Baby En Exclusive...

These days, hubby and I seem to have turn into somewhat of photography freaks.. We seem to always be snapping away and as I am trying to avoid using "his" photos in my blog, I ended up taking my fair share...

So here is an exclusive on En, when we went shopping at Vivocity and Haborfront..yes, i know I am in confinement, but really, being cooped up just drive me nuts, and I am hale and well, a bit lacking in sleep but overall more calm and zen than the first pregnancy, so some time out is good for me, so I say..

When I first spotted him on these moving machines, my heart stopped. For one, hubby hated Barney for some reason, and had avoided exposing En to any of the Barney toys and peripherals so far.. although I see no harm in the fat purple monster. For another, I don't want to be one of the parents with a kid in tow and can't shop without having to stop at every of these machines in the shopping malls..

Thanks goodness my mum knows me well and had only deposited En at the machine, without slotting in any coins.. Still I think it will only be a matter of time before this little boy knows the full appeal of these machines.. Until then, perhaps I should start saving my one dollar coins.. But didn't we use to have such rides for only 20cents? Are any more of such 20 cent rides? You mean the inflation has been a startling 500%?

Happy New Year?

Another year is almost gone.. and usually, I am full of anticipation and excitement for the year end as the holidays and festivities set the excitement cells in me tingling..

But since the babies came, the parties/ gatherings do become lesser and less exciting.. and this year has to be the worst, as I am in confinement.. kinda like coped up with the babies.. esp. cuz of the breastfeeding, which I felt was very restraining and confining ... kinda like chained to the baby if you know what i mean..

I almost did not feel that today is the second last day to 2006.. it seems like I will just float hazily into the new year.. Then again, can we safely say we will have a Happy New Year, if we do not welcome the new year with a big bang? i dunno..

Can we say we have put the past year behind us, ready for a fresh start, if we do not have something/ and event to mark it as a milestone?

If I just float into the new year, it seems such a continuum without an end and hence, without a beginning, can it still be considered a new year?

Such thoughts seem to keep revolving around my head and it can get depressing.. 2 days to go and i still do not have any idea how I am gonna welcome the new year and if it will be a happy new year.. sigh..

Well, the only consolation is we bought a miniature TV for our bedroom, so I can watch the final episode of 冲上云霄 on 1 Jan 2007, a show which I have missed for like the last 2 weeks, can that count as something to look forward to for 2007?

Tell me how you intend to spend NEW YEAR, and I wish you all happiness in the New Year...

Gifting is an Art...

Thanks to generous friends and company, its kinda fun and exciting opening the door and seeing the hampers/ flowers sent our way... also thanks to Baby Xuan I guess... And these days, baby hampers seem to be the in thing, such as the one Ms. Zhu got for Xuan - quite a surprisingly lovely one, with all sorts of useful baby stuff in there, from diaper bag to changing mat to grooming set etc etc.. I thought we have most of the stuff cuz of En, but new baby stuff still excite me no end.. and as I was telling Ms. Zhu, her gift made Baby Xuan less of a hand me down baby..

I always feel that gifting is an art, and I find it acutely so when recently, hubby and I did our round of extensive kids' gift shopping.. It is tough sometimes to juggle the "surprise element" and the "pocket"..

Upon Baby's full month, we will need to return the favors and share the joy with friends and relatives, and I am once again, plowing though catalogue for Baby's one month gift.. For en's we ordered some nice boxes from One-Joy.Com for some special people, and it is only when I am looking back that we realised that we have forgotten to take a photo of the gifts..

People are also asking me what they should get for Xuan - I really wonder too.. cuz of En, we don't really lack anything, though i always thought tat nice gifts are usually stuff that one will not buy for oneself...

But having said that, we really love the "traditional" chicken of essence and Mammy Pokos that Dylan n family and Ms. Normad got us, it really saved us the trouble of stocking up on diapers! Such practical gifts do help, and since I am the mum who will spend to indulge in my own kids (was just reading this baby book on the age appropriate types of toys for babies, and realise that En owns almost all the list of types of toys up till 15 months already).. and because I have always been an excellent gifter - at least I really think so and hubby had so far, never complain of the gifts he received except for the price tags maybe haha!

Yummy Delights...

Now I remembered why I did not seem to lose any weight during my confinement period, thanks to Ling - Jie (our confinement lady)'s fabulous cooking..hubby and me have been having yummy meals everyday and we look forward to meal times..

Not only are the food tasty, the variety is fabulous, from fried wantan to lor- meat and eggs, and nice green vegs, with nutritious soups for every meal.. so much so that I have to consciously cut down on my carbo intake, but carp diem too, I must savour the delicious home cooked food while I can.. dun think i will get to eat such yummy delights unless I am prepared to go through another pregnancy.. so enjoy I must... !!

Reality Check...

Recently when Xuan was admitted to KK hospital, I experienced a Reality Check...

I was assigned to breastfeed Xuan at one of the wards in the Women's maternity wing.. and the starkness of the ward shocked me.. NO aircon, no TV, no phone.. just the bed and the bare essentials... Even the toilet was some distance away..

I had to check with husband - there are some of us who deliver babies in such wards? I thought back to my double bed, aircon with TV ward and felt a bit ashamed for complaining about my neighbour who snored (for En's delivery) or the inconsiderate staff who kept forgetting to switch off my lights when they exit the room..

Sometimes, I think too "present" in our own situation may distance us from reality.. e.g. hanging out with friends of common background, working in power offices where one's peers tend to be of the same social status or better...

We tend to forget that there are many who live without the little luxuries that we have taken for granted sometimes. And each time i experience such reality check, I vow to count my little blessing and not be such a bitch sometimes - when I should really 惜福 and appreciate what I have been blessed..

Just like the visit that Hubby and I made to see the MP, 2 of us really feel like sore thumbs sticking out.. there are so many others who have bread and butter issues to resolve, such as PUB bills, family in dire state etc..

Sometimes being too caught in the present may make us oblivious to the wider world out there..
It is not a issue of superiority, just that when the going gets tough for us, besides wallowing in our misery, perhaps we should open our minds wider and have a real-ity check...

Priceless

The look of contentment on Baby Xuan - Priceless...

So far, Xuan has seemed quite different from En.. he is a quieter baby in comparison, very likeable in his quiet little ways... it is a rare sight to see him open his eyes, most of the time, he does most activities with eyes shut...

We are still trying to ascertain who he looks like, and no matter how we look, and the photos also gave us no clue..

Well, maybe he is just an unique baby.. and perhaps it is the breastfeeding, I spent more time feeding him this round, perhaps it is also the way some had compared him to En, well, a nurse at hospital actually exclaimed when he saw En and Xuan - "yo, your brother (En) is more handsome looking than you (Xuan)!" . Gosh! But I do feel a bit more protective over Xuan, maybe also cuz he seems smaller than En when En was just a new born.. :)

Total Breastfeeding and Jaundice

So I promised to follow up on breastfeeding and its "perils" with regard to jaundice.. It is a fact that breastmilk wins formula milk hands down, no doubt about that.. and when you are given lessons in how to breastfeed, or plow through the breastfeeding literature, they will all tell you TOTAL breastfeeding is the way to go - i.e. do not give the newborn baby any supplementary feeds of formula milk, the little (2.5ml or so of colostrum before the breastmilk comes in will be sufficient for your baby)..

