Friday, December 28, 2007

Kiss from a Daughter

One of the chipmunks told me that he is an avid reader of my blog - accompaniment for breakfast. I m honored - well, at least what i write seems to go on well with breakfast! Since our friend cannot understand Chinese, I changed the tune to an ang moh one, in reciprocation for his "subscription" to my blog. Must be quite unbearable to hear Jay Chou yeah!
It also relates well to the current blog entry..

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One Christmas Eve, I had a revelation. And it struck me rather hard.
And it all stemmed from a kiss from daughter.

We had a great Xmas eve party at NJ's cousin's place across the estate.
The kids love the company and tonnes of toys:

En was playing with Bing Bing, and the 2 of them keep shouting Ah-Bee-Ya like a secret code between them. When they see eachother, instead of saying hello, they say Ah-Bee-Ya to each other. Dun ask me what it means.. beats me

We discovered Xuan Xuan likes HUGE vehicles. As in really big cars, with big wheels and moves. Definitely a masculine interest. We approve.

Ah kim and Wee-ku's food are great, the ham was delicious and i love the pizza from Cicada's. But the real highlight came after dinner...

From a surprise Santa Claus' visit - impersonated by NJ's cousin.
But it is a very unusual Santa, lanky, and in contemporary attire of black vest, red sweater and sunglasses! And he moves like a robot and speaks like a puppet!

It was hilarious. Then again, this is the same cousin who performs and entertains his kids with private "Ra-Ra show" where only kids can attend... I will never think a business minded man in the mid 30s to have so much humor and be so sporting. Such fatherly acts bond the kids, leaving them with precious memories that can never be erased.

Some of my fondest memories of my parents are of them playing with me, scaring me or doing really sweet things for me. And they never go away.. like insidious molecules they sipped into me and remained.

I really think NJ's cousin is quite an exemplary father, a male figure who does not only work and provide for the family, but IS the heart and soul of the family, keeping them together and creating and building memories for the kids.

That is one discovery, but what really touched me was just a simple act which happened as this modern Santa hands out the presents to all the kids and elderly family in his robotic voice and actions..

When he handed the gift to his only daughter (there are so many more boys), he demanded a kiss from his daughter. And when the daughter shyly kissed Santa on his cheek in giggles, i felt an impulse to cry and had to look away.

Cuz in that short single moment, I realise the bond between a dad and a daughter is different and sacred. Boys and mum, and Boys with Dad and Girls with mum, are different from Dad with Daughter.

My father adores me when I was young, and I know that feeling. I remembered his wet eyes as he put on my wedding veil and I was indescribably touched. I will always be daddy's girl.

And when i witness that simple kiss, i realise what NJ is missing.. esp since he has always wanted a girl. Even when we were dating, he always had a soft spot for baby girls.

The bond between father and daughter is unique.
Hence, I have been contemplating about having another girl, perhaps... or trying...
cuz having a baby girl will mean a lot for NJ I suspect...
And really complete our family picture perhaps?


Hence, I have been thinking hard..
Follow my heart?

Monday, December 24, 2007

counting the little blessings..

The journey of time is amazing..
I vividly having confinement food during Xmas last year, and now, we just celebrated Xuan's birthday a week ago and i am now blogging as the 2 boys are fast asleep, after an eventful Xmas eve party... and i am back to enjoying the christmas gatherings and parties!

Have not manage to blog much recently primarily

1. Getting ready for the festivities.. festives with kids inevitably means more work.
2. As usual, juggling with year end rush of work
3. Xuan and En were both really sick after Xuan's birthday party.. En just recovered and Xuan still have erratic fever..

But the days have been really eventful...
We lost our camera cable, so I will save Xuan Xuan's birthday bash for another day, complete with visuals..

These few days, I have been reflecting and thinking about how we need to consciously look for our little blessings..

I was with NJ and Xuan at McD at Forum a few days ago and saw an episode which got me thinking..

Leads are a lady who is obviously pregnant, her husband and her young daughter, probably slightly older than Xuan.

The man was passing money to the lady and asking her to go order food.
And the lady was loudly berating how the man never helps out and everything that he does ends up booched and she has to be the one to complete it.. especially how he never looks after their daughter properly..

And there I was with Xuan, and waiting for NJ to come back with food..
And I was thinking, this lady is pregnant, why cant the man have gone and get the food instead?

And i realise how I have taken a lot of things for granted..
I have a husband who..

1. goes to the market weekly to buy fresh food and fish for the boys..
2. allows me to sleep in while he wakes up early for the kids
3. lets me to sleep thru the nites when the kids wake up or are fussy..
4. carries my grocery bags for me (which I always thought is what men ought to do)
5. buys my meals for me, so much so I hardly know how much a Mcd meal is anymore..

and he realy tries his best to make me and the boys happy..

I always thought these gestures are "what men ought to do"..
But sometimes when i look around, i find these gestures rather exceptional as they are probably not the norm...

and yet I have kinda taken it for granted.. when one does a reality check, I realise I need to count my little blessing..

I also need to count my blessing with the kids..

You can always hear me saying how naughty and impossible my 2 boys are.. and once, En's nanny actually reminded me - if the kid can be naughty it is good, it means the kid is active and smart...

i dunno about the smart part, but it is true that I need to be thankful that I have v spirited boys who have minds of their own even at a very young age..

Recently Xuan and en's recent bout of serious flu got me thinking, that we have even always taken the boys' health for granted, and when they fall seriously ill and uncomfortable, it is really a pain seeing them suffer and cry.. That in itself is an experience...

Of course one of the most overlooked blessing is the gift of our parents..
I always complain.. I think that is my singular greatest weakness..
But no matter what, it is indeed a blessing to have both sets of parents who are together, and who are well and fit and to care for my kids so I can continue with wk.

That in itself is a blessing.. something that I often take for granted.
Sometimes, we need to really stop and take stock..

One sociologist said in his book, that people feel good when they see others in misfortune, that is the basic core of human psychology. Ugly as it may sound, it is unfortunately true sometimes, if we are brutally honest with ourselves.

We do not and should not feel good about others misfortunes, but we should always remind ourself of the realist perspective... that the greater world out there is full of misfortune and people with bigger problems with us.. Our lives may not be always smooth sailing as it is now.. so we do need to cherish the present..

Sometimes, i think being around ppl who are too similiar or better than us skew our perspective a lot. We think the world is made up of all these lucky ppl.

