Anyway, I been travelling last week, hence, been feeling ultra tired, and possibly the reason for my short fuse too.
I gonna travel again this Friday. and will only be back on Saturday. Darn. burn my weekend.
Dun think the boys miss me much when I am away.
En, these days, is very good at saying, very matter of factly, when you ask him where Mummy is - "Go work".
Daddy goes work, mummy goes work. Momo goes "walk walk". Di-Di *he makes snoring sounds* to express Xuan Xuan sleeping. He knows everyone's routine well.
So when I am not around, I "goes work".
I should be glad that he is coping so well.. without me.
but then, i just wish he misses me more. Maybe that is what soulmates and non soulmates are all about. He is hubby's soulmate. So even when Hubby is in SG, he clings on to him like there is no tomorrow.
I is not his soulmate, so even when I am far far away, he seems unperturbed.
Hubby and I are not soulmates, according to the horoscope.
Been back to the problem of looking for a baby sitter.
Still looking...
Outta desperation, we went to interview this nanny who has a mentally slow kid.
While I am open and all, I still find the encounter a bit uneasy and uncomfortable.
The gal is quite grown up, at least 15-16 yrs old.
She sits on the floor, carefully observing us when we went into the house.
The nanny was a cheerful "lao lian" - the karaoke system in her house and the patent flashy shoes on the shoe racks outside her house gave her away (and sorry, the patent shoes dun look new hor, i doubt she bought them cuz patent shoes are so in now lor, you know what i mean, she is probably one of those blink blink queen). Oh, and of course, trust my in home observation skill to play a huge role in such cases.
anyway, then the gal started calling out "jie jie-why!" she yelled.
I don't know what to answer, so i kept quiet.
She kept repeating it till I had to say, "hello, why what?"
Then she inched closer to where I sat and started touching my skirt.
Me really real scared lor.
I am just not comfortable around her. and I abhor this weakness in me.
It is a weakness. It means my compassion does not override the social prejudices that are insidiously ingrained in me.
I heard she was not born this way, she became this way after a high fever.
and i do feel for her.
And then I told ms. nomad that i realise the POWER OF MONEY.
I noticed in the past that kids with Down's who are from the more well to do family seem to cope better and develop better. Probably cuz the parents are able to afford all those enrichment things/ the means to bring them out to socialise them and exposure them etc.
This nanny told me she can't go out because of her gal - if I read correctly in between the lines, she probably never brings her anywhere and seeking help to improve her gal's condition is probably beyond her affordability.
So i have come to the conclusion that - say what you want, but end of the day, money buys a lot in this world.
If the bad really happens, at least money can help ease the situation somewhat, and in this case, probably, offering this girl a better quality of life.
Then again, no one says that life is fair - so get a grip.
We just have to do our best.
And so the search for a good nanny continues.
But with En's supernanny as benchmark, I think everyone we meet so far falls short to some extent.
Anyway, here are some photos - i just got my camera cable back, so I can upload photos again! hooray!
Oh, i heard someone say that my son is cute - "the older one" - see, our society is so not forgiving lor, even babies are not spared. If you are born with a kawaii face, you are already 1 step ahead. From birth, xuan been compared to his more cute looking kor-kor - even the nurses at the hospital said that kor kor is more handsome... Life is unfair .. but Xuan Xuan is my baby shrek.. who knows one day he may marry a princess.. right?!
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