And lacticians will also warn you about the perils of feeding formula milk in a bottle and their adverse impact on your efforts to breastfeed, e.g. baby's refusal to suckle after that, nipple confusion, not enough milk supply etc etc - all the bad stuff which make you feel that if you so much as give 1 feed of formulae milk, your effort at breastfeeding will go down the drain....

So many new mums will end up like i did the 1st time, refuse to give the baby any formulae or water.. for most cases, the milk does and will come in eventually and the baby thrives, babies do and can survive on the colostrum for a few days, provided the mum feed really 6-8 times a day to stimulate the release of the colostrum, i.e. mum probably only get to sleep for no more than 2 hrs each night..

However, all the ang moh books on breastfeeding forgot about the very Asian condition of jaundice, or rather, they seemed to have missed the situation where the baby has jaundice and is in need of fluids to flush out or reduce the bilirubins (the thing that causes jaundice). So for En, he ended up with jaundice level of 480, which was diagnosed as potentially fatally harmful to his brain development, and made us worried and guilty like hell the last time.. And it did not help that a doctor suggested blood transfusion as the solution, i.e. change all the blood in the baby as the quickest way to get rid of the bilirubin... duh, how can a frail 5day old baby go through a blood transfusion..

And upon that we realised that babies with jaundice need a lot of fluids to help rid of the jaundice.. yet this runs contrary to the edict of total breastfeeding.. for it is true that once baby is supplemented with formula feed, it is tough for the mum to generate as much breastmilk to catch up with the baby's intake.. so we need to be moderate in our approach too

When we admitted En into the hospital the last time, we got an all round scolding from the nurses in the neo-natal ward (bet they were not on good terms with the lacticians who were the evanagelists of total breastfeeding).. one nurse told me point blank - "the breastfeeding books are written by Ang mohs, their bodies and ours are different right?" Righttt..when i went for breastfeeding class, all the foreign ladies already had their milk in on the second day of birth, and we Chinese struggle to produce even colostrum lor...

So this time round with Xuan, we saw 2 incidents which validated our experience.. my next bed neighbour is an older couple with us with their first born, and they were totally enchanted by the kid.. and mum was quite pro breastfeeding so as to give the best to the kid, but i overheard that their baby also has jaundice.. so got NJ to have a man-to-man talk with the daddy to be moderate in their total breastfeeding..that their baby may need the fluid if the milk has not come in and if the jaundice seems really bad.. NJ even taught him how to test for jaundice.. the older man must be wondering whether kiddo NJ's advise can be trusted..

Then when Xuan was admitted to hospital for jaundice (even with supplements of formula already, his jaundice level still kept increasing), NJ saw another couple whose baby was also down with critical jaundice and even had blood in the stools, and all because the wife was also on total breastfeeding without any supplements at all.. so the wife was crying, probably full of guilt, her mum was scolding all the way, nagging about why she did not feed milk or water and the dad was at a loss.. NJ could totally emphathise as that was what happened to us the first time round, so plucky NJ actually went to tell the mum not to scold the daughter anymore.. (wow!) and spoke to the dad about managing expectations of breastfeeding with the jaundice condition..

I think being 2nd time parents did give us an advantage even though we look quite young compared to the other couples we saw in the hospital.. and given our experience, NJ also had the courage to speak up and advise these "newbies" to avoid the same pitfall as we did.. we are not saying dun breastfeed, but to assess the condition of the baby esp. with regard to jaundice..

Many said most Asian babies have jaundice and it is not a critical illness, that is also true, but not so when you are total breastfeeding esp. when the fluid provided is not enough to flush out the jaundice... after all we also learnt through experience that jaundice can cause brain damage if it climbs too high, how come no one warned us of that before? Everyone speaks of jaundice as if it was a minor condition, so when we told frens that baby was admitted for jaundice, and some said its nothing to be worried about.. well, wait till they are parents I guess.. :)

Missing Bao En - Here's some action!

Never say that I favour any kid over another.. i dunno but i dun think I will be the kind who will show any favoritism overtly.. I say overtly cuz I think covertly, every parent will bear slightly different feelings towards each different child, as each child will relate to his/ her parent in a different way..

But in any case, enough of Xuan for a while, for those who are wondering what happens to En.. he is fine and jolly, many tads naughtier, and has started playing with Momo...



Here's a video clip of him and Momo, one of the best clips we have taken this year we felt.. as it captures En's feelings well - he is enthralled by the dog but yet at the same time cautiously prudent of Momo...

Towards his baby brother, En greeted him on the second day with giggles and grins, a good sign for a start althought hubby wonders if En merely treats Xuan as a toy, or rather, his toy heehee.. Well, we did what many advised, which was to give to En a gift from Xuan, and En seems to be fine with that.. En pro-actively tries to touch Xuan and always smiles at him..

He even knows the term "弟弟" refers to Xuan, and when I am in the room feeding Xuan, he keeps toddling in just to see him and will giggle.. I guess En may be possessive sometimes, esp. with his favourite daddy, but it may not graduate to the feeling of jealousy... by the time he is old enough to recognise that emotion, they would have been chummy playmates for some time.. this I hope..

Deja-Vu... & the McDonald Family Room in KK

The arrival of Xuan is like the Return to the Birth of En..

Everything is so uncannily the same, and well, to me, I see it as a good sign, after all En has been healthy, cheeky and quite cute so far.. and when things go well, I like to keep them consistent.. Just like I have chosen to have Xuan delivered by the same gynae, even though she only delivers in mt E, and there are other hospitals that are more affordable.. I have chosen the same confinement lady, and even the same massage lady!! And Xuan is induced just like En, and even the midwife delivering the babies are the same!! How lucky! Then again the birth process is also the same, the epidural, the wait.. though Xuan is much shorter, and then the few pushes needed to deliver the babies and all done including the stitching in less than half an hour.. we are indeed an efficient team - the midwife, Dr. Yeoh and me!!

But I felt the acute sense of deja vu when Xuan has to be admitted to hospital for jaundice (again same as En, except this time, Xuan's jaundice is much lower and less scary than En's as I have taken a more moderate approach to TOTAL breastfeeding - more on that the next time)..

En was admitted or jaundice on a public holiday and I remembered doctors coming in to examine the babies wearing their casual wear.. this time round, on Christmas day, Xuan was also admitted to KK for jaundice and we again spent another public holiday in the ward..

