Thursday, June 28, 2007

Weekly Dinner Bonding


I dunno when it happened, but we started having family dinner (Hubby, me and En) out once a week.

Our favourite is at Ma Mason, where they had the family treat where dad gets a beer, mum gets dessert and kid gets a toy.

However, we are also trying to discover the hang out joints around our neighbourhood, where there are various famous quiet haunts frequented by the people around the estate.

This family dinner thing usually happens on a Friday, and it is a great opportunity to observe how far En has come, and a good training ground for his independent feeding and table manners.

We are lucky that En likes to eat. So the fork and spoon and cup alone are enough toys for him. And when the food is served, he goes "wa..".

Today, we just discovered La Nonna. Fantastic Italian place, near my birthplace - around the Namly area. A quiet classy joint tucked away in a small corner of the street.

We have our usual family dinner today probably cuz I will be travelling tomorrow.
I had oven baked ribs, marinated in rosemary, it was good. Hubby has a rich oven baked lagsana. Oh, the starter lobster bisque is to die for.. better than the one I like at Triple3. En did not dare to try, (cuz I think he thought it was spicy Tom Yam soup)!

The ambience of the place is lovely, quaint, classy and quiet.
The food is superb. The italian wine list is tempting, but hubby and I agreed that we will jio Alv and Luci here the next time and we can dine and wine.

We had tiramisu (Hubby's favourite) for dessert and it is one of the best I have tried.
As for En, well he loved the bread.. hahah!
He took the bread and started munching on the bread. Cool.. it is another sage of his independent feeding. And he is stating preferences as well, it is not as easy to fool him these days or get him to try new stuff.

Still, he is a good companion at the meals, occasionally carrying on quite a conversation with us (on dolls, more please, papa mum mum, good, nice, giggles giggles).

And he enjoys feeding himself and dining with us.
I really thank super nanny for socialising him into loving his food.

We are having a bit of problem with Xuan, I hope all turn out well and we will love to have the 2 boys dining out with us.

Xuan Xuan - buck up and mum mum your cereal ok?!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Acceptable Flaw Concept - for relationship and for parenting

I have recently been introduced to the concept of acceptable flaw at work.

Everyone is allowed an acceptable flaw, which is overlooked and accepted, which does not detract from his/ her overall performance at work. It is a flaw, nonetheless, except that the other strengths of the worker overrride this flaw, and this flaw then became an acceptable flaw.

I thought it made quite a lot of sense.

So when i today sat and pondered about my state of current affairs at home, I started to wonder if this concept is applicable at home.

Perhaps, the recent saga with hubby can be viewed in this light.
And perhaps, all along, he is more savvy of this concept than I am..
And I am beginning to think that this concept is vital to the balance of a relationship.

Relationship experts have always cautioned that we should pick our fights and always focus on the positives of our partners, and recognise the negatives.

What this Acceptable Flaw concept adds to the above is that once we start to see our partners' weakness/ less desirable traits as part of their acceptable flaws (hopefully, there are not too many of them), then the relationship can exist in harmony.

For instance:

Hubby: Absent-mindedness - an acceptable flaw
Wife: Grouchiness in the morning before breakfast - an acceptable flaw
Hubby: A TV freak - an acceptable flaw
Wife: A compulsive control freak -an acceptable flaw

If we start reminding ourselves that there are threshold of acceptance and tolerance, and think deeply if things that made us unhappy fall within the scope of acceptable flaw, we will be happier.

I am not saying everyone is untitled to a long list of acceptable flaw, cuz that will defeat the purpose. But everyone of us is entitled to a few acceptable flaws, these little weaknesses that characterise us and we are helpless to change.

We accept these flaws and these flaws do not override the overall attractiveness/ strengths of a person. It is important to see and recognise that. Cuz no one is perfect.

I think this concept is applicable to parenting too.
Kids are entitled to acceptable flaws.

