Adults and Kids

I love watching kids, AND their parents.
Because I feel that one can always see the similarities between the 2.

Just recently, Hubby remarked to me that he had figured out where his niece, Shin, "inherited" her questioning demeanor from - the wise and adult way with which she poses her question never fails to make us take her questions very seriously and compelled to give her the right answer. Hubby was saying that Shin must have internalised that stance from her mum as his recent trip to the market with Von had Von asking him numerous questions, which was highly reminiscent of the way Shin asked hers.

Last night Bing Bing celebrated his 2 yr old birthday. It was a small affair with 30+ relatives. Lots of cousins, and of course all of the kids were there. As I was playing MJ, I was "interrupted" by a conversation between 2 boys. One was trying to navigate his way in an apparently complex computer game & expressing immense frustration with the obstacles he was facing with the game. And I heard a calming voice beside him, talking him through the various ways that he could get on with the game.

At one point when the frustration was really intense, I heard the calm voice saying, "Can I help you with that?" and subsequently, when the player refused his help, he was still supportively trying to talk him through the game, with various attempts of "Will you like me to help you with that?". I looked up from my game to see who the boy was, and it was Jet, 8 yrs old, (and the player was an older boy). And I can't thinking how similar he is to his dad - I can just imagine his dad helping him the way he was trying to help the boy now.

And I was reaffirmed in my strong belief of the power of the sub-conscious minds.

Then there was Baby En crying, as usual, with the huge crowd. And again, we have to do the usual of distracting him, easing him in with the crowd slowly.

As usual, we heard lots of remarks of needing to socialise him with strangers etc etc. But the point was the bulk of the crowd were people living across the estate, people whom he had spent numerous weekends with. And En was no different when he was a baby. He was just a Spirited Baby with a touch of Touchiness in him. After reading Tracy Hogg's Baby Whisperer, I found that EN fits that profile completely. She advocated knowing who your kid is so that you can cope better with him, in accordance to what he needs.

So En has been a consistently Spirted and touchy baby from birth. And w have perfected the art of coping with him in such situations, albeit the really bad ones had been really trying.

So I believe En will grow out of that phase of being touchy around large crowds. And I wont compared him with other kids, cuz other kids may belong to the profile of Angel kids, Grumpy Kids, Textbook Baby which all require different ways of coping. And to me, En has a very strong character, which was what I always said I appreciated in a kid. So we just have to channel that energy into something else.

But it does get trying when one encounters people who do not understand, people who are apt to compare kids, people who try to judge and mould kids according to a certain benchmark. And seriously, I will have fitted into the profile of a Spirited mum, which is no surprise why En ended up that way. So I have learnt not to be defensive, but I will be around to make sure my kid does not get moulded into a certain mould to meet others' expectations.

In time, I am sure En will be ready to socialise. At present, he is just very selective about who he likes. So he does socialise very well with certain people, and he is learning to cope with the kid dynamics.

When he fought with Bing Bing over Bing Bing's new toy, and I asked him to return it to Bing Bing because it was Bing Bing's birthday - he promptly went to find Bing Bing to return the toy to him. For me, that is good enough. That was great!

At the end of the day, if En is really different, outta the norm, he is all the more special, dun you think? I, for one, will hate the conformity. I don't need a model baby, I just want my kids to be happy with who they are. And maximise whatever potential they have at that moment. That will be more important than having them follow the rules of the norm.