Watching the End of Little Nonya and thinking about True Love

This morning I was reading Blinkymummy's blog entry about True Love - how scientists have discovered what true love is - "couples who demonstrated the same mental 'love maps' to animals who mate for life, the likes of swans and grey foxes" (? - that is new to me).

The only question I have after going through the article is what leads to these "mental maps"? Are some people more capable than others or does it depend on meeting the right person? Like if we meet the right person, then we will have true love..???

Then tonight i spent 2 hours watching a disappointing ending to the Little Nonya .. and what struck me most of the entire 2 hour episode is the following advise Yueniang gave to her grand daughter on love and choice..

"The one whom you love may not treat you well.
The one who treats you right may not be the one you love.
However, happiness lies in your own hands ( or choices)..."

(the above is translated cuz my Chinese software [dunno why] dun wk, have to correct that when I go back to wk, that is if i remember the words by then still..)

So the message seems to be - you can choose to love or be loved. Either way, happiness is in your own hands, so there is no such thing as an "objective" true love?

Hm.. that is why sometimes, I think SOME relationships are full of passion. Some are full of ration-ale. Unless the passion is guaranteed like for the swans, to last a lifetime, then more often than not, the rational relationship (based on assessment of compatibility, one's expectations and needs in life etc) may have more chances of succeeding.

I have observed that not all people marry the person they love most.
They marry the most suitable person whom they meet at the "stage" or period of time when they are thinking of marriage.

Maybe this is a uniquely Singaporean mentality, that by a certain age, you marry, instead of, I meet this person and it is the person I will marry, no mater what age I am at (cuz other things like studies, NS, ability to afford a flat etc etc are considerations).

So more often than not, when a person starts work, can afford a HDB or something then they think of marrying the person they are with. However, sometimes, that person may not THE love of his/ her life..

Sad is it not, if it is the case?
Maybe pragmatic Singaporeans do not value passion a lot?

In the Little Nonya, the ending seems to depict Felicia Chin choosing the guy who loves her more/ treats her right..

Maybe it is always safer to love a person who loves you more.
However, the romantic in me also feel that to not have experience grand passion will be regrettable. Yet, one must have confidence that the passion is sustainable over time to allow the relationship to withstand changes in both parties, difficulties that emerge, life stage or priority changes ..

Will Passion be more apt to sustain a relationship through that, or will Rationale be more suitable to carry the relationship through?

I believe more men choose their spouse based on rationale. More females choose their spouse based on passion. and in that, do we have a fine balance or a mis-match of expectations? Hard to tell..

If one is not greatest love in the partner's life at that point of time, if the relationship sustains over time, can one then BECOME the passion/ greatest love for that partner?

I dunno.. I am just thinking..
And still thinking..
But definitely intriguing.
Do we ever analyse our motivations when dealing with matters in love?
Should we?
hmmm...