Friday, March 20, 2009

A stressful week II

And so the saga continues..
I have rested for some time now in BJ, and feel slightly better today to continue.. 
Maybe it is the sunlight, maybe its cuz I have a good 5 hr sleep yesterday, at the expense of missing my pump at 5 am ($%^&@)

12 March

7am - Making the Move..

Piles of bags lying around..
Auntie and my bags to KL, Aunties' bag packed with Rui's playpen, Drypers (cuz the quality of economy diapers in China is questionable, so while we can get Mammy Poko for the nights and outings, the usual day use diapers are lacking ...), some clothes and cold wear from us and parents and parents in law..

My bag is filled with lactation supplements, 1 change of clothes, and pumps and bottles..

Rui, while going on a 2D1N trip, has like a cooler tub piled with ice and frozen BM, his bag of clothes, mittens, booties, bath time items, rocker for his day time naps, a cooler bag of freshly pumped BM, his book of feeds and poo with timings in them for Nanny's ref, and my list of cautions and notes for his G6PD condition, how to thaw BM and feed chilled BM (though nanny must know but I am taking extra pre-caution as I want to make sure the milk are served properly.. ), and a list of habits and no-no, like no 'Yaolan', not carrying for long, his noises at night which does not warrant much attention when he stretches etc..

And then we are ready to depart..

8:am - saying good bye to the Tods..

Xuan is easy enough.. hugs and kisses and he sems most happy/ oblivious..
En is a much trickier.. 
So i told him mummy is going to work, and Auntie is going home, and I will be back the next night, promising to call him from KL often.
It is a bit heart wrenching to hear him ask if I am going to China - but that I will have to deal with later..

 8:30 - 2:30 pm - Arriving in KL

So we dropped off Rui at the nanny, and checked in at the airport to fly to KL.
Interestingly, we met Michelle Chong and Adam Chen checking in behind us, and in the end, seated right behind us on Air Asia (think they are shooting an Air Asia Sponsored program), and right before getting off, we heard that they are also staying at Mid Valley Mall  - but at Bolovard hotel, the other hotel attached to the mall..

On the way and in between times slots, I pumped and throw my BM away (wastage, wastage, wastage), continue my calls with the tour agencies in both SG and MY to confirm tickets, visa etc and by the time, I arrived in KL, I was exhausted. 

But elated that things are going well, agent picked up auntie's passport, with an arrangement to meet at 530 pm the next day with an approved visa and air ticket for boarding.

For the rest of the day, I slept, pumped, ate and shopped..
Am glad we chose Mid Valley Mall, and to stay at Citatel, the mall is totally self sufficient, with baby and travel shops that meet all our needs, extensive eateries to choose from, and I even bought lactation supplements from GNC to stock up for my 1 mth in China.

And the best part is, we do not have to leave the hotel/ Mall!! Savings on time as we avoid the bad traffic jams in KL, and saving $$ on transport. Me feel so right abt the choice of stay!!

13 March

9am - 4pm

Continued the usual pump, and shop and eat routine, while making sure tickets and visas are cliche free..

5pm : Getting ready to depart

Auntie is all packed and ready for China, she picked up some bb items that China do not have or are of questionable quality and helped us bring them along. Her visa and ticket came, we paid for everything in cash, and got the nice cab uncle to pick us up to both the international airport for auntie and the domestic airport for me.. 

I am getting ready to return to SG with long list of packing items to pack for Rui and Myself to China. 

7 - 11pm

I sent auntie to KLIA to take her international flight, making sure she is checked in alright with a crew assistant to bring her to the boarding gate. I must say, in this aspect, the KLIA is efficient and great as the counter staff asked me if we require such a service before I even have to asked, when he saw that auntie is travelling alone, and I am trying to manage her documents and explained to her where the boarding gates are.

Then I hurriedly leave once auntie is in good hands to catch my domestic flight home.
By the time I arrived at Changi, I am quite exhausted, not to mention wth a day of erractic milk pumps which stressed me quite a bit mentally.

11:30 pm - Home sweet Home but dreading the leaving again.. Still have not figured out what to tell En for my long disappearance.. If he knows I go China with Rui without him, am real scared he will be upset and angry with us, since we made an earlier promise that once Rui is big enough to travel, we will bring him. Nj kept saying that we cannot tell him, as he will be heart broken... so it seems that white lie we must much as I hate it.. 