The difference this time round is we get to stay in with the baby, and we stayed in a hotel- hostel like Ronald McDonald Family Room in the hospital, I must say the facilities were impressive and comprehensive, from the microwave and utensils in the kitchen to computers and books in the hallway, and the room is really decent, as hubby said, it is even better than some of the hotels we stayed before in Europe!!

And the cost is the best part- a mere $45 plus for a night.. so I spent the public holiday feeding Baby Xuan every 3 hours, of course the big diff is I do not get to see En much.. sigh.. these days, I get the sense that En has grown suddenly by a lot when i see him, its like a sudden growth spurt or something..

My X'Mas Presents...

Today is Noel Day - or so I am told, Noel means Christmas in french.. that is why we named Bao Xuan so, in line with the festivities.

Christmas has always been an exiting time for me.. Well, I agreed to marry hubby on Christmas Day some 5 years? ago.. and this year, Baby Xuan came around the Christmas period.. quite a nice present for us all..

We just had family X'mas dinner yesterday, an odd mix of food - sausages and baked potatoes, fried chicken, veg and confinement food of kidney and pork, hahaha... then there's the fruit cocktail which i can't have much of.. still it was a peaceful dinner with feeding both En and Momo bits and pieces of what we eat..

Then another of my Christmas presents arrived - Ling Jie - the confinement lady. She finally managed to catch a bus out of her flooded hometown in Malaysia, its really "Ling - jie to the Rescue", as we realise that even with 2 parents, and experienced and recent parents at that, me and hubby were struggling to manage Xuan through his first night of frequent poos and feeds!

When Ling Jie took over Baby Xuan, immediately he looked less scuffy, and much tidier and cuter.. Somehow, when we dressed him and cleaned him ourselves, he did not look as "Smart" as when Ling Jie does it.. well, gotta hand it to the Pros, they are not professional confinement aunties for nothing i guess...

Then of course, we get our usual X'mas gifts to be unwrapped from beneath the X'mas tree.. Hubby did manage to surprise me this year with the big red bauble.. I am impressed... although it is a replica nonetheless of one of Faberge's eggs (as if anyone can afford the real one, the last we saw the real thing years back were in the Arts Musuem where some precious prices and works of arts of Faberge were on display), it is not simply an ornamental jewelery, it really has that secret compartment which opens into something else..

It is intriguing enough to enthrall me, and fire my imagination, and i spent quite some time trying to open the secret compartment.. Well for those that do not know much about Faberge, some tidbits on him - he is the infamous artist who was commissioned by the Russian royalty to create jewellery pieces/ ornanments for the royal family. The Faberge eggs are renowned for the secret compartments that open to reveal another hidden surprise... many of his eggs open up into another egg or another compartment where another, or the real gift is hidden. And the interesting, titillating part - for me - at least - it was said that only the Czar/ the one who commissioned the work and Faberge, and of course the recipient, knew about the secret compartment and what is hidden in the secret compartment, the rest of those who worked on the pieces were apparently killed to preserve the secret.. interesting?! haha!

Baby Xuan, Our Noel

For once, I am slower in my updates compared to Hubby's blog (Fatherhoot, Inc)... Just too tired from the lack of sleep to do anything but veg out and sleep..

Surprisingly, the labour is easy.. maybe cuz I am a second time mum, but once again, I swear by being induced, it is more planned, no mad worries of creating a scene with water bag bursting in office, i am able to ensure I am well pain -insulated with epidural administered before the heavy contractions come, and overall, it gives me lots of peace of mind knowing everyone is expecting the arrival of Baby Xuan on 21 Dec...

The labour is short, and I dun have to push more than 3 times before baby is out.. so for those who ask how does labour feel etc, i frankly am not a representative sample, cuz i dun feel much pain- numbed all the way, which probably allowed me to focus on pushing out the baby, and I really dunnno what it means to have arduous labour pains..

Then the tough part begin - for me, the breastfeeding, the worry over whether he is getting enough hydration.. etc... well, in comparison, labour is soo easy!!

Again, being the typical Aqarius, I believe in signs and fate.. when we stepped into the labour ward and was welcomed by the same Hong Kong midwife Ms. Cheung, I know we are in good hands, well at least she is a familiar face and bantering with her did help to put me at ease in an, otherwise, sterile and clinical environment. And thanks to her, she stayed past her shift to see to Baby Xuan being delivered..

While the labour hours are short, I am still bored enough to wonder about re-naming Xuan - inspiration from Class 95 (yes, you get to listen to radio, watch HBO movies in the delivery suite), which is again another sign that 21 Dec is the day for delivering Xuan, as Glenn and the Flying Dutchman were sharing the list of Top 5 names for Boys and girls..

Given the festivities, I wondered aloud if we should name our Baby Santa - again true to my eccentric Aquarian streak, after all it is an unique and apt name for the baby.. guess hubby did not have the guts to make baby too different, so he suggested Noel, which I took an instant liking to too..

I just felt Edric is too serious a name for our bundle of joy at Christmas - and anyway, Xuan will be a Sagittarius, not a Capricorn, so may not have that leadership streak as per the sign.. something more jovial will fit our free spirited Sagittarius I thought - yeah, a name like Santa will indeed be very free spirited!

So here is a first look at Noel Yap Bao Xuan - more to come later, now its feeding time again for Xuan - yes its back to that routine for those who know.. Merry Christmas!!

Off to Birth... MeRRY Christmas! Ho Ho Ho!

By the time some of you read this, I am probably off to the delivery suite or in the delivery suite or delivering or have delivered on 21 Dec...

I will spend the pre-X'mas days in hospital, and hopefully be home for Christmas.. This reminds me of the song "I 'll be Home for Christmas" (check out the jukebox - I love Diana Krall's version!)

"I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me
Please, have snow and mistletoe
And presents by the tree"

Hopefully all will go well and smooth, and we will have Baby Bao Xuan home for Christmas too!

Merry Christmas to all, have a blessed, cozy, lovey, warm and fuzzy Christmas holidays this festive season!

Psst.. Can You Keep a Secret?

We recently discovered this place which is fast becoming one of our fav haunts.. and the fact that it is named "My Secret Garden" makes it all the more mysteriously enticing for us :)

Remember the earlier post where En seems to be seated alone in a spacious airy place enjoying his food, the secret is out, we popped by once again to our secret place for lunch, and even at a weekend brunch hour, the place is tranquilizingly quiet and serene... with its divine selection of desserts, it is a perfect place to chill out and chat..
Given that it has quite some arty - hip factor, and even a dress code for evenings, it seems like the last place to bring Baby En.. but when it is a lazy quiet afternoon, with very little crowd, En is free to roam the entire interior, nicely done up with paintings and the X'mas decor.. it is really an ideal place to chill out..

The best part for En is the swing outside, he enjoys swinging in there, hubby loves the outdoor furniture and setting, and for me, my personal fav is this private area which they can cordon off for private functions and events, nicely done up and good for small gatherings..