This should curb the compulsive urge to correct and discipline them all the time.
At present, En's stubborn-ness is an acceptable flaw. It is not something that we necessary agree with, but it is a vital part of his character and instead of picking and focusing on that, we ca channel our energy to other aspects of him which may require our attention.

So, I think this is a really great idea.
At work, we all have our acceptable flaw, e.g. I am less of a numbers person but my sensitivity to people and things more than make up for my lack of sharpness when I looks at tables and tables of numbers in my trade.

As a partner, I have quite a number of acceptable flaws, but so long as we know the acceptable flaws of each other, and that hubby will not turn to other woman because of these acceptable flaws, it makes the relationship more resilient.

As a mum, I allow for acceptable flaws in my kids, and focus on reinforcing the positive aspects of his character formation, and it enables us to build our relationship on the positives rather than to dwell on the negatives, thereby strengthening their positive areas to override the negative aspects.

I hope this thinking throws new light in your life too, as it did mine.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Baby Shrek...

So I have decided to go on living. Hubby said some things, I said some things.. some time down the road I will forget about these things, until something happens again. Life is liddat lor. Thanks for everyone's concern. I dunno if I am over it yet. I am just keeping my distance to be safe. I went to cut my hair - a sure sign of being at the end of my limits. Cutting hair is therapeutic for me. And i always do that when my life is in the dumps.

Anyway, I been travelling last week, hence, been feeling ultra tired, and possibly the reason for my short fuse too.

I gonna travel again this Friday. and will only be back on Saturday. Darn. burn my weekend.

Dun think the boys miss me much when I am away.

En, these days, is very good at saying, very matter of factly, when you ask him where Mummy is - "Go work".
Daddy goes work, mummy goes work. Momo goes "walk walk". Di-Di *he makes snoring sounds* to express Xuan Xuan sleeping. He knows everyone's routine well.

So when I am not around, I "goes work".
I should be glad that he is coping so well.. without me.
but then, i just wish he misses me more. Maybe that is what soulmates and non soulmates are all about. He is hubby's soulmate. So even when Hubby is in SG, he clings on to him like there is no tomorrow.

I is not his soulmate, so even when I am far far away, he seems unperturbed.
Hubby and I are not soulmates, according to the horoscope.

Been back to the problem of looking for a baby sitter.
Still looking...

Outta desperation, we went to interview this nanny who has a mentally slow kid.
While I am open and all, I still find the encounter a bit uneasy and uncomfortable.
The gal is quite grown up, at least 15-16 yrs old.
She sits on the floor, carefully observing us when we went into the house.

The nanny was a cheerful "lao lian" - the karaoke system in her house and the patent flashy shoes on the shoe racks outside her house gave her away (and sorry, the patent shoes dun look new hor, i doubt she bought them cuz patent shoes are so in now lor, you know what i mean, she is probably one of those blink blink queen). Oh, and of course, trust my in home observation skill to play a huge role in such cases.

anyway, then the gal started calling out "jie jie-why!" she yelled.
I don't know what to answer, so i kept quiet.
She kept repeating it till I had to say, "hello, why what?"

Then she inched closer to where I sat and started touching my skirt.
Me really real scared lor.

I am just not comfortable around her. and I abhor this weakness in me.
It is a weakness. It means my compassion does not override the social prejudices that are insidiously ingrained in me.

I heard she was not born this way, she became this way after a high fever.
and i do feel for her.
And then I told ms. nomad that i realise the POWER OF MONEY.

I noticed in the past that kids with Down's who are from the more well to do family seem to cope better and develop better. Probably cuz the parents are able to afford all those enrichment things/ the means to bring them out to socialise them and exposure them etc.

This nanny told me she can't go out because of her gal - if I read correctly in between the lines, she probably never brings her anywhere and seeking help to improve her gal's condition is probably beyond her affordability.

So i have come to the conclusion that - say what you want, but end of the day, money buys a lot in this world.
If the bad really happens, at least money can help ease the situation somewhat, and in this case, probably, offering this girl a better quality of life.

