will be passed on to Baby X.

Planning for Bao X’s arrival

I bought Gina Ford’s “The contented Baby book” to get acquainted with the initial months of babyhood again and to learn how to prep for baby’s arrival.

I seriously cannot recall what kind of things we prepare etc, and felt a bit insecure. Upon reading the book, it is all coming back to me, the setting up of nursery, the time table for feeds, the breast feeding etc.

And I realize without actually knowing it, when Hubby and I first have En and Xuan, we are, or I am, quite Gina Ford in our own way.

E.g. Many of the items we deemed essential, such as the Baby monitor, the nigh light for feeding etc to us are listed as essential in the book..

I also believe in spending the initial time with baby, without the stress of social obligations, i.e. limit the visits from relatives etc etc, so that we can focus on feeding the baby and knowing the baby. I believe in not being disturbed at the hospital so I can rest and also feed baby regularly.

Waking up the baby to ensure baby drinks on time and hence, not wake up erratically at night was also what we practice instinctively, and it is what GF strongly recommended to have a flexible routine that is catered to baby’s needs as well as ensuring sanity of the parents.

So now that it is all coming back to me, I feel a bit more confident.. And with cousin delivering Le Xuan, I am looking forward to arrival of Bao X! (seriously - the last trimester is very trying lor.. )

But Bao X, don't come too early OK - some weeks into Jan will be the perfect time, no sooner than that ok!

I still need time to sort out the nursery!!!


Sunday, November 23, 2008

Of Caterpillar, Fish and Sparrows

Candid Shots.. of the 2 little boys and updates of them..




















The Very Hungry Caterpillar


Some of my friends without kids are appalled at En's Eric Carle books, when they realise that each copy costs like 15 bucks or more, when they saw the price tag on one of En's books during dinner one day.

Well, we do not really understand the appeal of Eric Carle as well, though we feel that the books are always beautifully illustrated. I think that is supposed to spark the imagination in little kids, with the vibrant colours and the creative painting style.

And also, the repetitive lines used in the story help to reinforce the message and kids love to say the lines again and again for each story. At least En never gets tired of repeating "Hey you, want to fight?"

So when we heard that Act 3 is presenting the puppet play, "The Very Hungry Caterpillar and other stories", I had wanted to get tickets. I thought that En would enjoy it. But when I was going thru the tickets available, all the good seats were taken. And coupled with my erratic schedule, not knowing when I will have to run groups or work late, I gave up.

However, these days i am an addict of online shopping and also reading the various online forum threads, and it so turned out that a fellow mum was letting go of 2 seats last Friday for a good price and the seats were fantastic.

So I bought the tickets from her (and I bought a whole lot of baby prep stuff online as well, but on that next time), and brought en to the play.

He was thoroughly fascinated and really engaged in the play, even though he has never read any of the presented stories. It was a play in which children were allowed to "participate" in the sense that they did not have to be quiet and were free to say and narrate the stories as they unfolded.

So whenever a puppet character came on stage, En will, along with the other kids, exclaimed the name of the object, enthusiastically.

That was not the most surprising, after all, even I, find the entire production of the play really well executed and the puppets very professionally and well made. And I have brought en to a couple of his school plays where I have observed that he tends to be quite well engaged with stage plays (provided they are not scary)..

What surprised me was the following incident during the play..
A girl in front got a tad restless and was standing up midway through the show.
En was frustrated that he can't see some of the actions, (by this time, we have already swopped seats as the adult in front of En's original seat kept moving left and right to tend to the restless girl, so i swopped seats with En so that he will be seated behind the girl who is shorter..)

So when the girl stood up and blocked him again, a frustrated En said the following in a stern, matter of fact voice:
"I cannot see! Sit down!" :-o

The girl sat down after that, but not without her grandma and her turning around to look at the source of the voice. I dunno what to say so I let it be. Did not feel compelled to apologise..
But at the same time wondering about my son.
The usual shy and afraid of strangers En does have a "bite" in him.. hm... another facet which I do not usually see..

Wats happening on weekend?

I have been trying to train my helper not to resort to tele-sit my kids. i.e. there are lot of things that they can do when at home.