Of course, the food is delicious, and the desserts work quite well for me, esp. the Triple Choc - simply sinful!! Nice to know that we can still indulge our tastebuds in a nice chill out place with Baby in tow.. that made me feel somewhat normal again.. if you know what I mean.. ;)

P/S: Check out En En's tee (Click on photo to see enlarge view) - has his Chinese character on it with the English translation of "Blessing".. quite cute we thought!

Gggg..ood!!!!!

Baby En is quite a connoisseur of food, he seems to love all food, esp. our adult food. And he shows his appreciation in a rather distinct and in his usual cheeky way - whenever we asked him if the food tasted good, he will respond with the sign on the left - with his thumb and index finger in a sign much like the James Bond 007 symbol..

What he was trying to imitate was the usual thumbs up sign, but somehow, try as he might, he could not seem to keep his index finger down with the rest of his other fingers, so it ended up looking like the 007 sign or the gun sign.. (as his grandparents initially mistook it for).. Guess that is probably what is meant by babies developing gross motor skills, but not yet the fine motor skills...

Recently he added a twist to the sign by lifting his hand up and tilting his head slightly as in the picture and it was really quite hilarious to watch... and his consistency in response really tickled us no end!!

Wonder where En was in this picture? More on that the next time, but for sure it's a yummy eating place and En had just eaten some real yummy stuff..

En's Goodie Foodie Jingle
"Ask me how is my food
I will tell you it is GOOD
Just watch my hand and my sign
And feel tears of laughter flood your eyes!!"

Fashion Label Junkie

As a much hand me down baby, Baby En did not have much choice of clothes, then again, as a male baby, there is not much style to begin with so that kinda made matters worst..

Still, with the limited clothing choice, there are some general fashion rules I abide by -

1. NO glaringly mismatch colours, e.g. green and red will look too much like a X'mas tree...
2. Socks should match the outfit as much as possible - read same tone/ shade or ultimate contrast for effect
3. Clothes for going out and events should not have too much print - i.e. no mosaic of animal cartoons - too clownlike
4. No cartoon character - barney, snoopy and the likes of nemo should remain strictly sleepwear or homewear..

However, recently I discover THE RULE which will supercede ALL the other rules! i.e Not to be a fashion label junkie.. and this rule kinda apply to adults too.. I have always been aware of it in adults (the so called "fashion label whores" pardon the phase but fashionista will snub their noses and term them so)..

You know, those woman who will carry their Gucci and Prada + LV all in the same breathe.. tsk tsk, does not show much discernment in brands.. I mean as much as possible, try not to have too many labels on the usual petite 1.5/1.6 m frame of a body, and how many monikers do we need anyway to tell people we are plain-loaded, it is just bad taste and does not bespeak any discernment in brands.. tsk tsk tsk.. really the ultimate bad taste...

Then recently, i saw some kids who wear GAP tees, with Osh-kosh pants, and nike socks and Colette shoes all on the same tiny frame.. phew.. on that tiny frame of less than 1m, you have all these brands screaming out loud, if that is not a fashion label junkie in the making i dunno what is..

I have always think understated is the epitome of grace, and while i adore labels, who do not love the latest LV pochette seriously.. but having different brands splash all over each item is too much of an overkill - SERIOUSLY..

So Baby En will not be caught dead with more than 1 label at a time, and a subtle label at that pls.. that makes the matching more difficult i suppose.. if he wears a Zara top with a Esprit cargo pants, will that be too much of an junkie too? Hmmm...

Then again, mum will only have that much control over En..i once read a Baby Blue comic - about Zoe the little gal who wore polka dots tops with a flowered skirt, ad the parents had a hard time trying to decide if they want to applaud their kid's independence and choice or save their own face... I hope Baby En and Xuan inherit mum's subtlety in fashion taste.. but not the premium aspect though, pls...

Heartfelt THANKS To all In The past Year...

Time flies and it is now gonna only 10 days to X'mas!! End of the year is always a frenzy of gatherings, gifting, and general state of Dionysus (Ruler of Chaos)..

I have been thinking of sending out x'Mas cards but its such a chore collating addresses.. in this digital age, no one seems to ask and update the Address Book anymore, it sounds even anachronistic!

But upon reflection, there are quite a number of really significant people that deserve our heartfelt thanks, and each of you in all the little ways that have made my past year more tolerable, more enjoyable, and esp. bonus brownie points for those who have made me crack up and keep me sane given the upheavals... And since I am really quite amnesic, noting all these down and these special mentions for the Babies to remember will be important too..

Ala the thank you speech for the Star Awards - I want to thank (and not in order of merit)

- En's Nanny and family: For giving us peace of mind through the entire year and boundless love and attention to Baby En.. While your precocious gift for En's one was probably the most pricey item En received on that day, it was the simple message of "出路平安" that touched us the most.. as you have reminded us of the simplicity and importance of just being safe and sound..

- En's Godma and family: For your sound and pragmatic advise and perspective, and the reassurance that you will be there to discipline En if he ever turn too atrociously naughty..

- "Celest-al and family": For always cheering me on, for uncountable times during the past year, and I am sure your prayers must have helped us pull through some of the tougher moments.. I think you have to be one of my staunchest cheer-leader to date as you seem to emphatise with all my grouses and providing doses of calm and rational advise without adding salt to the wound..

- Nomad and Bak Chew team: Given that you folks are not even married nor have kids, your support and empathy deserve super brownie points.. at least you folks made me feel that I am not so alienated from ppl who are not married or married without kids.. and the insights shared by Ms. Nomad on parenting psychology helps! and common silly interest such as McDull sure enlivens my life...

- And to all the others who have occasionally put us in your thoughts, many thanks and all your little gestures, much appreciated!!

Star Awards...

In line with the recent furor over the Mediacorp's Annual Star Awards (ala Emmy's equivalent for those not familiar with the showbiz in S'pore), I think someone in our house deserves to be given the "Best Supporting Cast" award...

The recipient is no other than Momo, our corgi.. She shares some of the best traits that defines a good supporting actress..

She does not need to be in the limelight all the time, and is happy to play second fiddle, and she puts up her best showing in that capacity.. With baby en in the picture, it is inevitable that attention has always been showered on Baby En, but Momo seems happy to just be around..

Her patience and tolerance make us appreciate her more, and while it is tiring to manage her "hairy" business with the need to maintain a general state of cleanliness in the house, it will be unthinkable not to have her around..

Her smiles and bouts of manja-ness endear her closely to our hearts, and she seems to know that when Baby En goes to sleep, it will be her private time with us and will never fail to come lie by our feet every night... As a supporing cast, she also helps to highlight the main cast, no doubt she will be a fun companion for En in time to come, already she is showing the promise of playing and building the rapport with Baby En...

She probably shares some of the heart-ache felt by supporting actresses, esp. when she was one of the main cast previously.. now her presence is always felt by the side despite her best showing.. I hope this phase will pass when the babies are old enough to play with her properly.. so she can be as involved in our lives as she used to be...

Aqua-Boy..