Look further afield, and we are more likely to find differences rather than similarities. and that in itself is reason to count our little blessings..

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

All about talking - speech from the heart..

Like I have mentioned in one of my earlier entries, how things learnt at work can sometimes be applied to kids if we think hard about it.. I recently have 2 more discoveries that I will like to share..


But before that, I need to declare what a struggle it is to be a working mum, especially a working mum whose job entail quite a bit of travelling...

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I love to travel, especially alone.. it gives me the time to think, to reflect and to explore my own interests.. and I also like the distant love thinggi.. I feel closer to NJ when I travel, cuz he is always in my thoughts and it is a time in which I treasure and appreciate him more, as it made me realise how much he is a part of my life..

Hence, i love my job, though the peak preiod which entails me to live practically outta a suitcase moving from 1 hotel to another is increasingly undesirable as the travel fatigue sets in..

But I love having travel as part of my job, it fulfills me very much..

Then I have kids.. that is when i realise I do not enjoy the travel as much as before..

In the past, every hotel room i go to is fascinating, as I imagine sharing it with Nj the next time we travel together.. but now that I have kids every hotel room is like a box keeping me away from my kids..

I am now blogging from a sinfully indulgent hotel room, but the room means nothing to me.. nothing to my soul; it is as if having kids has changed the components of my heart and soul. I am no longer intrigued by the superficial luxury of a hotel room, not when the room does not have the spirit of the kids..

This trip is especially bad, because I was sick when I had to go away, En was also sick and I had to leave him in the care of others, others when it sould have been my role. My job.

And worst, I was rushing the presentation at the conference, cleaning up my slides and the amendments etc, and I could not even bring him to the doctor. And I feel so bad. It should not be this way. As a travelling working mum - am I a bad mum? I dunno but I feel bad...

But the most amazing thing happened on this trip too.. for the first time, En had a conversation with me on the phone!

Me: hello En En, hello
En: hello mummy (prompted by papa)

Me (excited!): hello En En, how are you? I will see you on thursday when Mummy come home with an orange elephant ok? 好不好
En: 好
Me: I love you En En, can you say 我爱你?
En: 我爱你
Me: I love you so much, and I miss you! Ask papa to bring you to the airport and I will see you on Thursday ok?


.... and my heart melted. No doubt it is prompted, but En knows what I love you means, and most of the times he does not say that readily.. It was really one of THE moments - when i felt so far away, but he is so close in my heart.

It is definitely one of the most beautiful moments for me..

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Speech is one of the most powerful thing I realised. Not just cuz of the recent telephone conversation, but I have realised that many things we say can make or break a relationship.

With our kids, I think we need to pactice a lot of mindfulness, active listening and also speaking mindfully. Here are some realisations based on 2 trainings I have attended for work..


Lesson 1: Suspend your agenda and practice active listening

My job is a group facilitator. More than anything else, my job trains and requires me to read people's body language, read peoples' conscious and unconscious responses, and listen, really listen to what people say to derive the little nuggets of gold that helps or break a product or brand.

I was attending a regional conference 3 weeks back on how we can manage our work and clients. My biggest takeaway from the conference was something that can be applied to both work, but more importantly, when applied to kids and family, I think will make us great communicators with our kids and loved ones.

One core skill that we practise thru role plaing and all, when we interact with our clients is to suspend our agenda and listen to the clients more. So we understand their REAL need, and then address those needs accordingly. A lot of times, we go to meetings with our own agenda. We do not listen, or we pretend to listen, all intent on making sure we get somethig out of the meeting or making sure the meeting was fruitful by saying what we have on the agenda.

And I realise many a times, we do this with our kids too.

We want them to listen to us. We lay the rules for them. And we do not listen to them or their real need.

E.g. day out or a shopping trip. We have a whole host of errands to run, and things to do and time to keep to. All these form our agenda. And when the kids stall and do not want to go to those places we want or do as we say, we get into a conflict situation with them BECAUSE we are pushing our agenda and are not listening to them, not their needs... They are little people with needs, emotions, like us!

If we take a moment to suspend our agenda, and listen to what they really want to do..

We can really resolve the situation much better and avoid the tension or us getting angry.

And here, I want to share this great book that I am reading.. currently at the first chapter, but I feel it has already changed my life dramatically already...



it is titled "How to talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will talk" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. It is a very enjoyable book to read, with comics, with real examples and even real exercises that put us through what a kid is feeling. (i actually wanted to attend a course based on this book but schedule simply does not allow but I will definitely go for the course the next time it is organised!)


In the book, there are 4 simple ways to cope with a child's demands.. But first we need to practise suspending our agenda so that we can listen to the kids' needs carefully. And then we need to acknowledge their emotions so the kids next time know how they can cope with their emotions. Most of the time, we deny the emotions of the kids, or worst label the kids for their emotions or actions.. if you think about it, everyday it is happening..

"You are not really afraid of the cat right?
"it is ok, dun be upset over a spoilt toy, it is only a toy" ..

But to help the kid manage their feelings the book recommends the following:

1. Listen with full attention

2. Acknowledge their feelings - "Oh".."I see"

3. Give their feelings a name

4. Give them heir wishes in a fantasy

The use of the above helps to deflect an explosive situation, and also helps in preventing the kids from not being heard or listened to, or that we do not understand what they are feeling.. so that kids will continue to talk to us because we understand them. We always say our parents do not understand us when we were young, it may not be that the dun understand, but they have not SHOWN that they understood, simply with Step 2.


One of the key contributors to a breakdown in conversation is when we deny the feelings of the other person, so much so that it is pointless for the other person to talk to us anymore..

it is the same in relationship --- the wife always complains, the husband ignores or puts down her emotions, she does not feel valued nor given adequate attention, their conversation turned abusive, accusatory, sarcastic and soon everything else falls apart.

that is also how in the teenage years, we all stop talking to our parents.

1. they do not empathise with us

2. they are not interested in listening to us - or they listen to us only to turn around and scold us or given moralistic lectures

3. So we end up not talking to them, its easier and it does not help to talk to them anyway...

Of course, we do not have to always agree with the kids, the book also has many tips for learning how to state our stand without anger so we convey the message without hurting the child's esteem.

Let me share more as I get through more.. I am slowly savoring the lessons..

Still the first step I think is to suspend our agenda when we are with kids.

Like I always say, spend time with the kids mindfully, and avoid pushing our agenda, and let's try not to fall into the trap of not actively listening to our kids. if we don't listen, we are also ignoring and belittling our kids...

