Friday, August 21, 2009

About Learning..

Some of the things that I am concerned about revolve around the kids - their Growth and Meals; Stimulation and Learning, Morals and Ethics.. For now, these are key areas that occupy my thoughts often.

The tods, En and Xuan are in the school here. I often wonder what they learn in schol, and wonder whether they will lag in their phonics and maths and have to do catch up when they return to SG. However, I am also convinced that the boys are learning different things now, some more desirable - such as adaptability, Chinese language, and being more street wise to a certain extent. Other less desirable traits include the more active/ violent gun play (from the pervasive military culture here in China and imitated and aspired towards by kids in school), the guggling, or even the spitting..

One thing that we managed to implement is to "Use the ears" rather than " Use the eyes" moments. I have been trying to undo the TV addict habits of the tods, and now manage to do music time rather than Tv time during meals. While I do think it is OK for some amount of TV, but I think the boys have exceeded the healthy amounts of TV since papa is always on the computer showing them all sorts of Youtube clips. I really frown on that - just cuz papa adores silly contents on Youtube does not mean those clips are suitable for the kids.

Therefore, we have tried exposing the kids to different music genres instead, from classical, to Disney movie's theme songs (the kids love the songs from Lion King), and surprisingly, when I bought the Korean OST for Boys Over Flowers, the boys love it. En and Xuan will sing "Almost paradise" when the song comes on and En will say that he like various songs from the OST.

Hence, we also started playing Oldies for the kids as well, such as "Only you", "Moon River", "Smoke gets in your eyes".. Rather unorthodox I guess, but I did read somewhere that exposing the kids to different music genre from young is good. In any case, En has a v rhythmic body and will move his body according to the beat for songs he like. Well, according to NJ, today's pop will become tomorrow's oldies/ classic :)

In addition, En has become very interested in animals and have started asking us to read to him about the animals. It started with a Chinese encyclopedia that he picked up at the bookstore and since then, he has been reading facts about animals before he goes to bed. So when we were on the topic of dragonflies, I googled for the song 红蜻蜓 by 小虎队 and he was really amused. From the same website, we also found out that they have another song 蝴蝶飞呀 and we listened to that as well and read up on the butterflies as the next topic. Come to think of it, 小虎队 has some really nice inspiring songs much as they are from the bygone era!

Well, the problem with reading Chinese encyclopedia for me is I do now know many of the nouns that are used - e.g. the specific variants of various animals species (dinosaurs, whales, sharks etc). En wants us to translate it while reading, so that is a chore too. Hence, on the recent trip, I bought him an imported English encyclopedia instead and it is a joy reading it t both En and Xuan.


One of En's favourite activity here (besides drawing, and he can draw pretty well, one day i ought to do an online art exhibition for the boy here..), is to play with his Logico. We were first introduced to to it by Nj's fellow Singaporean friend here whose wife is a Primary school teacher. I saw it at the bookshop before and had thought that En will be interested, Little did I know that it was actually a German system of developing kids' brain with the various activities sheets and that it costs half the price cheaper in China (probably due to lower cost of production etc). The only drawback in buying it in China is that the worksheets are in Mandarin. However, as NJ's fren said, and we observed, over time, En actually know the "system" and will be able to do on his own sometimes, without us always having to give him too much instruction. It is a good way to keep En occupied when we go out for dinners, as he will always want to bring his Logico along.


The Nikulin Circus was in town last weekend, and we brought the kids to the matinee show. It was an experience for the kids, En loved the tiger show, which was the highlight of the show, while Xuan was captivated by the acrobats flying and falling (yes, falling. Not sure why, the acrobats actually fell and it was rather heart stopping to watch, even though there is the catchment net below). Later, when I asked Xuan which part of the circus did he like best, he replied "the flying one". I was surprisingly impressed by the juggler, it was a highly energetic performance by a single juggler, and the skill and the rhythm of the segment enchanted me. I was much saddened by the performances of the bears though, as it seem v sad for a large bear to be looped and then asked to perform all the various dances etc.