En really seems fascinated with water fountains... he is always trying to touch and be in the action with the water fountains..

This shot was taken one night when we brought him to see the X'mas light up at Orchard Road, turned out that he was more impressed with all the water fountains along the way than the lights...

New beginning with Kids..

When we first had our flat, a friend of mine suggested that we should take pictures of the development of the home, tracing the transformation from brick and mortar to a home..By the time I heard her suggestion, it was a tad too late...

This time round, I decided to heed her suggestion and take some pictures of the house in its raw stage.. Sometimes, I think we have to believe in fate and how things sometimes just fall in place, about 2 yrs back, before we even have kids or planning for kids, we applied to queue for this place thinking it will be a great place for our home.. and a bonus if and when we have kids..

And now that we are pregnant with Bao-Xuan, and with En's toys beginning to overwhelm the living room, it is timely that some units are available (finally!) and we have a choice of 2 units to choose from..

Not only will En and Xuan have their cousins across the basketball court to play and fight with, the greens and vast nature space will be great for the babies to roam around.. Not only that, the additional space in the house will be great for the kids and momo as well..

I envisage a life much filled with nature and music, good for the little souls.. it is sometimes tough to get away from our concrete jungle, and hopefully this place will provide memorable childhood experiences for the 2 little boys.. Boys will be boys, I will be glad to have them expend their boundless energy outdoors, rather than driving me crazy within the 4 walls..

In a way, this symbolises a new beginning for us, by the time we moved in, I will have delivered Baby Xuan and celebrated 3 decades of living.. which also marks the end of my child-bearing days, unless someone knows a fool-proof formula for conceiving gals :), so all of us look forward to the move in Feb.. by then I will be just out of my confinement and trying to adjust to life of having 2 boys... geee... but we do hope the boys will have an enriching and FUN childhood as we can best provide for them within our means...

Baby En - The"Hogger"

Whether it's a result of En being the only baby for some time, or perhaps it is in his DNA make up that he is born with that possessive streak, but it has been observed that he is a real "hog-ger"..

When it comes to toys and books, once he has his eyes on it, he will not give in to other kids! No matter whether the items belongs to him or not, and the size of his "opponent" does not matter too, they can range from the similar size toddlers to an older 4 yr old cousin, he will still snatch, grab or cling on..

It is interesting to watch kids play together.. En only begun to play with other kids recently, before that he was more focussed on solo play.. but now that he is beginning to interact and play with other kids, he is also showing his possessive streak a lot more clearly.. in his kindermusik class, he will refuse to return the props to the teacher when they are done with the various instruments, and at his cousin's place, when we asked him to let go of toys, he will look pityful and then launch in full scale crying in an attempt to get his way.. so far, we have adopted the stance of always asking him to let go whenever we see him hogging and snatching..

But we had an interesting conversation with Aunty Zhongqiang one night while we observed En's hogging behavior, and it highlighted to me the stark difference between cultures and parenting.. While we Asian have always value harmony, non confrontation and giving in to the older siblings, aunty, who stayed and brought up her 2 girls in France provided the perspective that some degree of hogging - especially in the form of earning to stand up for oneself/ defense can be healthy.. that in france, the teachers may not like parents who complain that their kids' are 'bullied" by other kids who snatch their toys away etc..

From that view, being able to defend one's toys etc is valued for its independence and the ability to fend for oneself, definitely a more western form of thinking, which can be shocking or jarring for Chinese, who believe in respect for others, and value peace, and harmony..

Still i appreciated the perspective, because it also seems strange to keep asking En to let go, perhaps a balanced is needed through the concept of sharing and taking turns.. I won't want him to be resentful about always giving in.. to some extent, a strong will can be a good source of positive energy..

Anyway, now i can't help laughing when i think back to how my mum used to worry that En will be bullied when he goes play school because he looks so angelic.. HAHA! I anticipate more trouble in school cuz En is the trouble maker, tat is more like it!

21 Days to X'Mas!

Finally... We cleared out some of the existing furniture to prepare for my confinement - as we will need space to accommodate the confinement lady in addition to the maid..

And we set up the X'mas tree as well.. we never fail to set up the tree every year.. and this tree has been with us since we were married and moved into this place.. This will be the last year that this tree will be set up here, which makes it very special..

This has to be the year which we set it up the earliest, and likely to be the year which we will dismantle it the earliest too (definitely before CNY - w used to leave it almost to CNY before we took it down!!)

Last year, En was just a 2 month old baby when we set up the tree and took our family portrait together with Momo..
He was so fascinated with the sparkly lights.. This year, he already knows that this is called a Christmas tree and giggles when he hesitantly touched the prickly pines, and I have added a snowman and a santa claus ornament for the babies on the tree...

How time flies.. well,Ii was just saying to hubby, by the time we set up the X'mas tree next year, so much will have changed again... we will have moved to our new place, En will be running, yakking and full of mischief and we will have Bao Xuan much like Bao En now.. with some cognitive skills but still tottling and babbling...

Well.. nothing changes your life as fast as kids, that is my conclusion.. :)

P/S: Note how Momo looks so adoringly at the tree, think she is selecting the next ornament to destroy, every year she destroys some ornaments and every year I will replenish some.. Well i kinda like it that way, it is like a tradition to me now to add a few new items to update the decor of the tree, while retaining some of the old ones, esp. those that we bought for the 1st year..

Even the selection of ornaments had changed, it used to be romantic opera theme, now we have a rojak of the adult stuff and the cute-sy stuff for the babies.. Still i love the tree! And i am hoping to get a pic of Baby En standing by the tree.. Watch this space!

Baby En's Tantrums?

What always scares me when I am out shopping are hearing the incessant wails of babies/ kids, trying to wail and scream their way to getting what they want..

And since 1 yr of age, and after his weekly play class, Baby En really became more expressive in all aspects.. and unfortunately, expressively both for the good and the bad!

On the good side, he is a real cutie pie when he is affectionate and gay.. He is increasingly "playing back" all that we have communicated to him, roaring like a lion when he sees lion/ tiger images, learning to express fear such as "scare-scare" and even kissing us when we ask him to!

However, last week, when we brought him shopping for Baby Xuan's last minute stuff, En kicked up a huge fuss when we did not allow him to browse on his own at the toys department.. To me, this seems like a REALLY bad sign.. tantrums at such a tender age? Aren't these stuff supposed to come only when they reach 2 yrs old, hence, the term Terrible Twos?

He is barely 15 months and he is already trying to assert his will over us.. while a part of me fear for hubby's and my lives ahead, the other part of me can't help marveling at the rate that he is growing.. almost everyday he is showing us that he is developing and growing.. from new vocab to new antics and acts, and are quite a joy to share these moments with him..

And, we vow not to let him be the ill behaved spoilt brat in public, and I am keeping fingers crossed that we will have better control the next time we visit a toy section..

Baby En - The Shopper and "Bookie"?

