Love - Your Archilles Heel is Temptation

This must be the 3rd time in a space of a short month or so that I have heard stories of betrayal.

Another friend broke up with her long time partner, as the guy knew a younger, prettier chick.
And my friends are of a mature age.. they are not young people experimenting with love.

So, I reckon betrayal happens across all ages, from when you are a teen and your puppy love idol dumps you for the next prettier chick, to when you are in your 30s, 40 when your partner or husband leaves you for another woman, to even when you are in your 60s when your old man leaves you for another younger chick.

The pattern seems the same, so much so that it is predictable.
Men just can't resist temptation, can they?
No wonder my mum used to tell me this: 男追女, 隔个山, 女追男, 隔成纱

And one of my male friends has the following analysis:
- the expectations that females have of males have evolved and changed across times. A guy used to only be successful to attract a gal, but now the guy needs to be successful + have looks + be sensitive +.. a lot of other things.. to nail the gal.

-But the expectation that males have of females does not seemed to have changed - just preferably a hot chick with a pretty face and a hot bod.

I rolled my eyes then, and summarised that we females, as a species, have gotten more superior, while the men as a species have remained un-evolved and stagnated.

In the context of love and betrayal, I think female also expect a man to be faithful - but apparently from all these recent stories, these men are just not equipped to remain faithful.
(of course another of my male lunch kakis who worships his wife like mad, will say I am generalising all men based on a small selective sample)

I mean, if females have higher expectations of males, and even the men are feeling this way, then the males may feel pressured and feel that he is not easily getting chicks and that he is inadequate.. and hence, the moment that temptation presents itself, males' ego become inflated..

The mentality that
"These days, it is harder to get chicks.. and yet all this/ these chicks are falling for me, or there is this opportunity for me to hook up with this chick who finds me acceptable and adequate, what a rare chance in times of difficulty". Hence, males then make the move to hook up with the gal, just to massage his pressured and stressed ego that it is not that difficult to hook up with gals, or "How good I am to be able to achieve what other men find difficult".. that is when betrayal sets in..

Betrayal is the men's cure/ solution to the pressure of females having higher expectations of him - if my male friend's hypothesis is correct.

Hence, I am inclined to think that man can only be faithful when the level of temptation does not exceed their threshold of tolerance. Beyond a certain point, yes there is a tipping point and that is when betrayal sets in. after all, how many man can seriously say no to numerous number of women. And the more sure the man is, that he will not stray, the more likelihood that he will one day fall beneath the skirts of another female (literally). Cuz his ego in his ability to fend off temptation is also his blind spot, that he often may not see when the devilish temptation has hit them.

Of course, you can argue that a man needs to be really lucky to have met that much temptation, and if he is so lucky to meet such numerous times of temptation, then he has to be an idiot not to succumb right?

Well, in some situations, i think some men are faced with more temptation than other men.
So if we think of this in the augmented extreme sense, maybe these poor men who have been exposed to temptation time and again, are the sorry victims. That it seemed written in their fate that they will fall...

So where does that bring us - those who are shackled to these men?
I am not so sure. I have an extreme theory - that we woman, should perhaps, behave like the men and stop putting love on a pedestal. And start decoupling love with sex.

Cuz, if we are able to do that, the next time our man sleeps around, we can shrug our shoulders and say, well, that is life. And we won't feel betrayed cuz we do not own the other being. Being in love is NOT equal to sleeping with another person. These are how some men who stray think.. I love my wife, but I also appreciate other women. But not many women can do that. But perhaps, we ought to start evolving that way.. as a coping mechanism. That way, there may be more equality in the way men and women look at love and treat a relationship.

Well, conceptually, I think that is a great coping mechanism, but it does not mean that I, will be able to do it. Perhaps we are too old to be evolved.

Last Sunday, or the week before, Sunday Times ran an article of men who leave their families here in SG for women overseas.. and these females hire female investigators to track and find their husbands. I was jokingly telling NJ's cousin.. If I were the woman, I will not hire the investigator, I will hire an assassin! :)

Stories of betrayal are sobering. And maybe especially now, when I am especially sensitive to it.
In my mind, I need to have a plan for the worst case scenario. That is how I cope in life, plan for the worst and pray for the best...

My problem is, I have no plan. And it vexes me no end. I felt like I am being held ransomed.
No, it is not just the preg hormones. It is a real situation in this world of real temptation.

That is why the world is so interesting.. no one will know what tomorrow will bring. And we are kinda hedging our bets as we go along.

ultimately, someone told me, we women, we have to be strong. That is the best insurance we can buy - a self protection mechanism.

It is in this world of flagrant temptation, where betrayal seems increasingly the norm than not, that ideal of true, wholesome love is so aspirational. I mean, if somehow there is a way in which everyone is given an guarantee that love will last forever, then love, as a notion in itself will not be so powerful and mythical anymore, will it?

爱- 美在于它的幻影
爱- 贵在于它的罕见
爱- 你的敌人是诱惑...