***********************************************************************

14 march - A day of Prep and Dread

8am - 1 pm: The rapid shopping mode..

Woke up bright and early, (without much sleep actually since Rui was waking up for his feeds and was a bit cranky..) to make sure I have mentallly run thru all the missing items and have them noted down to be purchased.

Have checked on the internet that all the shops I need can be located centrally at Jurong point, so i went there early to get started for a One Stop shop.

Came back home after getting most items to prepare for the major Packing..

12pm - 3 am

I packed like crazy in between my pumps..
Interviewed a potential Philippino maid in between since this is my last day and the agent was nice enough to try and arranged it. 

And in between this episode with En ensued..

8pm: Dealing with En

For some time now, En saw me putting things in and the tonnes of clothes piled on the sofa etc since he came back from his nanny's place (we deposited him there again, so we can all cope with the madness of packing).

He asked me where I am going, and I answered with Rui's milk bottles in my hands, that I am going to work and will be away for some time.

The very astute En, looked at the bottles in my hand, and asked 

"Why you bring that to work?" 
And i was stunned, and I said I am preparing things for Rui when I am away.

He seemed pacified, but it seemed more like he knew something was up and suspected that we are going to China without him.

I felt very torn, as I felt that if he had known I am going China without him, and he just accepted it without telling me, He would know I was lying to him. And I do not want to lie to him.

So I sms NJ that I will tell him some of the truth, even though it is still lying by omission, but there is some truth in it.

So I sat En down, and told him that I am bringing Rui to let Auntie look after.
Because Auntie can't stay in Singapore anymore, Auntie has to go and stay with Papa.
So I am bringing Rui to Auntie and after that I am back.

With this, it wouldn't seem like I am bringing Ru
i to China, to See Papa. But that Rui is going to Auntie. 

En is quite quick to piece the pieces together though, after hearing me out, he looked at me and asked if Rui and Auntie will sleep in Papa's bed, and that I will also sleep in Papa's Bed, and that Papa need to sleep somewhere else.

So, in the end, he still knows that Rui is going China, and will see Papa, but he figured that out himself. On our end, it is not for Rui to see Papa so much as Rui is going to see Auntie.

He seemed to accept it fine, but I feel that He felt sad. But he did not asked to go. I thought that is very sensible and brave of him..

And the next day before we left, I spoke to him as well, and while he seemed on the verge of crying, he did not, and did not ask to go. It was difficult leaving him like that, But i promised to skype him when I arrived. 

15 march: Leaving Singapore and Arriving in Beijing 

Rui and I took a tiring flight to Beijing. Thankfully, he slept through most of it, and was OK with the take off and the landing. Does not seem to affect his ears too much, as I let him suck on his pacifier.

I was able to bring on board the EBM I expressed, so I fed him that on board. I also latched him to feed as well as some forumla when he refused to latch sometimes.

All in all, Rui seems fine on the flight, and I am thankful that he is so cooperative and angelic. Minimal crying. The airline is definitely not what I will fly again, and flying alone is definitely a bit more challenging.

However, i must say if prep is done well, and timing is calculated properly to anticipate BB's needs, it an really be quite easy. My toughest was to carry the pram, bags and Rui - as I was always conscious that I am not supposed to carry anything heavier than Rui. For that, and the less than helpful crew, my wound pained a bit more
 than usual.. 

Anyways, so that ends the traumatic 3 days and I was exhilarated when we arrived. It was quite worth it when Rui smiles upon hearing auntie's voice. The 2 month old Rui is very good at recognising voices and differentiating who does what. That skill of his made it possible for me to latch him even though he is already close to 2 months back then. While he does not drink fully when latched, but i is really good enough to help stimulate the milk flow.

Some pics of Rui on flight and here.. and well, if anyone wants to know how I pack for both Rui and En to keep them peaceful on flight, let me know. I have the list ready - for travel again when we are all moving here.. sigh.. :)



Sunday, March 15, 2009

Surviving a stressful week..

It has been a stressful week.. 
or I should day a stressful midweek..
I am now in Beijing with Rui and Nanny... The confinement auntie is taking refuge as the Singapore customs "kicked" her out of Singapore.. 

I want to share this chronologically so as to better appreciate the chaos and madness of the week..

The week started off well enough.. My BM supply reached 120ml per pump and i have extra to store for my impending trip to BJ in late March... The freezer is full with 2 boxes of frozen BM for Rui while I am not around..