A packed matinee on a Saturday. The boys in their seats!


Xuan learning to use the binoculars (it only cost SGD 2!)
After the circus...

Why the bears, and not the tigers etc? Check out the bear doing the hoola hoop here..



Well, I can see from the tigers that they have the ability to rebel, as seen in the various tigers refusing to sit on more than one occasion and the performers have to "threaten" them with a long rod. I feel that the tigers held the power in the relationship with humans, at least more so than the bears. the bears seemed really helpless. One of the bears kept moving left and right, and left and right, and Nj told me that that is a sign of potential madness/ an expression of stress. I feel very much saddened by the whole performance after that. Of course there are other animals, but e.g the dogs and the horses, their performances are in line with what they typically do anyway, e.g. horses carrying the riders who performed various stunts on the horsebacks, while the dogs run through obstacles etc which is much like a game to them. Hence, in my view, the bears probably got the worst deal. it is my first circus, I doubt I would ever go to another one, frankly. My heart feels bad. The kids love it though.. so as an experience for the kids, it has its value.

Rui is now learning to crawl, and eat biscuit on his own. Check him out on his first biscuit!



He is one tough kid.. It is quite heart stopping to see him try to get on his knees, but it is a real experience for me. In the past, as a working mum, I hardly get much of the first moments. Now that I stay at home with the boys, I do see so much of their different aspects, it is a very enriching experience. There is really nothing compared to watching them grow.. and well, in Rui's case, learning to crawl, sit up, balance etc..



So while the boys learn, so do I. Leanr to cook and plan nutritious meals for them..

Xuan enjoying his watermelon, strawberry shake


The "vege-saur" Dip Dip party

In addition to the variety of purees that I have been making for Rui, we started him on Chicken, and I use Annabel Karmel's recipes and they are yummy, even for adults. While browsing for recipes, I also came across the tods' recipes for dips. So I started making tomato puree from scratch, and the Summer Picnic Dip is fantastic (try the Chicken on the Griddle is yummy and healthy too!). The boys love it and we had a vegetable party for their lunch snack after they came home from school. It was a good way to get Xuan to eat his veges, as he love to "dip dip: :)

Staying with the boys for bulk of the time, is also a constant learning journey for me. Learning about their likes and dislikes, their individual character differences, and how to read their emotions and needs. The last has to be the toughest I guess. Although En has learnt to articulate his emotions, e.g. I am sad/ I am scared etc, but most of the times, his emotions will overwhelm him which lead to the whining, cryings and wailings.
Xuan needs to be managed carefully and if his needs are met, many a times, we can prevent a tantrum eruption. I read from a forum that some kids do not have the ability to calm themselves down after tantrums as there is some hormones that are missing. And these kids tend to be hyper-active and intense. As such, it is recommended that such kids should be engaged in more active activities to build up that specific hormone which is needed when the kid is in tantrum, for them to be able to calm down. I thought that seems to fit Xuan well.

Since we moved here, he has been missing his quota of outdoor play, and when in College Green, he has always been able to sooth himself by crying in front of his book shelf, but here, somehow his tantrums just seemed very out of control. And he did behave much better when he started school here and we do a daily outdoor play in the estate. So the various active activities may indeed help to give him some form of self control.

More importantly, I think trust helps. Over time, I think Xuan has learnt to trust me and we have arrived at an understanding for some tasks without having to wrestle and fight.

As the time for home going approaches, I do feel time slipping away. I will so miss all this when I go back to work I guess. I guess we always want what we did not have, when I first started out on this journey, I really dreaded the endless noise at home etc etc.. Now guess I will soon miss it!

Sunday, August 09, 2009

National Day in Beijing..

Today is National Day.. and we did various stuff to feel the National Day spirit here in Beijing..