Lesson 2: feedback on bad behavior

I was attending a 2 hr training on how to give feedback as our annual appraisal period is here.

I was introduced to the following framework:


i. Give feedback by describing the action/ behavior objectively
i.e. i notice you are not delivering the reports on time or I saw you are shouting at someone.

ii. Describe the impact of the action

i.e so the client was upset or and that upset the other party so much that she is t motivated to work

iii. Allow the person to respond and explain.

iv. suggest improvements.


My biggest take out was how step i and ii are so crucial and useful to the way we talk to our kids about bad behavior.

We tend to emotionalise the issue or label them in the process, which affects their self esteem or make them defensive, e.g. "You are so naughty, how many times have I told you to stop throwing your bricks?" "Why do you not listen to what i say, stop jumping!"


All these statements, for one, does not state the real action that needs to be addressed or the action that we want our kids to do or follow (i.e. put down the bricks gently/ stay still) and it labels the kids and hurt their esteem through negation.

We need to state the problem and the impact clearly so that the kid understand the borders or the parameters and that will ensure that the same action will not be repeated. it needs to be clear to the kid. And when we are less emotional, the kid are also less likely to be defensive or go into a tantrum in response to our anger..

I find it very useful to note these little skills - interaction between 2 person is like a ball bouncing between 2 people.. we need to get the serve and the swing right, so the receiving party volleys the ball back gamely back to us and in the manner we want..

If we have to set out to rightly speak what we mean or to positively address a situation, we cannot expect the kids to respond rightly to us.

Worst, they may pick up all our bad cues and next time play them back to us..

Hence, working is not that bad sometimes I think.. as I feel being skilled worker does value add us as parents, and being parents also make us more aware and experienced in managing people and their emotions. these little lessons I learn are great help I think in managing my babies.. I need all the help i can get with these 2 little lovely rascals

Meanwhile, I am gonna survive this working trip and look forward going home to En En, with his orange Jim Thompson elephant.. :) as promised.. and something for Xuan Xuan to destroy as well...

Monday, November 26, 2007

Children's Park adventure..

I have been working so hard that I feel compelled to make up to the kids the past weekend.
I resolutely shut my laptop and was determined to bring them out, despite, or precisely cuz Papa is not around.. I feel the need to be double the fun double the responsibility..

So I told En that we would go to the Children's Park - we went once before, but the Park is closed on Monday, so En ended up feeding the fish in Botanic Gardens the last time..

This time round, it was the perfect day out at the park.. and I must say the park does have its potential.. There is this plant watering area, with water sprouting out of the ground as well which all the kids revel in.. but as En and Xuan did not have extra clothes on them, i tried to dissuade them from being totally wet.. Still en was fascinated with the archaic water dispenser which draws water up from the ground - no tap. Quite cool actually.

Then there is the tree house, which En gingerly made his way about.. fun stuff...

Then there is this other little house for kids to explore and play.. Xuan is calmly and coolly taking all the new excitement in stride.. he loves the outdoors very much, though sometimes he looks a tad lost.


Little Xuan fascinated by the surroundings.. and wondering...

Then there is En's favourite, which we have to visit twice before he is willing to leave the park..
There is this floating deck in the pond and there we sat for a long while simply enjoying the greens and looking at the murky waters!

I made a few observations during the trip..
Most parents are really involved with their kids.. then there are some who leave their kids to lay while they enjoy the papers, then there are those who are screaming at the top of their voices at the rowdy kids, or stopping the gals from climbing too high up the tree house...

I hope we as parents can be more involved in kids' activities.. and as well as letting them have enough space to explore.. While it is v tiring to be involved all the time, but for the 2-3 hrs at the park.. it will really be nice to really play with the kids I feel. It is part of the quality time spent.. No criticism here, but somehow i feel if we bring the kids to the park but then leave them to be while we read papers, it does not somehow seem like we have spend quality time with the kids.. hmm..

Then i also note some parents admonishing kids who are scruffy, crawling on the floor etc..
I thinks parents who have seen Xuan crawling about the walkways, and with En imitating him and crawling after him must be appalled.. at the level of dirt I allow my kids to get into.. Of course there are there parents who are OK to have the kids rowdy, so long as the rowdiness does not extend to them.. For me, well I have no qualms about sitting where the kids are comfortable or taking En through the little pebbled walkway amidst the sprouting plants and having to fan the plants away as we make our way to the pond.. after all, a clean bath is a drive away.. I think kids should be allowed to explore and have fun with minimal restrain.. at a young age of 1 or 2, what do they really know about dirty clothes and palms.. and it kinda defeat the purpose of getting back to nature if we really want to be very Jane Austen lady like about it..

I think as parents, one of the things I enjoy most is to return to child play, despite my age.. The ability of a child to draw us down to their level and experience their world is amazing. And we have to be willing to go to that place.. Sometimes I also feel if I am older when I have kids, I may not have the energy, nor the effort to do the child like things that kids love to do - along with the right spirit. I think that sporting spirit is important and critical to bonding and affinity.

Do not play with a child expecting the child to abide by our rules. Do not even set too many rules, many of which the child do not understand..

Do allow the child to bring out the child in us.. do share that free- spiritedness and joy that the child possess in exploring the world around them.
It is something that they only have once, and we as adults only have as long as our kids remain kids. One day, they will grow up and assume responsibilities required to face this world.
One day, they will lose that free spiritedness... and as much as I can, I protectively want En and Xuan to have as much of that now.. when they are licensed to do that. And I want to be part of that precocious world..

It is a tiring 2 hours, but an enriching one for all of us..
And I feel much better returning to work today, knowing I spent a great, relaxing weekend with the babies..





Each step you take may be tiny,
Yet it is a big step for me to follow and catch up..

As you make your way about this world in your infant steps
Seeing the world through your angelic eyes,
Learning about the world with your chubby fingers and fists,
Filling the world with your amused chuckles

I tread slowly and carefully in your wake
Trying to catch a glimpse of the world that you have revealed to me
And ridding myself of the world's puppet strings

Just so I can really be with you
In this space and time that can only be
When you are with me.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Spidey fan?

It has been a long time.. since I ve been busy.. think I will be occupied at work all the way till mid Dec, and then I will have a bit of peace... but i have already started planing for Xuan Xuan's party, from guest list to decor to buffet. it is gonna be one big event since xuan did not do a 1 month thinggi.. kinda to appease the elders...