11 March - The "bad news" hit

It is time for Nanny to go JB and have her passport stamped. It is her second month in Singapore thus far, and she is staying for a third. Since I still have yet to find a maid to either add on or replace my current one..

Time: 11 am. 
When Ye ye and nanny returned.. She said the customs can only give her 2 days stay as she has maxed out her 60 days days in Singapore.. !!!! The customs person then only said that she could get her extension at ICA. I went online to check and I tot she would qualify for Visit pass - turn out that is only for immediate family members. 

Time: 2pm at ICA
So when I went ICA, turned out they explained the 60/90 days rule to me briefly. I never knew there is a 60 out of 90 days rule for Malaysian. That they can only stay a max of 60 days in SG within the 90 days period. 
So auntie has to get out of singapore and away for a mth before she is allowed back!!

I was horrified and petrified, literally. Initially I could not understand what happened, cuz when auntie was employed by our neighbor, she employed her for 3 mths.. Turn out their situation may have been a result of a loophole in the cmputer's reading of 90 days or 3 mths.. It took NJ's friend some time to explain to me.. 

So we need to figure out what to do.

Time: 2:30 pm - the brains starts panicking

So auntie has to leave. And auntie has to stay out for a month to be safe, as we cannot bluff the computer since its middle fo the month. Minimally we need to stay 2 weeks but we cannot take the chance that we go somewhere and return only to find out that auntie is still barred from entering SG. 

I need auntie's help still, or be faced with option of looking after 3 kids, pumping 7-8 times a day and managing all these with my mum and the rather incompetent current maid. Not to mention I am supposed to be resting since the surgical wound still hurts on and off esp on days when i exert myself by running to too many places or not sleep enuf sometimes..

3:30pm - Deciding that we should go China.

I thought I might as well bring auntie with me to China, and bring forward my trip instead. 

I was naive, a call to the agency reminded me that 
1. Auntie needs a visa to China
2. My trip cannot be changed without penalties
3. Auntie needs to get out of Sg by 12 March and the china visa's fastest processing time is 3 days in SG
4. NJ and yeye  reminded me that China embassy only allows for visa application to be made in the morning.. and that means auntie has to apply and have visa approved the next day and leave the next day

The barriers seem insurmountable. 

4pm - idea struck

I thought the easiest way for auntie to leave is to go back Malaysia and we make plans from there. So KL is a start as that is where the embassy is.

So, I called my tour agent to explore options of changing my dates earlier and to buy Rui's ticket. Turn out Ru's ticket is v expensive under the same promo and not worth it. Husband asked me to buy a one way ticket, ut that turned out to be expensive too.. we rationalised that the cheapest option is to abandon my current ticket and buy a fresh one for rui and me under another promo..

The I called my Malaysia office for help on a tour agent in KL that can help auntie process her China visa in KL. Turned out my colleague was a great help as he said that all Malaysians need visa to china, so over there, they have express option of visa within a day.

And he gave me the office's tour agent which is super efficient and reliable. Except that the airport tax of MAS to china is ridiculously expensive, so even though the ticket is cheap, the total cost is 70% of rui and my ticket cost!

I called the tour agency in Malaysia and they advised me that the express within the day is the only option in order for auntie to go China this weekend. Or else, even with a 2 day express option which is cheaper, the application does not take into account Sat and Sun.

Finally, I went online to book my ticket to accompany auntie to go KL to help her manage the purchase of air ticket and the visa stuff. 

I also had to book hotel since we are leaving right early morning the next day, and I decided to stay at Citatel n Mid Valley mall, which will allow us to shop for all the prep stuff needed for China, since Auntie leave for China on Friday night, and I leave on Sunday, while waiting for tour agent to contact us there for application and purchase of air ticket. 

i next called Bao en's nanny to help look after Rui for a day and night while I stay with auntie in KL to see her off to China before I come home.

6pm - all Set and ready for action!!

So in 2 hours.. the following is set.
1. We leave for KL early morning next day, 12 march (the dateline for Auntie to leave SG) on Air Asia and immediately pass Auntie's passport to agent for visa application.
2. We stay in KL to wait for visa approval so as to confirm the CHina ticket for auntie to leave on 13 march midnight.
3. Rui goes to En's nanny for 2 days 1 night while I was in KL,  and we have to prep his bag as well as he frozen BM to be used (thank god I started freezing them earlier)
4. I forfeit my ticket to BJ later in the month, with new ticket with Rui to leave for BJ on 15 March

Time: 7 - 12 am - Packing for Rui, and processing the booking of tickets, hotels etc etc...