We started Baby En on his shopping recently.. It started with letting him crawl around Carrefour, and this little boy was "stuck" at the rack that had all the toys for quite some time.. While we browsed for Baby Xuan's baby items, En was at the opposite ailse looking and touching the toys.. so much for self entertainment.

Then when we brought him to the bookstore, he was busy going through the various books, so much so that when it was time for his class, he refused to move away from the bookself..

And it seems like the little boy has developed quite a love for books, even if it is just flipping through the books again and again.. and he will also hand me the same book numerous times to be read.. well, there are only so many times I can spin different versions of stories for the same pictures..

Still we hope En will share our avid love for books, and I can't wait to get him his own bookshelf! :)

The Men In My Life - and the Precious Moments

It has been written in the stars that Scorpio is one of the soul mates of Cancer.. Well perhaps it is cuz of the stars, but perhaps it is also cuz of the efforts that Daddy has put in for Baby En since birth, even now, Daddy is the one who will bath Baby En since preggie mummy has given up lifting and carrying chubby En.

The 2 men are qute inseparable, and En just loves his dad to bits. And the weekly Kindmusik class now further strenghtened the bonding between the 2 of them, as dad spends an hour of quality time playing and learning with Baby En..

Sometimes it makes me wonder about my role as a mum... Perhaps its the stars, (the cerebrel air signs generally dun mess with the water signs), perhaps its cuz I am preggie with Baby Xuan, which makes keeping up with baby En's activities quite challenging sometimes.. after all the most exciting thing i can do with him is reading to him in funny voices.. duh, so exciting..

The first time I saw En giggling while whirling around in his Kindermusik class in the arms of his dad, I had to look away.. cuz of the tears pricking my eyes.. everytime I see the 2 men having such fun and special times on their own, i feel very touched.. it is much like watching a very finely executed movie that makes one feel a tad breathless, and I am privileged to be the audience of it...

Such moments should be captured, and always remembered - This joy that we have with our little babies, and the special tenderness we feel for them.. Years later, if and when we are faced with a rebellious punk, a defiant rebel or a recalcitrant mischief maker, and when we exchange heated words of anger and hurt, I want to be able to look back on such moments and remember the strong bond that we have built and shared. And to be able to see and remember the little innocent and wonderful baby...

Many Kudos to En's daddy, for being involved, committed and just always being there for En and us.. Parenting is really hard work, but it would have been harder without the equally strong commitment, time and devotion from the dad..

En-zart ?

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A KIA-SU MUM!

I am really not a kia-su mum.. some people wonder why i started looking for activity class for En and ended up signing him up with Kindermusik, unless I am THE kia-su mum..

I really am not.. En has been a very active baby since he learnt to crawl.. and we observed that he loves to watch other kids play when he is at the nanny's place - we often caught him watching in fascination when other children are playing, and burst out laughing for reasons only known to him..

Coupled with his seeming interest in music, so I thought to let him try the trail class and see if he would enjoy interacting with other kids.. it turned out that he enjoyed his trail class immensely.. esp. the props that were provided in the class.. to the extent that he was really reluctant to return them...

One direct benefit has been his increasing interest to walk, since he is the only baby in class that has yet to start walking on his own.. and the class also helps to expend his boundless energy as he crawls around and watches the other kids in fascination..

well, if he has not seem so animated or engaged in the class, it would have been a waste of money, but since he enjoys it and is engaged with the class, it seems really cruel to deprive him of the exposure.. I feel it all depends on the kid.. some kids seem less involved or engaged in class, but for me, so long as en has fun, it is money well spent... and when the fun stops, then there willl be less value in putting him through such classes.. until then, well daddy will still have to spend the weekly hour playing with him and the other kids in class! :)

It is not how much he can learn from the class, it is all about giving him a wider experience, especially those that he enjoys.. ! So I am NOT a kia-su mum!

En's Outing III - An Exploratory World

En had a real trooper day out at Sentosa again last weekend.. Grandparents went to stay at the new Siloso Beach Resort hotel, and baby En popped by to see what's happening at this brand new hotel..

It is a world of discovery for him as he crawled around the hotel room, and overlooking the scenic view offered by the glass windows..

And the little boy is fascinated with water fountains, and he loves to play with the gushing water with glee..

It is quite a joy to see him playing with the water hesitantly, and exploring his world in little touches and baby steps.. What a wonderful world it must be for him..

Baby En - the Ah Beng?

These days, as we see more facets of En's cheekiness and his blase responses to our repremands, both dad and mum are beginning to habour great fears that Baby En may turn out to be much more than we can handle..

At just 1 year of age, En has already started defying us, and displayed his many faces of being quite the "Ah beng" sometimes. And he is insistent on getting his way, but thankfully both mum and dad can be equally stubborn and firm in not letting him have his way all the time... Still, the battle of wills can be so exhausting..

His boundless energy has really made me wonder if I have enough energy to keep up with him and his antics.. Just the other day, En was engaged in a battle of wills with his cousin, refusing to let go of his cousin's toy and we had to sternly ask him to let go.. While we have won that battle, I suspect that the war is far from being over.. more of such tussles are sure to happen and I just worry that we won't win them that easily the next time!

We are definitely NOT looking forward to his Terrible Twos stage.. keeping all fingers and toes crossed that we can cope and manage!

Baby En's First Many Unassisted Steps...

happened on 16 Nov, at 27 College Green, quite unexpectedly!

Both Papa and mummy were sitting around and chatting when suddenly the little boy was in front of us, having taken 4-5 steps unassisted!

"AND WE FORGOT THE CAMERA!!" were both our first exclaimations.. We have always wondered when he will be taking his first baby steps! And until the last weekend when he attended his trial Kindermusik class (more on that next time), Baby En has not shown much interests in walking..

And knowing that boys tend to develop a tad slower than gals, we were not anticipating him walking any time soon..

And what a lovely surprise to see him tottling and tumbling! Since then, he has been walking both assisted and unassisted... it really would not be long before he will be all over the place on his own..

Meanwhile, we probaby have to get him another new pair of shoes as the little boy is already beginning to grow outta his size 3 size!!

Proprietary Mummy Skills

All along, my pregnancy food cravings have been quite a challenge for my hubby to fulfill, cuz I tend to crave for food that I have tasted overseas, like the roadside potatoes wedges we had in Vienna, or the galette in Britanny, the gelato in Venice, the tang yuan in Shanghai.. sometimes I wonder if its the food or that feeling..

Anyway, recently for once, my craving for the "siew mai" (chinese pork dumplings) can be fulfilled, but only those made by my mum... I have always loved my mum's cooking, it has a special quality about it that is hard to replicate... Years later, I still remember some of her signature dishes with fond memories.. and this is a special bond shared between my mum and I..and even now, I will ask her to specially cook those dishes for us..

That got me thinking, that I will want to have some proprietary skills that my kids relish, and for years later, whenever they return home, I will be able to do that for them, or they will always associate and remember me in relation to those fond moments..