Then again, no one says that life is fair - so get a grip.
We just have to do our best.

And so the search for a good nanny continues.
But with En's supernanny as benchmark, I think everyone we meet so far falls short to some extent.

Anyway, here are some photos - i just got my camera cable back, so I can upload photos again! hooray!

Oh, i heard someone say that my son is cute - "the older one" - see, our society is so not forgiving lor, even babies are not spared. If you are born with a kawaii face, you are already 1 step ahead. From birth, xuan been compared to his more cute looking kor-kor - even the nurses at the hospital said that kor kor is more handsome... Life is unfair .. but Xuan Xuan is my baby shrek.. who knows one day he may marry a princess.. right?!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Wondering... about marriage.

This is probably the darkest entry I have thought of writing to date..
Sometimes, the hectic-ness of being a parent, a worker, a spouse and all just passes us by.. till something kinda knock us on the head, and we start wondering..

It is like waking up from a dream, or coming to the end of the road, and have us wondering how we ended up where we are.

Being parents does that to us a lot, I think. And being married beyond 3 years also does that to us I think.

It is like this constant state of "the present" just sweeps us along, and blinds us to it.
Till we are jolted awake by some incident, usually unpleasant, and we wonder if we are part of this iceberg that keeps snowballing/ freezing without us realising it till it has become huge. And we start thinking. and WONDER-ing..

about this something that is so now huge that what has gone into its building is unknown, or is forgotten. But the end result is there - this big mountain of an obstacle.

I am feeling something like that now.

When an iceberg gets that huge, you feel that you cannot undo the past - all those little freezing that has gone into building this huge obstacle.

After all, the chinese saying puts it very aptly, 冰冻三尺, 非一日之寒. We probably can't remember what has happened along the way, but we have the results of it slowly accumulating..

And now, what can we do when we have this realisation?
I can't undo the past, and i can't move forward with this baggage.
Because it will be a difficult journey. All these unpleasantness weighing us down. And also because we are collapsing under the weight, and I don't think we can hold out till the end.

As I was thinking about this, I vaguely remember something someone told me before, some Very Very Long ago. And now it is all beginning to make sense.

" I choose to live, because death is too painful. But living is not without its pain, because you know the path forward is difficult and full of pain too, as you have already started doubting if happiness ever exist for you."

Doubts are powerful stuff. They make everything appear unreal. They make one unsure. And worst of all, it makes one lose hope and feel like giving up.

Marriage after kids is hard. No doubts about it.
Sometimes I feel like I exist in this marriage without paying attention to it, without realising it and without caring for it.

We hardly have time to stop and think. And when we do, like I am now, it is almost always bad stuff. Thinking about it wont make it better. We don't have the time, nor the energy nor effort to make it better.

Seriously, it takes a lot of hard work. And realistically, our current lives have not time for it.
Is lack of time an excuse? Sounds a lot like it, but it is also the reality.

I am beginning to understand why it is possible for marriages to fall apart after kids. And why people start getting tired of their partners, or get to the point of not being able to tolerate their partner. Maybe because other things have become more important than the partner, such as the daily rigour and frustration that come with kids/ work and stuff.

It is like one always live life as it is, to suddenly realise everything has changed.
Some things have changed without you realising. People and their emotions have changed,. We ourselves have changed. The way we do things and deal with things have changed.

And the gap causes conflict and dissatisfaction. But this gap is made up of so many many things that may have happened in the past, and making one wonder how to fill it up.

Most of the time, it is easier to just ignore it and move on.
After all, we can just persist in staying with the current unpleasant moment.

Then, the problem is not solved or resolved. that unpleasant moment just get frozen, and goes into the formation of this iceberg.

I am facing this ice berg. and wondering.
I can light set it afire, and burn all the past away. But we will burn ourselves in the process.