And for the past week, En brought home 2 pieces of "shredded" art.. think he really enjoyed doing that and we have proudly pasted that on the "wall of art".

So yesterday, with all the glossy shopping brochures sent to our house, I got the 2 boys to do their own shredded art.. and some peace time for us all as each of them was engrossed in the shredding and pasting.

And these days, they are playing a lot with each other, albeit in a very noisy manner by running around the house and laughing loudly together. I can't figure out what they are playing, but well, it is very nice to see them bond with lots of laughter with each other.

Sometimes, they are also capable of playing together without erupting into fights and tears.
En has also been showing that he is capable of giving in to Xuan or creatively offering options whenever he wants something that Xuan Xuan has.

My problem now is that Xuan does not give in or collaborate. And I am trying hard, even though I know his age and language grasp may be hindering that for now.. Still I do need to try and work around Xuan's really stubborn nature..

Of fish and sparrows

Today, despite the little fatigue, I felt I need to bring the boys out.. so that they are not always cooped at home since Papa left, and I also can do with a bit of more nature and fresh air..

So we all went to the Botanic gardens to feed fishes..

The 2 boys as usual are really enthusiastic.. and En attracted a lot of sparrows to come and eat his bread too.. We all managed to come home before the thunderstorm hits.. So I am feeling very "accomplished". The boys were exhausted from their outing, and Xuan started clamoring for his milk and pacifier at 730 pm. He is one real sleepyhead. And as usual, I love taking pics of them at the gardens.. i believe that is where they should be more often!!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Birthday and Halloween - Back dated


Almost a month has passed, and En is still waking up in the middle of the night, wailing sometimes. The aftermath of Halloween is apparently still "haunting" him.

It was probably one of the most scary night for him. Poor thing.

The Birthday
It started off rather well, with him enjoying himself with his "friends" - Godma, Nanny and family, his cousins, aunt and generally a family affair.

As usual, we never have a proper family shot during such occasion. It has been 3 years, but we never managed to "pose" for a proper family pic. I am immensely frustrated sometimes and I wonder why.


Maybe it is because it is always such a mayhem, with kids excited about the candles and the cake, and can't wait to dig into the cake. Maybe we are also not the "posey" type, a bit shy to pose for pics in front of so many ppl.. and a tad rude for others to wait just for the pic..

Sigh, still some great shots from the various sources, at least we have one proper shot of the cake - En's favourite Bob the builder cake.

En and his happy frens - cousin and brother














The 3 strippy boys in my life - not planned for sure!
















Xuan clearly enjoyed the party the most. Most eagerly awaiting for the cake, taking multiple stabs at the cake with his fork. It was really hard to keep him away from the cake as we served the guests first!

Check out his eager expression!



















And his state of intoxication. i do not know who passed him this first drink.



















The Halloween


This is our last Halloween in College Green, with what few of the tenants left. However we are determined to make it memorable for the kids nonetheless. And old tenants also came back to set up make shift scary stations, finishing with a wild water bomb session typical of the estate..

True to the birthday theme, we dressed En up as Bob the builder and Xuan as the adorable pumpkin. We wanted a knight costume for Xuan but the remaning ones at Toy R Us are not very hygenic with some rusted parts.. So pumpkin he is, and a very adprable on at that.

En got really scared with the Tick-or- Treating, and was crying non stop .. Xuan however was cool as a cucumber, and even went up the various wandering spirits and monsters, curiously looking them over. maybe the idea of fear has not seethed itself in his cognition yet, but En was clearly aware of that!

Check out the pics..
Bob and the Pumpkin














The monster mum..



















Our scary guest to dispense the tr
eats!



















The water ammunition for adults and kids Mayhem all around..

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Sweetness and Toughness

The rain is mood dampening...

But at home, the 2 kids are sunny as ever, chasing each other screaming around the house.. The 2 boys started to play with each other more now, while that is a good sign, it also meant that we have to put up with a lot more noise and screams. They like to chase each other around the house, not sure who is chasing or running away, but the 2 of them are running about the house quite a lot.