Well, some photos here on En' final term party for the year.. the theme is family and to celebrate christmas, as usual he as lots of fun with the food and all, but not very entusiastic about meeting Santarina, not even with the lure of present.


Xuan Xuan has been growing bolder and bolder by the day.. snatching everything from his kor kor, destroying toys and books and all that he can find..

But a really cute boy nonetheless..

I have been trying to toilet train En En, but not making an progress.. the boy is immensely shy.. and stubborn.. think it will take some time really..

He seem to have develop a liking for Spiderman recently.. as a female I cannot comprehend this fascination with super heroes, boys wanting to be power range, transformer, batman, spideman etc etc... I shudder whenever I see boys acting out these super heroes roles in public, rowdy and silly..

BUt that is probably me a girl's perspective.. so what happened was he adored the spiderman add on on his classmate's crocs and told Ah Kim who is fetching him from school for us that those were his shoes.. only to turn out it is the same blue crocs but not his!!

He simply like the spiderman add on!
I will off to buy him his spidey add on nonetheless..i just hope he wont graduate to spidey waterbottle,spidey bag, spidey suit!!!!
a small spidey add on I can stand... for now.. :)

Monday, November 05, 2007

Back- dated Photo Galore

Finally updating the photos..
Lost the cable for a while..

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Remains of En's birthday photos..


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Xuan Xuan and his antics.


Thursday, October 25, 2007

Envy and Regret

i just read Diana's Ser's interview about motherhood in Simply Her this month.
i just read blinkmummy's entry on "One's constrains and One's Context".
i recently finished Grey's Anatomy where Addison found she had trouble conceiving a child when she thought she had all the time in the world to do so...

Such is life..
Sometimes I think mums have a lot of regrets.
Well, i dun think mums regret hvaing the kids, but we probably have all goe through phases where we have doubts..
about ourselves, about our choices, about the kids...
that kinda unstablises us..

Then we will look to our kids, and think we are really lucky, blessed etc etc..

Well, from Diana's article, I agree that woman will always have doubts, but we are actually stronger than what we think we are.. and our kids give us that strength, to push us to the limits and still survive and come out stronger..

From blinkymummy's entry, i feel that we are all susceptible to envy, some of us look at our peers and envy the for what they have achieved and wonder if our choices are right..

However, unless we are like Addison in Grey's Antomy where she realises too late that she has not been clear on what she wants in her life (choosing career over having kids) and ends up full of regrets, we will never really be, IN OUR PRESENT MOMENT, truly confident and contented and sure that what we have done and chosen are what we want and right for us..

Of course, there are some people who are - but then we always wonder if those people are right when they seem sure of themselves and what they are doing, that they may be blinded to other stuff...

Doubts are a large part of our life.. because there is no certainty in this world.
Envy is our song sometimes because we are greedy and always on the lookout for more self gratification..
But what i cannot live with is regrets..

And because of my fear for regrets, there are times when i have made choices which are measures against regret, even though they may not be what I am SURE I want..

Choosing En and Xuan over career is one of those things..

I fear that i will regret it if I don't have kids early- that i may not have them or that i may not enjoy them as much when i have them older...

so even though i have much doubts sometimes, about whether I will be happier, better etc etc if I don't have kids.. I have made a choice that leaves no chance for the regret that i fear.

And to be that is a safe choice.
i always don't know what I want..
But I am sure of what I don't want...
And I think that is a good start...

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

thinking..

We celebrated En's birthday right early the past weekend, cuz Papa and mummy will be away for work, and by the time we are back in town, we will not have been in time for a weekend party for him..

It was a cosy gathering of people that he is familiar with and like... so no more wailing like his first party, and no need to "hide" him, he was gamely playing with everyone happily..

Photos to be uploaded soon .. since grandpa and grandma took the pics, but again, we seem to have missed the family pic thinggi.. we so do need to get our act together.. esp for Xuan.

We cannot keep going on like this - lacking in family pics. I feel so uneasy about it..

These days, I have been addicted to Facebook, and then to Grey's anatomy season 3..
Hence have not been actively blogging..

But En's birthday reminded me how time flies.. really in less than a blink of an eye, my baby is already 2 years old!

And I am thinking..
i think i m addicted to motherhood .. it is a bit like a love hate relationship..
on days one feels as if it can't get any worst..
yet there are days, when it simply can't get any better...

Maybe I have been lucky, I have yet to have any real "fights" with babies, or be really angry at them or with them..
and more times than not, I really enjoy them and their company..

Looking back, celebrating En's 2 yrs old is also like another graduation year for me - in the course of motherhood.

It is like one is gradually learning and growing without really thinking or looking at it.

Well, it has been a great 2 years.. and I can't look back.

There has not been any real tangible rewards of motherhood, but deep inside me, I know I have changed. It is not a drastic change, but something more insidious and gradual.

and at the end of the day, I feel really good sometimes..
simply happy for the fact that I live another day to listen to En's funny talk, and seeing Xuan's cheeky smile..

Sunday, October 07, 2007

back to reality..

Back, and a tad lazy...
Being kid-less for 9 days kinda deluded me into thinking I am into the single carefree female.
The only mum duty i had to perform while we were away was to call home every morning and ask what new antics the kids are up to.. kinda easy...

Well, in the days since i was back, quite lot happened..
1. Xuan Xuan started babbling lots, and coming into his own character.. erm, kinda like his personality is really emerging now.. hm.. Seeing is believing..

2. En manage to settle himself in 3 days a week 3 hour school on his own.. I was with him for a session, hubby was with hi for 2 sessions and last Thurs and fri, he was on his own. Teachers' feedback was he was "consolable" and engaged in class.. not too bad, I was expecting worst.

3. Now last minute panic, planning for En's birthday this coming saturday. We are doing his birthday way in advance given hubby's crazy travelling schedule coupled with my own.

4. Today, while we were shopping at Wisma, we witnessed a kid's hand stuck in between the gaps of the lift, and the kid wailed non stop. He should be slightly younger than En and slightly older than Xuan, and thoroughly traumatised y the experience. Hubby said the mum looked shell-shocked. Xuan Xuan was looking at the wailing baby curiously throughout the entire episode. Well, we figured they should go to the A&E at the nearby Mt E to have an X ray taken to make sure all is well...

And finally, those who wondered how the kids coped while hubby and I were away for so long, well a good summary will be to quote En En's saying "Mummy, Papa go england". haha!

When we first saw En at the airport while we were waiting to claim our bags, he did not cry but kept motioning us to join him on the other side of the glass.

