6 month milestone

Time flies..

Bao Rui was 6 months 2 weeks back.
It was an amazing 6 months.
The time just seemed to whizz by with endless rounds of tasks to do..

In this 6 months some things stayed poignantly the same...

Rui still has very fine, little hair, almost like a botak boy. His hair has not changed.
Rui's love for sleeping remains the same as he zzz from 7-5 ish and then dozing to 7 am again..
Rui still rubs his eyes when he is sleepy, lays his hand over his eyes as if to warn off those who dare to disturb his beauty sleep.

Rui's impish sparkling smile remains the same, always lighting up the day in the morning and then dwindling off into a stubborn frown that cannot be teased or coaxed away towards the end of the day..

While other minor changes have taken place too..

He is starting to enjoy eating, his lips always gnawing excitedly when he sees us eating

He is starting to grab at everything and putting everything he grabs into this mouth..

He has learnt to flip over and sit up, and these days trying to heave himself forwards..

He learnt to laugh out loud and squeal, and he did that the first time I place a stack of stacking cups in front of him, seeming to know those as his toys instinctively..

And he has 2 cute teeth on his lower jaw, always peering out cutely when he smiles..

And I have been breastfeeding him for 6 months plus.. while I keep telling myself I will soon stop.. It is a record for me to perservere for so long, but I keep telling myself that I am not working, I feel very guilty if I do not continue. After all, it is kinda a luxury to be able to stay home with the kids for this amount of time. Much as I sometimes doubt the "power" of breastmilk, I find it very hard to stop. 

As it took a lot of effort to build the milk volume to what it is now,  particularly in this case when I did not latch him for the initial 3 days when he was first born. it was a perpetual game of catch up and mindgame to will the milk to come. I really worked hard to arrive at what it is today, not to mention all the travel and the mastitis sagas disrupting the schedule.

But at the end of the day, it is immensely tiring esp when there are 3 kids in all. 

Pumpin takes up a lot of time. And I feel very tired all the time actually.

Many times I wonder if I am making use of this period of stay at home mum time optimally..

- Have I rested well?

- Have I spent enough quality time with all the kids? 

- Have i done something for myself - those long list of things that I been wanting to do..

There are a lot of questions, but the answer remains the same .. if I can breastfeed as long as it is good for Rui, why not? 

Coupled with the paranoia with the medical system here, I am really fearful of Rui falling ill, especially when the 2 brothers are now in school and hence more vulnerable to illnesses.

Still, at some point I will have to stop.. and kinda rest.. 

I dunno when it will be yet, but it has to be sometime soon..

While my mind and heart battle over when to stop, I am happy just to see Rui grow and smile!