I can continue freezing, till I reach a stage when I am even more numbed about it.
It feels like it is too much to get past... and yet too tiring for one to deal with it.

And so, we let the iceberg continue drifting....

有时, 不是你做得多, 我做得少, 就够了
没有在一起的意义, 或享受在一起的过程, 还是走不到很远
你我都达不到我们所要的
但, 什么都不做, 可以吗?
做的都是为你我之外的人, 忽列了我们.

可能我太笨, 不能把你所做的, 看成爱的体现.





Saturday, June 16, 2007

保恩三步曲

Momo has returned to our house again.
And as I stayed at home today, with the 2 boys, our dog and my husband, I realise this is what I have always envisaged as my happy family.

Some years back - my ideal family would consist of hubby and our dogs - 2 corgis.
But now, I think life is about as good as it gets.

The rings of en's excited screams and paddling feet as he tries to out-run momo or chase Momo..
The gurgles of Xuan as he lies on his mega mat, and me watching them .. it is a very nice feeling.

At night, with only me and hubby, and Momo at our feet, that is also a great feeling.

Complete - i think that is the word. I will still like to have another dog, maybe when the boys are older, but as it is, the dynamics are good. En has momo as a companion to keep him occupied and expands his scope of mischief, and Xuan watches the antics of them both.

Whatever that has transpired, what we have come to today is worth it.

******************************************************************

Back to my 3 recent discoveries of En:

1. I discovered another way in which En adores his dad. Food is En's only weakness.. when all else fails, he can get to him through food. Last weekend, I prepared him his snack, in hpes of instilling in him the concept of sharing, since his self-centredness has gotten from bad to worst. And I can't imagine how he will cope in childcare with the other kids.

So I taught him to share his snack with us. To feed me, feed papa and feed aunty mel.
Just now, as he was eating his snack, he took bit of the snack and went to find Papa to feed him. Upon dropping the cookie in Papa's mouth, he has this big grin and felt really pleased with himself.

Of all people, he only wanted to feed Papa. That says a lot.
And oh, he fed Momo too, with Momo eating the cookie off his fingers. Any talk of En being afraid of Momo is really ludicrous!


2. En loves chairs and TV. He love to sit in front of the TV and watch TV. That can keep him occupied for quite some time. BUt today, he took Xuan's BumBo seat - dragged it out from under the table and plong himself in it in front of the TV. Quite hilarious!

3. My little baby has grown up. He is feeding himself, and learning new phrases pretty fast.
in addition to car, he now knows buses, and in different colours, sport car, and when asked where i was, he would say "go work" and I have recently taught him to say "More Please" and he does that endearingly whenever he wants to snitch our food.

In preparation for his childcare, We started calling him Bao En, and asking him who is Bao En and teaching him to respond with "me". Of course, if the childcare starts to call him Ethan, I am not sure if he will answer at all!!

Friday, June 15, 2007

Thanks.. & Rights & Wrongs of Parenting..

Many thanks to everyone who have expressed either empathy, or encouragement upon reading my last blog, through the comments or through the SMSes.. it helps to know that I am not the only struggling mum in the universe... it is good to share and receive encouragement..

In any case, it has been a challenging week for us all.. and Hubby and I did a couple of stuff to de-stress..

Went for late night supper yesterday, and met J3 at a restaurant in Holland. Jay -who you may ask - the Superband group who made it to the top 3, remember? Well, the lead singer was wearing his signature hat - in green... hmmm..

Well, so both me and hubby were at various stages of working (him calling and me sms-ing) while trying to have our supper in peace.. one odd moment was when he was holding on to my hand, and talking to another gal on the phone.. kinda a strange feeling..

Today, we went to check out the childcare for En at Faith Montessori.. It was quite a nice place, and NJ's nephews go there as well, so En will have company. The person in charge was telling us that some parents have problem letting go of their kids are childcare -and we had to tell her that that was the least of the problem, the bigger problem for us was how En may traumatose the teachers & the other kids with his tantrums and rage. haha!