When we have collected our baggage and saw him finally, he cried tearily.. and dramatically on our shoulders. Well, that kinda encapsulated how he feels about us being away.

So when I asked him if he wanted to go with us to england the next time, he pondered for a while and said "Dun wan"... :)

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The Issue of Choice..

I think store assistants who have seen us shopping with En are probably very amused..
By the rather trying experience in selecting and buying something for En.

Well, I read somewhere that it is healthy to get the kids to choose things for themselves when they are about 15 mths plus. Kinda for them to exercise their independence and like a form of training. Hence, some months back, we have increasingly asked for En's opinion from which set of pyjamas he wants to wear, to what colour socks to what toys he wants to play etc.

So recently, we progressed to letting him choose the things to buy.
And well.. we ended up with these add ons for his crocs..


Both hubby and I walked out of shop wondering why in the world we paid the cost of 2 happy meals for these rather "common" things. I dunno why he wanted that elephant in the first place (I dun even know he is so into elephant, I thought his current passion is with horses); there are many colours of elephants, but he insisted on the brown one. Then there are so many types of balls, rugby, basketball, soccerball etc etc, and our little friend only wanted "this one".

And hubby tried to psyche him with the other nicer stuff, but our En En "dunwan". There were tonnes of cute zebras, flowers, rockets, trains, mickey mouse and all the disney characters, we walked out of the shop with these 2 mis-matched, themeless and not very exciting looking add ons. I bet the store assistants must be thankful that we helped them clear stock for these non exciting items..

Well.. the only satisfaction we had was

1. Every 5 steps or so, En would bend down and touch his shoes - "phant" and " ball ball"
2. When he came home, he refused to take off his shoes and kicked up a big fuss when we tried to persuade him that he cannot go to sleep with his shoes on.

So we are pacified. He has demonstrated the he is really fond of the add ons and it is money well spent, no matter how we feel about the add ons ourselves...

Monday, September 10, 2007

cheeky babies...

Stealing the pics that hubby has taken over the weekend, when the 2 babies were well dressed to go out.. looking good and cooperatively having their pics taken..

and u can see why Xuan is soon to be the really notti one..

First you think this little one seems fairly harmless, a tad clueless sometimes..

Then you think he is such an angelic baby, with that innocent look...

Then you start to wonder if he is really as innocent as he look since he seems to be on Momo's back most of the times, mostly just irritating her..

Then he starts on his "Disturb you while you drive" tactics.. irritating his brother as well..


So here is the TRUE FACE of the cheeky little boy, who has this swirl on his head testifying it..

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Regaining My Sanity

To start - many thanks for the barrage of SMS-es, and also Cheryl for her comments.
I am fine now, finally got the tears to stop at around 7 plus in the evening on Saturday, and I even managed to venture outta the house for dinner.

I know that on hindsight that I am gonna feel very silly.
It is just one of those things which emotions just overwhelmed one.
In any case, I am still extremely sore that I missed the first concert with En, cuz apparently he really enjoyed it, and was able to sit through the concert for 1.5 hrs.

Well.. NJ did not take any pics etc so I won't really know, I think he is just afraid to rub salt on wound as he knows I am so not ever going to forgive him for this.

Still, on a positive note, it is one of those lessons one inevitably gotta learn.

There are things that the man still does not know about a woman's way of thinking despite knowing each other for 10 years.
We cannot expect a man to know what we want all the time.

And I have this streak of wanting to experience as much of the 2 boys as I can.
I feel that the experience of motherhood is kinda linear.
Some things, some experiences only happen once.
Kinda like the first time the baby crawls, the first time he calls you Mummy, the first time that he walks towards you...

All these milestones are special in those moments when they happened.
And I want to be part of those milestones.
I take parenthood very seriously as an experience.

*********************************************************

Anyway, I am so going to blog this conversation that Husband and I just had half an hour ago.

In the aftermath of the emotional turmoil that wasted me away for the whole of Saturday, I continue to "torment" him with little nudges and poison.

So i asked: "When was the last time you bought me something... You bought En new add-ons for his Crocs, and even a new book fr him etc etc.. when did you last buy me anything.."

And he answered "Last week, when you ran outta coffee, I bought you the coffee (Refills). Coffee is very important to you..."

*faint* Well, goes to show how different man and woman are yeah..
Sala frequency all the way lor!

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Wasted

I feel I am dead, or in mourning.

The last time I was I mourning, I did the same.

Cried from night to day.

Eyes swollen, mind empty.

And I have stopped eating.

Since this morning, I only had coffee, and some chips.

And I feel empty.

So it is so that I have wasted the whole of Saturday.

I feel wasted.

I am wasted.

Mentally, emotionally wasted.

Pain is a scary thing.

Loss...

I am sitting here, crying.

Sadness and Anger have visited me again. And both together this time, knocking on my door and making themselves guests in me.

The recent progress I made with the book “Buddhism for Mothers” taught that we ought to confront the feelings we feel every day as what t is and recognize that it is part of all the impermanence that surrounds us. It is also part of the training for being in the moment.

So here I am, pass midnight, blogging as tears continue to make their way down my face.

This is perhaps, also one of the most brutally honest entry I have made so far, in terms of confronting the emotions straight on ...

As human, sometimes we do not want to disclose the ugly and weak side of ourselves. But in this, for you to understand my sadness, it will inevitably bring out the worst side of me too.


It all started with free front row tickets to the Hi-5 concert given to me by my cousin.

I did my due diligence to check that kids under the age of 2 do not require admission tickets. So I am happy that we have a chance to bring En to his first concert, and I was hoping we can go as a family, Papa, mummy and En.

It will be like a treat for him.

He likes Hi 5 according to super nanny.

And he likes to go out with us together. Some time back, he was reading this Chinese story book to me about Papa, Mummy and baby going to the beach. Young as he is, he seems to have this notion of family togetherness. He also likes Goldilocks and the 3 bears, with Papa Bear, Mummy Bear and Baby Bear. And he has another story book which talks about night falling, and Papa sleep, mummy sleep, baby sleep.

So I was looking forward to it, especially after running 2 weeks of groups, i.e. late nights when I do not get to see him at nights, and I am faced with another weekful of groups next week, and thereafter we will be off to the UK when I will not see him for a while. So I was really looking forward to spending time with him, as a family unit.

I dun really care for Hi 5 myself, but it is the experience that is important.

After all, it is En’s first concert.

If he remembers it, I want to be part of that memory.

