For One More Day - Part 2 on Marriage

So.. the other aspect which was really thought provoking for me was the relationship aspect from the book "For One More Day".. I find strong resonance with the following passages from the book..

"In college, I had a course in Latin, and one day the word 'divorce' came up. I always figured it came from some root word that meant 'divide'. In truth, it comes from 'divertere', which means 'to divert'."

"Here is what you are going to find out about marriage: you have to work at it together. And you have to love three things. You have to love

1) Each other
2) Your children
3) Your marriage

What I mean by that is , there may be times that you fight, and sometimes you won't even like each other. But those are the times you have to love your marriage. It's like a third party. Look at your wedding photos. Look at any memories you 've made. And if you believe in those memories, they will pull you back together."

The second passage is extracted from a letter to a son on his wedding day.
I think it is the best advice any parent can give..

I, too, always thought that the word 'divorce' stem from the roots of divide..
But to know that it stems from the root of 'to divert' makes a lot of sense to me..

I once read somewhere that relationships fall apart because of the presence of distractions - which diverts one's attention.

- when you are working too hard, you are distracted from your relationship
- when kids come on the scene, you are distracted from the love of your spouse
- when you meet someone interesting, even if you do not have the feelings, you may have been distracted in your attention to your spouse..

And I also read somewhere, that when a couple is encountered with problems, should one party chooses to divert the attention elsewhere instead of working hard at the relationship, it puts the relationship at risk..

Hence, to know that divorce stems from divert makes sense.. since a relationship starts to break down when one or two parties are diverted from the shared goal of marriage.

I happen to think that loving the marriage is really important.. There is no guarantee that you will always love your spouse, in disputes, in arguements, on the really bad days..

But the shared memories, the blissful days of courtship, the honeymoon phase of marriage, all these are easy to love and they form the building blocks of the marriage. Cumulative memories are powerful - they give us the reason to believe in something even when the moment seems contrary to the belief.

The interesting someone, the new challenges and satisfaction at job, the kids or any new distraction may seem overpowering and overwhelmingly interesting in the present, maybe even the future, but they did not have a role to play in part of your shared past.. the years that went into the relationship and marriage before this new distraction occurs.

Hence, I believe in cumulative memories. They provide me with the strength to have faith.

And at this moment, more than ever, i feel i need to believe in it more than ever.
In face of a long distance relationship for half a year to come.. it seems a long time even though I am sure time will fly. Still the uncertainty bothers me..

I can only hope and pray.. that papa is not diverted..
And I am not distracted..
We remembered why we are together in the first place..