Unfortunately, I am not a terrific cook.. i love baking, though i hardly find the time to do so.. Yet I have been toying with an idea recently, that i should start my own special blend of chocolate chip cookies .. Much like my hubby loves the cookies that his mum bakes.. so I will be able to bake that for them weekly or monthly.. and they will grow up loving and remembering those "cookie moments'...

Another skill that I have been thinking of has been the "piano moments", when we move, we will be able to bring along hubby's piano to our newhouse, and En has recently been fascinated with the piano at his cousin's place, and coupled with his enthusiasm for his weekly Kindermusik class, I think music may be a good bonding mode for 2 of us.. and I will be able to overcome my all time regret of being scared off music classes by the evil music teacher!!

So the chocloate chip cookies and piano classes shall form my proprietary Mummy skills that hopefully my kids will appreciate :) though I am still sourcing for the unique blend of chocolate cookie recipe.. all contributions welcomed!!

En Strapped In...

Way before we have Baby En, we always wonder when we saw one parent sitting at the back seat, accompanying their kids while the other parent drive.. and typically they are Singaporeans..

In contrast, the foreign familes which we observe hardly do this, both parents remain in the front seat while their kids remain at the back..

To me, the latter's way seems more wholesome, and perhaps, symbolic of the values they believe in.. that parents stay together, just like being seated together, instead of splitting up to focus on their kids.. It is inevitable that parents tend to be very kid focussed, and hence, will "give up" or trade off their spouse for their kid..

So we have decided when we have Baby En that we will train him from young to stay in his infant seat alone while both of us remain in the front seats. And must say we have been rather successful in training En to stay in his car seat since young.. Though as he grows older, sometimes he will wail incessantly to get our attention, but in general, he is quite a well behaved baby when strapped in..

We have already transitted him from his infant seat to his new car seat some time back in anticipation of Bao Xuan, and it works better for us as we can now see his funny expression facing forward now.. Then again, when we have 2 baby seats in the car next time, I really wonder what the 2 babies will do at the back.. hm...

Baby En - the Goldfish??

These days, bringing En out for dinner or lunch can be a real challenge, because we find a real Cookie Monster with us all the time..

Baby En really loves food, all kinds of food.. and it is amazing how his radar detects the "food" category, which makes him go "mum-mum-mum-mum".. His chant gets louder and louder if we ignore him.. which can be rather embarrassing for us .. And the way he clamours for food, sometimes, even trying to climb out of his baby seat to grab at our food, makes other diners wonder if we are the selfish parents who are relishing our food and not feeding our baby... When the reality is that Baby En already had his usual specially prepared lunch or dinner and is just greedy for more!!

So these days, we have to try to master the skill of feeding him bits of food to stop his chant, while at the same time eat our fill.. so much for being able to multi - task..

I used to hear a story about goldfishes, that they are such silly creatures that they will eat whatever you feed them.. They do not know when to stop and can eat till they bloat...

Momo, our dog, shares that trait.. we once brought her to a doggie X'mas party feast where she ate all the food that was given to her, till we had to stop her or her belly will burst!

Now I am wondering if Baby En is like that as well... he seems to keep wanting to eat, no matter how much we have fed him for lunch/ dinner. Sometimes I am afraid he will be like the goldfish - not knowing when to stop and eat till he has stomach problems!

Then again, for kids, this may be a phase - something I think I better enjoy, because most kids I observe, once they know the value of play, will trade play readily for food, anytime..

My future problem is more likely to be trying to coax En to eat during meal times... in any case, it will still means that the luxury of me enjoying a quiet peaceful meal seems out of reach for some years yet!! Sob Sob..

Introducing Yap Bao Xuan, Edric

Finally.. we have decided on the name for Baby 2, and even had a glimpse of his face and features at the recent scan..

Introducing Yap Bao - 3 Xuan-1, Edric, on the left, little brother of Baby En.. Well, after going thru the many "Baos" and fitting almost every word in the Chinese dictionary with the word "Bao", we concur that Bao Xuan is not too obiang a name, and quite meaningful.. It was a close and tough fight with other Baos, such as Bao Kai-3 and Bao Kun-1...

Xuan is typically associated with books and literacy, and in one of the dictionaries, Xuan also refers to having a charismatic quality.

Since baby is due to arrive in early Jan, he will be a Capricorn, a star sign typically associated with leadership and ambition, so we have also named him Edric, which means "Properous Ruler" in Gaelic.

At about the same time, 31 weeks, Baby En also showed us a glimpse of his facial features (scan on the right), and comparing the 2 scans, we find that Bao Xuan seems to have taken after En's features, except for the stubby chin... and perhaps not as smiley as En seems to look in his scan..

Now what's left is to think of a nickname for Bao Xuan..
From the beginning, we have called Bao En Baby En or En-En for short, which suits him fine..

Xuan Xuan, however, sounds a tad too girlish... though I have a good mind to call him Xiao Bao (little precious) !

Time flies so fast... We have about 8 more weeks to go before Bao Xuan will reveal himself..

As for whether I should re-vamp the blog, I am still thinking how to go about it, and how the "air-space" will be shared by the 2 brothers..

Feeling So Ashamed..

of myself. Just on Sunday, we went to the ever crowded Marina food court for simple dinner with En and my parents...

And 2 tables away from us, I saw a teenage boy on a wheelchair, and it was obvious that he had some disability which seems to prevent him from even lifting his head, nor move any parts of his body...

Yet, his expression was one of contentment and joy as he ate his dinner, and I saw his mum was painstakingly feeding him his dinner one mouthful at a time.. also with joy and at ease... The boy was well dressed for the outing, even with a watch on his hand. Other family members sat around the table, conversing with ease and well, very normally...

And as I watched, I was awashed in shame..

- Ashamed of those times when I have allowed myself to feel dis-spirited because I felt so alone in my pregnancy and for having a kid, which set me so apart and alienated from friends who are either single or married without kids
- Ashamed of those times when I face my own fears of how we can cope with bringing En out and the hassle it involves when bringing a kid out

As I watch the boy and his family, what seems so easy and at ease would not have come easy, yet these people are taking it in stride and moving on with their lives as normally and enjoyably as they can..

It made me re-think and reflect how we should just adapt to changes with courage and take on life-changing changes in stride.. That is what it means by moving on in life, if you care, come along for the ride, if not, each new change and experience bring their own little joy and satifaction too, if we can only face them with ease and courage.. and count all our little blessings..

I Hope You Dance, My Sons...

Someone recently asked me what are some of my hopes for my children.. What do I want for my kids.. Wow, its really quite a tough question to answer.. As parents, we tend to harbour too many hopes for our kids, and to simply put them into words can be so tough..

Then I remembered a song which I sent a friend when things were rocky for her, I wish for her to hang on to her strength, her faith and have hope.. And now looking back, this song "I Hope You Dance" By Lee Ann Womack describes all my hopes so aptly..

