Acceptable Flaw Concept - for relationship and for parenting

I have recently been introduced to the concept of acceptable flaw at work.

Everyone is allowed an acceptable flaw, which is overlooked and accepted, which does not detract from his/ her overall performance at work. It is a flaw, nonetheless, except that the other strengths of the worker overrride this flaw, and this flaw then became an acceptable flaw.

I thought it made quite a lot of sense.

So when i today sat and pondered about my state of current affairs at home, I started to wonder if this concept is applicable at home.

Perhaps, the recent saga with hubby can be viewed in this light.
And perhaps, all along, he is more savvy of this concept than I am..
And I am beginning to think that this concept is vital to the balance of a relationship.

Relationship experts have always cautioned that we should pick our fights and always focus on the positives of our partners, and recognise the negatives.

What this Acceptable Flaw concept adds to the above is that once we start to see our partners' weakness/ less desirable traits as part of their acceptable flaws (hopefully, there are not too many of them), then the relationship can exist in harmony.

For instance:

Hubby: Absent-mindedness - an acceptable flaw
Wife: Grouchiness in the morning before breakfast - an acceptable flaw
Hubby: A TV freak - an acceptable flaw
Wife: A compulsive control freak -an acceptable flaw

If we start reminding ourselves that there are threshold of acceptance and tolerance, and think deeply if things that made us unhappy fall within the scope of acceptable flaw, we will be happier.

I am not saying everyone is untitled to a long list of acceptable flaw, cuz that will defeat the purpose. But everyone of us is entitled to a few acceptable flaws, these little weaknesses that characterise us and we are helpless to change.

We accept these flaws and these flaws do not override the overall attractiveness/ strengths of a person. It is important to see and recognise that. Cuz no one is perfect.

I think this concept is applicable to parenting too.
Kids are entitled to acceptable flaws.

This should curb the compulsive urge to correct and discipline them all the time.
At present, En's stubborn-ness is an acceptable flaw. It is not something that we necessary agree with, but it is a vital part of his character and instead of picking and focusing on that, we ca channel our energy to other aspects of him which may require our attention.

So, I think this is a really great idea.
At work, we all have our acceptable flaw, e.g. I am less of a numbers person but my sensitivity to people and things more than make up for my lack of sharpness when I looks at tables and tables of numbers in my trade.

As a partner, I have quite a number of acceptable flaws, but so long as we know the acceptable flaws of each other, and that hubby will not turn to other woman because of these acceptable flaws, it makes the relationship more resilient.

As a mum, I allow for acceptable flaws in my kids, and focus on reinforcing the positive aspects of his character formation, and it enables us to build our relationship on the positives rather than to dwell on the negatives, thereby strengthening their positive areas to override the negative aspects.

I hope this thinking throws new light in your life too, as it did mine.