My Baby Xuan Xuan..

Sometimes I feel I am immune to my kids..
After being with them day in day out, I kinda "see" them and yet sometimes don't "see" them.. If you get what I mean..

So recently, with all the CNY visitings, I am quite pleasantly surprised when various people mentioned how cute looking En and Xuan are, how alike they are, how long their lashes are, and how adorable Xuan is with his beautific smile..

Everyday when I see En and Xuan, I do not see their big eyes, nor long lashes, nor Xuan's dimples..
I see them fighting, eyes briming with tears, or laughing hilariously climbing on one an other's backs/ other body parts, I see them fighting over the same toy, yelling at each other.. Or sometimes, quietly.. talking about various things that happened in the day..

I have just kinda.. Stopped Seeing them.. their day to day experiences and behaviors have overshadowed their physical looks.

So for the past 3 days, I really looked at them.. still the same behaviors, same conversations, and also their faces..  their little fingers, their little bodies dancing, running, or lying next to me...

And I must say, it is all coming back to me now..
Once kids grow out of their 1 plus age, and become more independent, we kinda see their personality, their behaviors.. and sometimes we just forget to see all the little things about them,especially physically I guess.. Kinda always trying toi read their minds and expressions but forgetting the actual faces, the eyes, the eyebrows and all that make up their exquisite little frames..

And I realise, I am seeing Xuan Xuan in quite some new light..
He has a really beautiful smile, wide and carefree, with slight dimples making him very boyish looking..
His legs are filled with cuts/ bruises, evidence of his carelessness as he still stumbles or runs into things..
He laughs so easily, at every little thing or event that tickles him..
And he makes everyone laugh and smile with his singing or his dance moves..

And he is growing up everyday...
He is always such a little carefree boy in my eyes, but he surprises me with his moments of "logic"..

Always thinking that he is very easy going and not too fussy a boy, albeit with clear preferences such as his beloved Thomas or his white bear named "Bao Bear", he told me 2 days ago that..

"I do not like this sheep (on his bedsheet).. I like blue bedsheet.I do not like this one. (And we have had the bedsheet for like.. a long time...)"
As I lie next to him at night before he dozes off to sleep for the past week, he makes sure I have a bolster, like he has, and he will offer to bring me a red bear to cuddle, as he has his Bao Bear to hold and to hug.. But he refuses to let me have one of his 2 pacifiers! Still!

And one afternoon, I heard him say to our helper..
" I am coughing, I have to drink water you know, or I cannot go AckDonalds."

Ah.. my baby is growing up, but in my mind, I still see his big wide smile, easy going shakes or nodding of his head, and stumbling and struggling to do little tasks such as feeding himself and wearing his shoes...

Bao Xuan, you are always Mummy's little baby bear..
I love you... muak muak.

Picture Heart

One of the many joys of motherhood/ parenthood lies in the things that kids say, and today we come home to be introduced to a jingle performance and the term "Picure-heart".

The jingle performance by Yap Bao En and Lim Kai Pin, with 'Pots" as the Guest star..

"We will, we will
Kick your butt
Make you fart
All the way to PizzaHut.."




And En later told me that it was not PizzaHut, but Picture Heart.. (think he mis-construed, but that is besides the point..)

We asked him what does Picture Heart mean, he says

"It is something you give your papa and mummy when you love them."

And much later that night, again, he displayed his Picture Heart when I was lying with Xuan in the kids' room, accompanying En and Xuan to dreamland..

En: "Go to your room to sleep, Mummy"
Me: "Why, I want to sleep here.."
En: "Then Papa sleep alone?"
Me: "Yes, is that Ok?"
En: "Then he will not be scared?"
Me: silently going.."Orrr...真有爸爸的心, sigh.."

A New Year..

This year's new year seems remotely unfamiliar..
Mainly cuz I was in confinement last year and really have little recall of last year's new year.. except dressing the kids..

I vaguely recall the new year 2 years ago when I was in the full new year mode, decorating the house, the oranges, making DIY hampers that can beat the professional establishments'..

So in comparison, this new year seems quiet, and relatively less festive.. and I really have to struggle to get into the new year mode.. and trying really hard to recall how to address the aunties and uncles in the hainanese terms..

So while I did not manage to have any time, or any mood for that matter, to do up our hampers/ dress up the oranges.. I made sure we take photos as much as we can remember to amidst the usual chaos with 3 kids!

I sure hope everyone is having an enjoyable CNY thus far, in all your own little ways..

Here are some initial ones.. others to follow after copying them from others' cameras!