Thought of checking out Pat's school house.. but the thing is - it would be like me checking out Tan Yoong back when I was choosing THE wedding dress.. after Tan Yoong there is no way back as Tan Yoong easily beat the rest hands down, at least for my taste la.

So going to check out a big brand school such as Pat's, which came highly recommended by many, i am just concerned that we may just suffer cognitive dissonance after that and have problem reconciling the choice..

*********************************************************************

In any case, I want to talk about the rights and wrongs of parenting.. given our recent discovery.

Situation 1: Your kid was playing happily with the dog, with joyous sounds of barks and excited screams sounding, till suddenly your kid started crying. Why? Because the dog had, in its exuberance in chasing after the kid's feet, scared the kid a little.

What does the parent/ caregiver do in this case?

What I saw: The person telling the kid not to play with the dog.

Situation 2: It is known that kids pick up the bad stuff more readily than the good stuff from their peers.

So what does the parent/ care giver do?

What I knew: The person prevents the internalising of bad habits by preventing the kid from playing with other kids in the outdoors.

The above 2 examples are extremely bad parenting to me.
In both cases, the kid is not given a chance to learn from the situations.
In 1, the kid had an excellent chance to learn how to get along with the dog and how to defend and care for himself in face of a playful dog, but by asking the kid not to play with the dog, the kid will never learn this skill. How many times can the parent/ care taker prevent the kid from playing with the dog - all his life?

In 2, instead of teaching or discipling the kid, the easy way of preventing the kid from mixing with other kids is opted. In this case, what have we taught our kids? How can we be so totally protective that we can always prevent/ limit bad influences from influencing our kids?!

If we do not discipline, or teach, the kid will never learn.
Is this such a difficult concept to comprehend?!!

I know grandparents hate to discipline the kid, but is the solution then to limit the exposure of the kid?

In that case, why not just lock the kid up in a cage and preserve the kid. That way, you can be sue the kid will not be "tainted".

I am extremly upset. Because all these gestures of over-protectiveness are SO VERY wrong.

I have 2 boys. I want them to grow up into strong and independent young men who have a mind of their own, and imbued with an integrity strong enough that they will not be easily swayed by the environment.

I despise weakling. I despise men who cannot cope with problems or are so weak willed that they shrink away in fear in face of adversity.

I have absolutely no intention of bringing up my boys in a cloistered and stifling environment where their sense of adventure and exploration and curiosity are killed by over protectiveness.

I have always been rebellious. wanting to try everything at least once. And now i kinda know how i have become that way. When you try to shield the kids too much or have too many parameters for them, the only option you left for them is to rebel and break free from the cage you have cloistered them in.

I refuse to do that for my sons. A healthy dose of exploration, curiosity and dare devil adventurous spirit is good.

At 1.5 yrs, En has been up and down the stairs in our home on his own. Any care taker's nightmare. But kids are not stupid. They also possess a certain survival instinct. We have carefully watched En's attempts up and down the stairs. I do not stop him when he wants to try them. The only rule I have is that he should always let us know. Of course he does not always follow that, so we just keep an extra pair of eyes on him all the time. It is tiring, it is not easy. But eventually, it is better to let him figure out how to navigate the stairs and be confident that he can handle it then to think that he is gonna fall and not let him try at all.

I am SO frustrated. But unless I stay at home, I unfortunately don't have full control over how my kids should be brought up.

And i will hate for my boys to be wimps.
Even En as challenging as his temperament is, I always appreciate his strong sense of likes and dislikes (for people, for situation etc) - give me that anytime, than one who is un- engaged and uninvolved or uninterested in anything.

So right now. I Am thinking of quitting. Maybe. Just maybe!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Dis-stressing days..

It is all finally coming to an end. The closing of curtains. The End. Fin..