Xuan has been having some bouts of tantrums recently, aggravated probably with his molar teething, but I really think he needs to speak soon. But this little boy really has one strong will, compared to En who will quiet down generally when we put him on the "naughty seat", Xuan has the tenacity to keep screaming and the stubbornness to keep crying and wailing for an hour or so. Even when he is clearly exhausted, or when he probably have forgotten what got him walking in the first place, he will stop for breathe, then continue his banshee act.

Lucky, Mummy is equally stubborn, and I refuse to give in. It is a way of disciplining and he has to learn to quiet down. My greatest nightmare is about managing a wailing kid in the mall, and I think Xuan has that potential if he is not curbed from young.

Most of the times, he is the most easy and amicable and cheerful baby. But in those tantrum times, they are quite explosive. I am still learning how to manage.. he does not really listen during these meltdowns, I wonder if there are any other ways besides letting him scream it out.. Hmm.. Even if I acknowledge his anger and frustration, he does not seem to feel better.. sigh.

Well, I think Xuan currently is developing all his physical skills rather well, I do hope he starts to speak soon, that will perhaps make it easier for him to communicate and express. He recently learnt to drink from a straw, another little milestone for the little boy.

On the other hand, En has been a real sweetie pie these days.
These days, when I go to the toilets, he will want to come along.
When I asked him why, he said “Later you fall down, so I help you ok?”
He still remembers that I fell in the toilet some weeks back, he never fails to amaze me sometimes.

And after dinner everyday, he will choose a fruit for me . The other evening, when we were sharing the apple he picked, he suddenly touched my tummy and asked “Baby like apple too?” I wonder how he will feel about the baby brother when he sees the baby finally

En is also into quiet play when Xuan is asleep (Xuan sleeps 1 hr earlier than him) and 2 of us will do either of the following for about an hour:

  • Use the Magnetic shapes to make up the shape of different animals
  • Toddler Scrabble where he will sing his phonic songs as he identify the alphabets and learn the spelling of simple words lile CAT/ PIG etc.
  • Piece the wooden jigsaw of the alphabet numbers, from A-Z or 1- 10.

I feel bad sometimes that I do not seem to spend as much time developing Xuan, mainly cuz Xuan loves to sleep and eat and hence, his bedtime is much earlier. And also when we try to engage him with books, or other toys such a bricks, cooking set etc, he is always more interested in cars, so we have been indulging him and his Thomas-es, trains, railway lines which leave less room for any “education” play.

Each to his own, I believe, eventually Xuan will catch on, and I do need to figure out how to make his night time reading more regular and engaging for Xuan.

Then again, not all babies like to read, so well let’s see..

Mummies with kids who are as car obsessed like Xuan, let me know if you have tips on how to engage him more in quiet play/ other toys!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

The First Time En Stood Up for Me

I want to note this down today - The day history was made with Obama elected as the President in the US (Woohooo!!) , and the day En stood up for me.

For the First time.

I was reminded of the book 'For One More Day" by Mitch Albom and how I was touched by the protagonist's regrets over the times that he did not stand up for his mum, versus the number of times his mother stood up for him.

And knowingly or not, today, little En En stood up for me.

My mum related this short incident to me, which took place over today's dinner, which so melted my heart.

En apparently has been feeding himself since the new helper Pui Pui came. Today over dinner, as Pui Pui sat down for her dinner and started scooping the green vegtables onto her plate, En said the following to her:
"Do not take so much vegetables. Must keep for mummy. Cuz mummy has baby."

Everyone was taken aback - Nai Nai, Po Po and Pui Pui.

And i am very touched.
By this first time my son "stood up" for me.
It is a little gesture.
But it shows us the depth of his big heart.
Not only for mummy, but for baby brother - something that I am still not sure whether he has strong cognition of yet.

And today I also know that I have a place in his heart.
A space signnificant enough for him to think of my interests and speak up for me.
Especially from this little boy whom I always thought adores Papa more than me.

It is a small gesture.
It is even a rather impolite gesture.
But it made my day.
Making me smile while wanting to weep.
And in such times when I sometimes feel alone, and in need of pampering.

Thank you En En. Not only because you stood up for me, but because with all these little episodes, you have made me enjoy these little precious moments of motherhood.

You have made my experience of motherhood a journey full of little surprises and grand amazements; it is a wonderful journey because you are with me.
For this, I Thank you.

Followers