Even if he does not remember, but is happy and enjoys that, I want to be part of that experience.

It is not my experience, but it is this desire to share his experience. It is part of growing up – first day at school, his first school uniform, the first time he fell down, first time he sees an airplane, first time to the concert..

All these are important to me.

Just like the things we remember about our relationship – the first date, the first kiss, the first year anniversary, the different experiences a couple goes through..

These things, for some strange reason, are important to me.

They are like little memories that one stores in a bottle and put them in a shelf in our heart and mind.

But then, my husband has to go offer a ticket to his nephew without consulting me.

And he happily asks me to bring the boys while he waits outside.

I am not going to bring 2 rowdy boys on my own to a high energy concert.

And he does not seem to understand that I am upset not because I want to be with En (since he offered me the chance to bring the boys), but I am extremely upset that we will then not be able to experience with En his first concert as a family.

I think men are stupid. They so do not get such things.

And then the man offered to withdraw the ticket from the nephew.

And in this case, I am selfish.

But yet, I am not selfish enough to deny the 3year old boy who is probably really excited and geared up for the concert and the meet the stars session (the tickets offers the opportunity to meet the performers !!)

So I am between the rock and a hard place.

To be brutally honest, I am really selfish. I wonder why do we have to offer the ticket to the 3 yr old. Yet, I can understand d his disappointment if we deny him the ticket.

Now, even if I choose to act on my selfish thought, and do not bring the nephew along, the experience will be a tainted one, as I will feel that I am building our happiness and experiencing En’s experience of the misery of the little boy. I cannot do that. But I am extremely upset, angry and unhappy about it.

So here I am crying, because I feel very sad that I am missing that experience.

It sounds very silly as I type it. But it is just this loss.


*******************************************************

As one walks along the beach, looking for that little precious seashell that you know you will find... and one misses it, as the beautiful shell half buried itself in the sand..

Has one miss that precious thing forever, or is there a chance that one will have another chance to find that precious little seashell again?

Even if one does find another seashell which is as beautiful, one would already and really have missed the previous one, half buried in the sand.

Is missing that seashell an important loss, or will the new ones that you find make up for it?

But the new one is after all, still not the one that you miss, so theoretically, one cannot replace another.

And it is so that I see this incident.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Term End Party at JG

Last Saturday was the term end party for En at JG.
It was our first party, (we missed the last sem for some forgotten reason).
So the instruction was to bring some snack - no beef, no pork, no nuts.

So we bought cheese cubes (En's fav) and pandan cake.
And there were tonnes of food.. and even a birthday cake from Chloe who turned 2 that day.

Well, the theme for this term was Farm and Fairy Tales, so kids were encouraged to dress up as per the theme.
Well, we could not find any appropriate clothes, so we just let En wore his zebra top (a farm animal mah) . But we should not have worried, as the teachers were well prepared with body crayons and we had a really fun session of transforming the kids' faces, arms and legs with the drawings.

Check out who En became - A mini Jack Sparrow with a Hearts and bones tattoo thanks to his Chinese Lao Shi and English teacher working on him the same time.. And I think he did not really comprehend what happened to him, but was happy to jump and dance around to the music.

There were lions, spiders , butterflies, adorable cats and many other pirates around.

Little Evans, one of En's classmate, had a spider drawn on his leg (Itsy Bitsy spider, climbed up his leg). However, it turned out that he was scared of the spider and teacher Eliza had to rub the spider off him..

It was a really fun session, En thoroughly enjoyed it. The kids could really feel the fun and festives in the air. En was jumping around so much that we had to remove his socks from his feet so he can run around without fear of him slipping.

This was our first kids party, and NJ and I really enjoyed it.
It was a mere 2 hours, but it was like a little getaway for us, we felt little like kids ourselves as we watch all the kids prancing around full of energy.

At the end of the session, certificates were given to the kids, so every kid went up to collect the cert as his/ her name was called. We were not expecting En to be able to go and collect his cert and come back to us, but he did it! It was a surprise as we thought he would be too shy or fearful.

After a full semester, we have seen some improvements. His command of language is stronger than when we first began, he is now engaging the teachers better - both the Chinese and the English teachers, to the point that he would give each of them a hug after class, and he is now more at ease with the other kids in his class.

So we will be really looking forward to Term 4!

***********************************************************************

I want to blog about this issue, before I forget..
I saw a pamphlet advertising a workshop for parents "How to Talk to Your Kids So They will Listen". It is a 6 sessions workshop, and based on the acclaimed book of the same title. Now I dunno if it is the author herself conducing the workshop, but I found out about that at JG.

So it costs about $400 plus for 6 such sessions - every Saturday for 2 hours.
I was quite keen, but was a bit worried about travel and work interrupting the workshop.
Husband thought it was a little pricy.

There is no doubt that the workshop is pricy.
It all depends on one's affordability. Assuming affordability is not an issue, then we have to grapple with the willingness to spend issue.

I am thinking about it in terms of how we often seek to upgrade ourselves for a better job.
We read books, read papers, attend courses at work so as to up our skill set so that we become an asset to our employer, nail that promotion and move up the corporate ladder.

And I question why should being parents be ANY DIFFERENT?
If I draw on the same analogy, should we not be equally conscious of upping our skill set as parents, of upgrading ourselves to be better parents so that we become a greater asset for our kids?

Why do we bother attending boring courses etc for work, and not take more effort in improving ourselves to be parents. We studied for a good 15years plus etc to prepare ourselves for the workplace.

Have we really thought of what we have done to prepare ourselves to be better parents? Are we naturally good parents? Even if we are, just as we upgrade to stay relevant at the workplace, why should learning to be good parents be any different?

I feel that being a parent is a life long job - more so than whatever position we hold in the office now. And we need to be more conscious of being good parents for our kids as we are their parents for life, and teaching and nuturing them is our long term job. We are not born with the skills to be good parents, so it is actually quite essential that we learn through all ways to become better in our roles as parents - observing other parents, trial and error, reading about it, attending workshop/ talks with the experts etc.

I just feel that sometimes when we look at the cost of what we have invested in the kid - versus what we have invested in OURSELVES as parents - the ratio is disproportionate. We take pains to save money so as to offer them the best education etc etc, when we ourselves are their sole contact and closest kin that they have, we are our kids' first' mentor, and everything we do and say have an immense impact on them, and possibly for life.