We have to look for a new nanny for my kids. My mum claimed she was too stressed out from looking after our kids. That the kids are causing her to pop pills, spoil her health etc etc... Makes me wonder what the 2 boys do at home to cause such distress to Grandma.. or simply Grandma is feeling the psychological stress of tending to kids..

I think she belongs to the group of people who can't take care of kids.
Some people are like that. But I wished she had been more upfront about it.
I thought she would be able to hang in there till En goes to childcare like 2 yrs old.. only about 3 more mths away or so..

But looking at the list of grievances faced, I think the end is here.

We looked for a new nanny in 3 days.
She is not the best, nor the most ideal..

But i give up, or maybe i give in.
To sub-standard care..

Then again, who says that they can't care better than my mum, who is after all, a novice at looking after kids.

These nannies are experts in their field.

I dunno what is the best scenario anymore.
I supposed I could consider doing part time to stay home with the kids...

I think, maybe, we stumbled upon the reason why Singaporeans do not give birth to kids, because there is no one to look after their kids.

Many of our parents come from the "Enlightened" era. Financial freedom, golden years are their theme songs. They do not live to look after our kids. How many can be like the dad of my ex classmate, who is super hands on with her new born baby? I really take my hat off HH's dad..

Hence, the rise of institutional childcare. Commercial entities dedicated to solve the modern mum's problem.

But like Von say, nothing beats actual grandparents' care.. But perhaps, En and Xuan are not very lucky babies, as their grandparents are not very committed to their care..

Then again, if we ourselves do not care for our kids, how can we expect our parents to do the job for us... Life is full of such tensions, such conflicts...

I refuse to feel bad. That I have chosen not to be a stay at home mum for the kids.
But do I really want En and Xuan to grow up amid strangers?
I do not have an answer.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Pinocchio - When was the last time you told a lie?


Hubby and I worked real late today. And i ended up not seeing Xuan for an entire day (when I woke up he fell asleep, when I came home, he was asleep too!)

Luckily En and I went for our morning walk this morning. Hubby was not in the best of moods as he felt bothered by work.

We went for late night grocery shopping, and I wanted a MacD Sundae to complete my lousy day.
I bought the Shrek monster band too.. planning to let En wear it tomorrow as I heard my mum tell me his monster stories - refusing to share toys, snatching toys from his cousin, pushing Xuan away from my mum.. sigh all the notti stuff surfacing again...

And then Hubby and I had the most amazing conversation..
It all started when he said the following - outta nowhere as we stepped outta McD and I was gorging on my ice cream:

Hubby: Maybe I should start collecting Pinocchio from all over the world?

Me: ???????
*and in my mind, i went from why Pinocchio...* to
Me: What lesson did you learn from Pinocchio? to
Me: When was the last time you told a lie? * getting excited - wondering whether he will tell me the truth, hekkhek hek*
Hubby: *thinks for a moment and sheepishly shrugs* We tell many lies everyday.. at work.. (and something I cannot blog here for political reasons)
Me: Wah! actually so did I - I just lied to someone about having things lined up and not sure if I am available in Friday... but then it is not exactly a lie, cuz I do have things lined up.. not exactly a lie!

We are all such fine liers, we even lie to ourselves.. hahaha!
And we do it like we breathe, like we talk, like its a natural thing to do, without any guilt.

Maybe - just maybe - there are certain degree of lying versus truthfulness.
I.e. Maybe - if the truth of the lie does not have any consequences on others, it is not considered a lie.

Example: I lied that I ate chicken instead of fish to Hubby - but because that lie does not have any impact of both of us, it is not really considered a lie.

However, if I had been out with a man, but lied that I was actually with a gal, and the truth of this lie will have dire consequences if Hubby knows about it, then this is a real lie..

Agree?! We all never think of ourselves as great liers, but we so are!

Now, then how to tell our kids not to lie? I read that we ought to behave in the way we want our kids to behave.

Hence, that means Hubby and I have to stop lying, whether the truth of the lies have impact on others or not. Or else, we will not come across as very convincing role models for our boys...