Gee.. all these actions in the space of 1 afternoon, and I feel tired writing abut it..
The actions for the next 3 days to follow..

I just came to BJ with Rui today, tired but happy and proud that Rui did well on the flight and I did doubly well with all the prepping and packing.

But my wound has been hurting a bit more than usual and i had only 2 hrs of sleep each night with all the things to be done and the 3 hrly pumping.. 

So i stop here for now..  watch this space for more action!! :P
*I am superwoman or what.... *

 

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Tods and Babe

Sometimes I think 3 boys are too much for me..
The 2 tods are quite energy sapping, much as they are fun and lovely to be around.

They grow so fast sometimes I wish, I have the time/ energy to just blog their antics down, the conversations... the joys and pain on a day to day basis..

Xuan is sure learning very fast, and he called me Mummy already, albeit at the bribe of an apple.. sigh.. He knows everyone by their names, even di-di and ge-ge.. his fav is ye-ye who fetches him and En to school every morning. I observe that whoever controls the wheels wins the favor of the kids.. Hmm..

Xuan has also learnt to let go of his toys, and gives in to En. A really enormous feat. I sometimes think it is the backlash of the school.. since going to school he has learnt to let go of toys, so much so that when he is home now, he gives in to En no matter how unwilling he is, or regardless of whether he needs to give in or not. When En just mentions something is his, even though it is not the item that Xuan is holding, Xuan will put it down quickly and then run off to cry at what we call his "sobbing corner" - in front of the toy shelf. And after soothing himself this way, he will find some other toys to play. I am so amazed.. sadly En is still rather possessive of his toys, well I ll leave the boys to work that out between themselves..

Recently Xuan broke out in rashes, hives apparently though we could not put a handle on the trigger.. sigh, i wish they clear soon so he looks cute again and not awful..

En has been asking and talking a lot.. Nanny brought him to the bowling centre last Sunday and he really enjoyed it. These new experiences made him grow a lot i think.. and sometimes i really think he matures too fast for my liking, due to his sensitive nature..
Due to his fights with Xuan over "his" toys, he had been for a while saying "I do not like di-di" and that created a bit of a problem for me to work it out..
Slowly, by talking to him and listening to him more, these days he is no longer saying that anymore. And sometimes he will say "I like di-di" and hugs Xuan. I appreciate these moments, even though i sometimes think he is doing it to please the adults.

His insecurity comes through whenever he asks me "Do you love me, mummy?" so I know deep inside him the issue has not been resolved.

Xuan's flambouyant and carefree nature easily garners him lots of attention and positive affinity from grandparents and us.. naturally, without even trying. In face of that, En's more passive and sensitive demeanor usually get neglected without ill intent from the grandparents. And that feeds his inscurity at these times I think..

En is a kid who needs a lot of attention and time, he is so sensitive that most times, I am afraid that casual comments from grandparents or others affect him, even though sometimes it seems as if he does not understands but i observed that it always comes through to him as I will see some behavior that stems from the comments he overheard.

As for Rui, he is growing big and well.. and has cut down his milk at night from 3 or 4 feeds to 2 feeds, i am keeping fingers crossed that he keeps up the good wk!!

While his favorite pass time is still sleeping, we are seeing more of him awake these days as well.
And here are the pictures for you to see for yourself how he is doing :)

Wii Kids - backdated photos of the tods dancing away playing Wii















Wide awake and looking stern.. his usual expression..



















Check out his girlish eye lashes!!




















Blissfully in ZZzzzz Land- smiling in his sleep!!

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Nostalgia


The boys raced with each other in the beautiful setting sun.
The leaves rustled
The breeze blew..

Soon we will bid goodbye to this place, College Green.
And goodbye to my once cherished hopes and dreams of kids growing up amidst the lush greenery
Of husband and I enjoying our morning coffee out in the deck
Of grass massage for momo
These are all gone now with goodbye to college green.

I will miss the sounds of crickets in the evening.
The dripping sound of rain on the roof outside my bedroom window
I miss the smell of fallen leaves and windy breeze.
the sight of dappled sunlight on the old tall tree outside our house..

I will always remember this place, a place which i built our dreams and hopes for the future.
remembering it with fondness, sadness and much nostalgia.

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