So why should we not invest in ourselves to be better parents?
I keep thinking how we can so easily miss this - as we pursue that promotion, that next pay raise, that upgrade in our education, that savings for the kids future etc, that we forget that we need to invest in ourselves as parents, and seeking to upgrade ourselves to be better parents.

Hence, when hubby mentioned that the cost is pricy, I do agree, but when willingness to pay becomes an issue instead of affordability, i just cannot agree in lieu of all the reasons I have stated above.

I think sometimes, we just miss the bigger picture as we become so used to our role as parents.
We are not born parents, no one is.
And Parenting is a far more important job than whatever role we are now holding in office...

Friday, August 31, 2007

Finally.. 象不象?





















Today the 2 boys are in good moods, laughing and making lots of noise when we got home.
And I finally see them during their active period this week (with all the previous late nights at work), cuz finally managed to come home before 7 today..

And so finally managed to take a few pics of En en together with Xuan Xuan..
En was really cooperative, and when I asked him to take pics with Xuan, he went to stand at the place I wanted him to.

When I asked him to hold Di-di's hands, he took di - di's hands in his own.
That moment for me was really sweet. But somehow did not manage to capture that in the photos - can only see part of En's hands ..

These days, I find En has become really affectionate towards his di-di.
Apparently, every morning when he sees his di-di, he will hug xuan xuan.
Today when I came home, and Xuan Xuan was crawling around un-supervised, En En ran after him calling loudly, "Di-Di Crawl" - trying to prevent him from venturing into the kitchen (albeit a tad aggressively).

When Xuan Xuan wails, he will also go and pat Xuan Xuan's head, sometimes he will pass toys to Xuan Xuan to play, or give Xuan Xuan his book (Di-Di's book).

Every evening, Xuan will sit in the car that En used to sit in, and go for his rounds around the estate with En and Mel. En en will help Mel push the car that Xuan Xuan sits in.

I have never seen him chase Xuan out of the car; Enwould push Xuan round and round the estate, and when Xuan came out of the car, only then would En say "En En sit car" and tried to climb into the car. To me, this is really sweet of him. Maybe it is not exactly taking turns, but at least I have never seen him wrestle Xuan out of the his car before.

And these sweet gestures really endear En to my heart.

And recently, with them laughing together more often, I find that finally, the 2 boys seem to be engaging with each other.

Maybe their close age plays a part. Also maybe my mum, mel and us have always tried to create opportunities to bond them together.

I am realistic enuf to know that the fights will come.
Hence, I am blogging these really sugary moments, so remind all of us that beneath the fights, there is an affectionate loving side to their relationship...

Anyway, looking at the pics, I think the 2 look quite alike.. except one is obviously male and the other is more androgynous looking.. still can't figure out what are the "things" that differentiate them that way.. maybe we should play "Spot the Difference"..

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Angel Choir

This weekend, we managed to bring both babies out together... 2 Times!

[Usually, we will bring Xuan out for our late lunch when En is having his post lunch nap. And when En wakes, and Xuan naps, we will bring En out with us.. ]

And in the back of the car, the 2 babies respectively strapped into their car seats, shared a laughing and giggling session.. Xuan Xuan started laughing loudly, and then En En joined in, the 2 smiling faces facing each other.

Seated in front of the seats, and hearing the shrill laughs of the 2 babies, laughing along with each other, it was as if I am hearing the angels sing. It was one of the most beautiful sounds I have ever heard.

That was the first time i hear both of them laugh together .. And then they did it again the second time we went out with both babies seated in the back of the car.

I am now thinking of getting a digital recorder to record these lovely musical moments...

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Being Touched and Being In Touch

I am compulsively blogging now cuz I anticipate that I will be totally bogged down by work for the next 2 weeks - HST (High Stress Time) coming back next 2 weeks.

However, I happened to read the "Tears Over Scrambled Egg" entry from akkueh's blog over the weekend, which got me thinking..

How life de-sensitised us.
How easy it is to lapse into numbness.
How amnesia strike us, such that we forgot why we love in the first place.

Still, I also think we are both the perpetrators as well as the victims of the act - the act of NEGLECT.

We have either willingly chosen, or passively be led, to stop being active in Loving.
We let the "pleasant, non conflicting" state continue, naively thinking, or believing that such a state will perpetuate itself.

However, the reality is that what is pleasant at that moment then lapsed into a state of habit and norm.
The state of habit and norm then lapsed to a state of boredom.
The state of boredom become glasses through which we view the world and the activities around us.

Struck by boredom, we begin to take interest or are attracted by people who are capable of lifting us out of this boredom.

And then we began to think that the other people are more interesting, more attractive.

But if we look at it backwards - we have chosen to let boredom strike us we have chosen not to actively LOVE our partner.

And if we look forwards - if we do not recognise this cycle - boredom will have a chance to strike us again some time down the road, and again we will start thinking our loved one is not adequate to meet our needs in love.

However, in the case of Tears over scrambled eggs, despite active loving, one still becomes the victims of neglect.

Sometimes, I think males are more capable of acts of neglect than females.
One glaring instance is when men stopped noticing the females that they are with.
Why are they capable of noticing other females, and yet stopped noticing the partner that they claim they love?

Just like we do not stop in our rapid strides everyday, chasing other things, to take time to smell the roses, some men do not take time to look at their partners.

It is the classic case of "look but not see".

I remember vaguely reading an article where some couples shared their secrets of relationship longevity, and one very old lady said that her husband never let her forget that she is beautiful in his eyes, because she wakes up everyday to him telling her so.

The there is the "hear but not listen". Just like a careless gardener who does not hear the cries of help from the flowers choked by weeds, men do not hear the distress signals put out by their partners.

Reading the entry, I feel that "被爱的女人最美" - and so a song went.
And if males want their females to be beautiful, they ought to spend more time tending to the females - just like the gardener tends to his garden of flowers.

Neglect withers a female.

Reading the entry Tears Over Scrambled Egg, I was reminded of this song.

************************************************************
"人鱼的眼泪" by南拳妈妈



透过窗舷你望着翦影一夜
爱上他在天与海的交界
你忍痛用声音交换了双腿
只为走近爱的人身边

你赌上毁灭相信真爱会永远
不懂专情不适合人类
而你连道别都没有人听见
黎明后随浪花凋谢

你的泪一抹无邪
不属於这个冷漠的世界
舍弃了一切只为一个能够
付出你真爱的机会

你的泪一抹无邪
原来感情那麽难以学会
他身边是谁消失前后不后悔
你的悲伤是否像海一样深邃

你赌上毁灭相信真爱会永远
不懂专情不适合人类
你最美的梦像泡沫般碎裂
剩童话里忧伤一页

你的泪(你的泪)
一抹无邪(一抹无邪)
原来感情那麽难以学会
他身边是谁消失前后不后悔
人鱼最后的泪像海一样深邃

***********************************************************
And I do not want to be a victim of neglect.
I do not want others to jolt me out of the numbness.