But think about it - when is the LAT TIME YOU TOLD A LIE? NOT so long ago isn't it?
Tell me if you have not told a lie in the past 7 days.

____________________________________________
Recruitment screener for respondents who are truthful:

Q: When was the last time you told a lie?

- last hour - 1
- within the last 12 hours - 2
- within the last 24 hours - 3
- 3 days ago - 4
- More than one week ago - 5

Terminate all the Pinocchios coding 1-4! Recruit those non-Pinocchios who coded 5! :)

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Missing My kids..

I have missed 2 days of walks with en already..
Tomorrow, I will have to go into office early again..

And i heard my boy dream about his grandma in his dreams..
sometimes I feel I am very distant to him..

Quite upsetting..
Somehow last time when we have to pick him back from babysitter's place, he seems to have a better sense of who his family are..

*warp*
And i don't even see Xuan when i get home..
Last time, en will always see us before he goes to sleep..
I think all these are bad.. but what can I do?

Sunday, June 03, 2007

TMD...FAT


TMD!!!! %#$@%^&**

Someone called me fat in my face over the weekend.. I think that Mr. L dun want to live aldy..

Then again, because we have not met for the longest time, and have much to catch up, I decided not to be too hard on him.

Still, TMD! I think our society not v forgiving to FAT women lor. And thank god I am fat cuz I contribute to the national job of having kids.After giving birth, ppl are FAT right? How many can be like the hollywood stars or like Zoe Tay with the Bikini Abs to show after childbirth? I need plastic surgery lor..

But, Imagine if I am just FAT - period. With no childbirth as excuse.. how?!!!

Later on, i rationalised that I must be darn thin previously for ppl to call me FAT in my face. And this is not the first time. And every time.. it kinds hurts..

I mean, I am 50 kg, and yet ppl call me fat.
And yet, our society went on and on about not being superficial, being concerned with the rising cases of bulima and anorexia. BUT, can we really help it if we are called FAT and are assessed based on our physical shape by the men around us?!!!!!! it planted the evil seed if my hubby will see me as FAT and hence, end up looking and preferring at other gals who are thin.. (hence, my point again that men ought to have more substance than just an airhead).. and hence leading to divorce la, la la... *imagination in overdrive*

Does every problem have a physical look problem attached to it at the end of the day????

Blooody hell.. I was a perfect S size gal.. now I am fluctuating in between depending on the brand and which country clothes i am buying. I don't think I am fat, but on occasions like these, I have lots of self doubts..

I think I betta go for more yoga and massage sessions in the coming months. TMD!

My 2 sons, you better dun be so shallow!

MY VERDICT - HOLIDAYS SANS KIDS...

Took leave on Friday, and was supposed to be away in Japan or in Bali..
But we ended up in Sentosa.. quite the anti-climax.

We brought our kids and all.. and well, packing for a 1 day trip seemed like packing for a year long trip, the number of baggage we had was unbelievable..

We got en a new bathing suit, thinking he will love the pool, turn out he wailed all the while when he was in the pool!!! The room was great, the family suite lived up to its name, it was huge, spacious and luxurious, but we re-configured the room to accommodate the kids.. turn it upside down in the end.. I pity the chamber staff.. sorriez..

I thought En will be excited by the fish in the Underwater world.. while he was quite fascinated with the stingrays.. he cried all the way, saying he is scared, on the round-about in the underwater world..

I can't remember what i enjoyed about the holiday..
Well, the only moments I kinds enjoyed was watching Soda Green performed at the 我报 concert.. and having drinks with friends at the Cafe Del Ma after that.. other than that..

I think come September when Hubby and I go London, I have decided NOT to bring kids along.. I want to go to the plays, the museums and of course the famous London clubs.. bringing the kids along will be quite a hassle..

And I have not even thought about the amount of excess luggage I have to pay yet!! *shudder* no no...

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