First, we went in search of Singaporean foods! NJ and I went to check out the Nonya Restaurant while the boys nap. Feel like having some local food.. Been missing the spicy SG food quite a bit. And while I was enjoying my Laksa, while Nj had Nasi lemark, we wondered if we should join the other singaporeans in the National Day celebration. There are various events, and eventually hubby decided that we will join his friends at the Singapore Embassy which is broadcasting the National Day Parade live.



We figured the boys will be excited and boy they were!! Check out the pics and the videos!


Live broadcast at the Singapore embassy
Captivated by the soldiers, planes, choppers and fireworks!!


Marching Boys..



Yummy Hainanese Chicken rice for the boys.. Yum! That is the one of the few non spicy dishes served!


Holding the boys up high for the Grand Finale photoshoot for CNA..


Enthusiastic cheerleader..

And I feel that when one lives overseas, one do feel more emotionally for one's nation. It could be pride, or nostalgia.. Whatever it is, it makes one feel very much Singaporean. I mean, while we were in singapore, we probably never really think or feel very much about being Singaporeans. However, when away, I do miss Singapore quite a lot.. from the tangibles to the intangibles. Well, before I depart, I will summarise what I really miss about Singapore and what I will miss about Beijing in another entry..

In any case, I remarked to Hubby that perhaps, nations which have a siginificant population diaspora may have a greater sense of national pride, as their overseas citizens seek the emotional connection with their nations. Something not unlike the old adage "Absence makes the heart fonder". Perhaps distance magnifies the good stuff, and diminishes the bad stuff? Well, i sure had a great time at the Singapore Embassy, as did the boys! And i do miss home much when I look at the live broadcast with all the rest of the Singaporeans and enjoying the Singapore cuisine provided!!

The boys sure enjoy the soldiers marching, the planes and choppers, the fireworks and the songs and dances. I was dreading that I will have to hover over them, but surprisingly, they were entertained by the various other Singaporeans there, and not once did various people approach us for permission to take pics withe the 2 boys.. *very weird I thought..* I mean we are getting used to being stared at by the Chinese whenever we go out with the boys, either cuz we have 2 boys which is envied in the One child policy China, or we will overhear people remarking that the boys are twins - another rarity, or having them mistake Xuan or both as gals.. But I did not expect them to be poster boys amidst Singaporeans too..


One of the students taking pic with Xuan.


Boys playing with the fellow Singaporeans there..


Xuan was a natural with strangers. He has no qualms playing with the others in the crowd, or went around the hall and returning to find us in front of the large screen.. En was a tad more cautious but had a great time playing with Xuan and joining Xuan in playing with the fellow Singaporeans.. By the end of the day, the boys were exhausted but happy on the way home.


Despite the thunderous rain this afternoon, I am glad we went. It is a real experience indeed!

Monday, August 03, 2009

我不说。。。

最近, 领悟了一种情感。。

我不说 并不代表 我不懂
我不说 并不代表我不在乎
我不说 并不代表 我没感觉


因为 安静的带过 也是一种 感觉
若你没看见
那也是一种缘分

我不想说 因为你也该知道了


Recently, in many incidents, with the kids and the people around me, I find myself being more passive. Maybe I need a pause. Maybe I am really getting older..

But it is a clear departure of some of my older ways..
I was always of the stand that if we want something, or to be the agent of change, we need to be active.

Active participation, active confrontation, active assertion...
So I always state my views and my thoughts, as clearly as I can. Even if it does not get through all the time, it is a platform of communication, which leads to understanding..

But recently I realise that Passivity and Time, are agents of change too..
Time, if you allow it to do its magic, brings about changes too..
And let time play out the consequences.
Believe that Time will bring about the same realisation that you want in others..

Particularly in kids, I think this is important.
Some things just need Time to nurture and come to fruition.
Forcing the issue do not always help.

When it comes to relationships, giving time and space may also help to open up a clearer field of vision. And it is a also a test of how the different parties understand the other parties intuitively.
And if the understanding is not there, even speaking it, will not being it about.

I am beginning to understand this.
Slowly.

Ultimately, if it is not to be.. it may never be.

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