I do not want to be touched by others' appreciation of me.
And I need to be in touch with Active Loving.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Shed More Than 1 Litre of Tears..

We took some time finishing the Jap series "One Litre of Tears". Because it is too hurting to the eyes and heart.

And over the days, I think I may have shed more than 1 litre of tears.
And my conclusion is, it is heart-rending. And I felt very painful watching the suffering that the parents experienced, in addition to the torment that the gal has to put up with her illness.

Not one episode went by without me tearing over the events unfolding.
For those who do not know this film yet, do check out the link I embedded in the title.
And it being based on a true story about a gal named Aya, who contracted an incurable illness which still does not have a cure today, evoked a whole range of emotions.. as this is real - not just some soap plot meant to solicit tears.

And I think being a mum has also influenced the way I react and look at the film.

I imagined that if I had watched this when I was younger, with no kids, I will still be tremendously touched by the film, by the protagonist's determination and perseverance to live on, despite knowing that there is little hope of her recovering from her illness, despite not understanding why the strange disease had crept up on her..

I think I will feel deeply for the support that her family gave her, and how they coped with her illness and the changes it brought to them all.

However, as a mum watching it, not only did I feel much for the suffering protagonist, my heart went out to the parents, especially her mum. I found myself watching and observing how the mum coped with knowing that the daughter was diagnosed with an incurable illness. And that in real life, this really happened to a young gal, and to her mum.

I found myself marveling over the resilience that both parents displayed in face of the difficult times, how both parents staunchly supported and stood by their daughter to make her last days in life filled with warmth and meaning.. how they unconditionally love her, even as her illness transformed a lively, independent gal into a decrepit, helpless patient.

And I find myself learning a lot about parenting from the parents in the film..

The mum in the film always puts on a smiley face for her daughter, no matter how much heart ache she felt over the pain that her daughter is suffering.

The parents are ever resilient and sacrificial..

The parents trusted, respected and supported the decisions made by their daughter unconditionally, and everything that the parents wanted did, was with the sole interest of the daughter's happiness.

And it got me thinking about how, as a mum and parents, we need to really be able to let go, and trust our children.

One of the most touching and meaningful moments in the show for me, was a conversation that the mum had with the dad of the Aya's boyfriend.

"We always think that as parents, our role is to educate and teach our kids... However, I have learnt that the kids are also educating and teaching us..."

To me, that is a very powerful revelation.
We need to be able to let go enough to learn from our kids.
We need to take the first step of giving our kids the chance to teach us what they know, of their world, and of their feelings.

As parents, often think that we know the best. And we know more than our kids.

However, if we are not open to the idea that we can also learn from our kids, that we can learn valuable lessons from their thoughts, their feelings, the way they handle and deal with things, we risk losing what they can offer us.
And worst of all, we risk alienating them.

We often fall into the trap of thinking we know our kids very well. And as such, we tend to plan their life for them - sometimes forgetting that they are individuals, and individuals with thoughts and feelings.

Armed with "doing the best for them", we may be blind to the fact that we are stifling them, not giving them enough room to explore.. We forget that doing the best for them does not equate to making them happy.

I think, for a start, we need to recognise that we can learn, and are learning from our kids everyday. It is only with this, that we look out for all the things that the kids are capable of teaching us. And how, we are also learning about ourselves as we spend time with our kids. How having kids also necessitated a learning process for us so that we learn to live and grow with them.

Through the film, I was also struck by the pain that parents inevitably suffer for their kids.

We do not need the death of a child to feel the pain.
As parents, I feel we are very prone to pain and suffering.

When our kid are hurt, we ache for them.
When they are going through hardship, we experienced double the hardship.
When they are feeling down and in despair, we feel for what they are feeling.

Such is the funny relationship that parents have with their kids.

Though I have always feel that we should not be too attached to our kids, yet the attachment is something that creeps up on you.

And I am beginning to feel that it is not something that I can simply willed away just because my brain says so.

Because, I can already feel the ache in my heart and the fear when I imagine any pain befalling on my little boys...

However, I have also learnt that I need to be a source of positivity for my kids.

It is painful to hide one's pain and despair behind a mask of positivity and happiness, but it is a skill that all parents need to master skilfully. And I have seen a master of that in this show.

Aya's mum was an epitome of positivity; gentle, caring, nurturing and warmth but imbued with stealth resilience steering her from within. If nothing else, I know the qualities of a paragon mum when I see one.

Anyway, here is a snapshot of the film..

Sunday, August 19, 2007

连环拍

Had a chance to do continuous photo shoots of the 2 boys over the weekend.
Here are the 3 faces of the 2 boys..


Different yeah?
They look different, their temperaments are so different..

I think Xuan is too active, and too cheeky for his name sometimes...

Friday, August 17, 2007

The "Ba-Boon", "Ba-Ba-na" and the "Pa-Pa-Ya"


Baby En has been very cute these few days. Because he's been learning some new words...

Sometime ago, we drove past a big balloon and I asked him to say Balloon. Our little friend called it "Ba-Boon".

Then recently he tried to say banana, but it came out as "ba-ba-na".
However, he was able to say "Papaya" correctly the first time!

Sometimes, I think that he must think that the Ba-ba-na and the papaya are similar - both are fruits and the first sound is repeated twice.

No matter how many times we articulated it for him - the balloon, the banana, and the papaya, he only got the papaya correct.

And hubby has this habit of saying "No, it is ba-Na-Na, not Ba-Ba-na", and i have to remind him that we ought to encourage him positively and not put his efforts in trying to articulate down. So try not to tell him no, otherwise, En may end up being very shy or not willing to articulate new words next time.

So patiently, and suppressing my giggles, I will say "En, say Banana", and he will say "Babana" and I will have to say, it is "Banana, try Banana"... and so it goes.. and if you ask him what does a monkey eat? He will say "Ba-Ba-na".

I am trying to figure out the Baboon versus the Balloon, cuz it is very cute when he says Baboon.. maybe we will bring him to the zoo again and let him see the Baboon versus the Balloon for himself.

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