For for both my sons, it is just a simple hope - I hope you will both embrace life with courage and choose to dance to the joys that life offers ...Check out the song in En's JukeBox Ravs!

I Hope You Dance

by Lee Ann Womack

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty-handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance, I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'
Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'
Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance, I hope you dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion, always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years
And wonder, where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance, I hope you dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years
And wonder where those years have gone)

En's Outing Part II - Of Man and Dogs

We accomplished something 2 weeks ago, we brought Baby En and Momo out to the Dog-Run and McDonald's - SANS the helper!

It was not as bad as we thought...aside from En's incessant whining in his car seat during the journey, both En and Especially Momo were exceptionally well behaved...

En is quite well socialised with dogs, and he was not fearful even when the dogs barked at him.. Momo proved herself quite the nurturer.. when we placed her leash on the pram (with one of our hands on the leash still of course), she trotted along with the pram - no sudden lurches or speedy running, not even when she came across other dogs.. It was as if she knew...

It was a Joy watching En trying to grab momo's leash.... and when we let Momo free, she would still stay close by while Dad tried to get En to walk.. Momo would sit in front of En, as if protecting him from other dogs.. Momo is just such a sweet and sensitive dog.. She has always been a great dog, and now I see the potential of her as a great companion to my 2 boys..

At the McD, En kept asking for fries and ice cream - well the junkie mum fed bits of the fries and sips of the ice cream to satisfy the little junkie.. All in all, it was a good trip, and we ought to do that more often... To enhance this special bonding between Man and Dog.. 

En - The "Manja" King

Recently En acquired a favourite animal - THE TORTOISE.. He recognises the eyes of that tortise, he knows that green thing is The Tortoise, and he even knows how to hug The Tortoise...

And he does it very well indeed... He will look around for the object of his affection and put his side of the face onto the tortoise, hugging it..

Quite funny, if only he knows how to manja us this way too - more frequently.. :)

Baby En's First Balloon...

I have always wanted to buy En a helium balloon, and just as well that this balloon came along with Baby En's gift from Sharon and PH, and it kept En occupied for quite some time trying to catch the floating balloon...

Well, for one, it expanded his vocab - now he knows what is a balloon and I have been trying to get him to walk in order to grab the balloon.. yeah, incentive and bribery.. anything to help Baby En walk more steadily...

Baby En's Birthday Bash.. Remains of the Cake

The left was supposed to be Baby En's Birthday cake.. Well as there were soo many people that day, what we have are more like post-event pictures..

Next is what remains of the cake... well, not too sure whether En really enjoyed his birthday since he was crying and clingy most of the time with people milling around..

He was only back to his own self when the party winded down with only half of the party left.. think he really hates crowd and no matter how much socialising we did with him, he only likes intimate small crowd.. It is not so much strangers per se, its lots of strangers that he does not like.. haha.. but well... at least we enjoy the cake immensely.. it is indeed money well spent :)

Parenting - What does it really mean?

To quote my fav satirical playwright, Oscar Wilde,

"Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." It is a scary thought...

Recently I have been embroiled in several heated "debates" on what being a parent really means, and what it means to nurture and look after a child.. and what it means to be the primary care-giver of Baby En...

No doubt, the opinions out there are as varied as you can get.. but long before En came along, as I watch some of others' kids, and observed how some parents at work, I have already formed my own opinions of how I envisage my kids will be nurtured and taken care of.. but if I am wrong, will my kids love me less, will i sufffer their judgement, worst, can they forgive me?

Well, in my view, there are some marked differences in parenting style and beliefs.. and could be led by the generational difference or divide..

- The functional care -giver: those who look after the kids' physical growth needs, quite the basic care to ensure kids eat and grow well.. but less of the developmental and emotional bonding as they feel that schools and teachers and time will teach these "knowledge" to the kids..

Classic lines: "You better listen to what the teacher say in school huh, or I will cane you" or. ." Aiya, why your kid so skinny, mine is well taken care of, see so chubby"

- The Go by Book Nurturer - these new age parents lap up all the parenting books, internalise them and spit them out wholesale for the kids. They drive themselves nuts bending in every way to make sure all aspects of the kids are well taken care of (fr. the physical diet to the emotional and psychological aspects). As they are such gurus, they tend to insist child are brough up in their way...

Classic lines: "The book recommends no caning of my kid..." or "i practise XXXX's diet plan"

The thing is whichever style we are, there may not be right or wrong way about it.. every generational has the "in" parenting way..

The drill and cane were very much part and parcel of my generation when i was growing up.. comparing kids' size were a norm.. Today, no cane policy and an abundance of reasoning are the flavors of the day.. and comparing kids' emotional EQ is the competition amongst mums..

Assuming that is the case, then what happens when you have funtional primary care givers from the by-gone era? Can they be good primary care-givers for my kids and to equip them with values and skills for the world which my kids will grow up in?

I was told that the by gone era care givers do not mean any harm to the kid, that their motivation is also to love and develop the kids, albeit their manifestations are different from the modern parents..

Am I the child in Wilde's quote - i grow up loving my parents, when I have kids, I judge my parents.. and if they do not adopt my parenting style, I find it hard to forgive them.. Does it have to come to that? Is this not one of the many problems modern parents face..

How do we deal with the anchronistic manifestation of parenting from care-givers of the by-gone era? If we do not grant them the care-giver status, are we denying their rights to their grand children? If i give in and let them do the anachronistic form of parenting to my kids, am I compromising the well-being of the kids?

These mind-boggling questions continue to be mind boggling .. and the steamy debates seem destine to continue for quite some time .. after all.. there may not be an easy right or wrong answer to this, that i strongly suspect..

What's Your Best Feature?

A rare pic of Baby En sleeping - since I can't take pics of him sleeping in the night, the few rare sleeping pics were taken during the day & on days when he napped long and deeply enough..

Sleeping pics are good for looking at the baby En closely without interference - interference in the form of his roving eyes, his cheeky or frowning expressions.. so i feel they give a more representative feel of his face.. and if I want to assess what i think his best feature is - sleeping pics are the best..

And not sure how many of you will agree, but I love En's eyelashes best - they are dark and really long, enough to make many gals jealous, including me, and they fringe his eyes so nicely.. and the best thing abt eye lashes is that they are sooo Subtle, many told us how they love En's eyes and that they are his best feature.. but to me, it is the subtle quiet eye lashes that captivate me..

I also happen to think that men with long eye lashes are really sexy.. maybe En's future girlfriend ll think so too.. Don't ask where the lashes come from, yes, cuz both daddy and mummy have adequately long and dark lashes :) truly.. 

En in a Boxz...

The number of En's toys have grown such that it has warranted getting a HUGE box to keep them all.. well, it also serve to train him in digging for his choice of toys and hopefully, keeping his own toys..!!

Yet, before we place all his toys in them, I simply cannot resist placing him IN the box - hahaha! Quite a Good fit ya?! hekhek..