Baby En - The"Hogger"

Whether it's a result of En being the only baby for some time, or perhaps it is in his DNA make up that he is born with that possessive streak, but it has been observed that he is a real "hog-ger"..

When it comes to toys and books, once he has his eyes on it, he will not give in to other kids! No matter whether the items belongs to him or not, and the size of his "opponent" does not matter too, they can range from the similar size toddlers to an older 4 yr old cousin, he will still snatch, grab or cling on..

It is interesting to watch kids play together.. En only begun to play with other kids recently, before that he was more focussed on solo play.. but now that he is beginning to interact and play with other kids, he is also showing his possessive streak a lot more clearly.. in his kindermusik class, he will refuse to return the props to the teacher when they are done with the various instruments, and at his cousin's place, when we asked him to let go of toys, he will look pityful and then launch in full scale crying in an attempt to get his way.. so far, we have adopted the stance of always asking him to let go whenever we see him hogging and snatching..

But we had an interesting conversation with Aunty Zhongqiang one night while we observed En's hogging behavior, and it highlighted to me the stark difference between cultures and parenting.. While we Asian have always value harmony, non confrontation and giving in to the older siblings, aunty, who stayed and brought up her 2 girls in France provided the perspective that some degree of hogging - especially in the form of earning to stand up for oneself/ defense can be healthy.. that in france, the teachers may not like parents who complain that their kids' are 'bullied" by other kids who snatch their toys away etc..

From that view, being able to defend one's toys etc is valued for its independence and the ability to fend for oneself, definitely a more western form of thinking, which can be shocking or jarring for Chinese, who believe in respect for others, and value peace, and harmony..

Still i appreciated the perspective, because it also seems strange to keep asking En to let go, perhaps a balanced is needed through the concept of sharing and taking turns.. I won't want him to be resentful about always giving in.. to some extent, a strong will can be a good source of positive energy..

Anyway, now i can't help laughing when i think back to how my mum used to worry that En will be bullied when he goes play school because he looks so angelic.. HAHA! I anticipate more trouble in school cuz En is the trouble maker, tat is more like it!