de-generated...

I feel sad.. because i think i am a bad mum...
because somehow, i think i am giving my kids to sub-standard care..
because i know i can do better for them but ve not done so..

En en started throwing things at everyone. and he threw his lego blocks at me today.
and he laughed. when i reprimanded him, he laughed more.
and then i had to moved him away from his toys to stop him from throwing things at me.

He does not listen much to me. and ppl that he listens to do not discipline him.
if anything, they encourage him to do the wrong stuff.. such as throwing things around, pick up his toys after him when i have trained him to pick up after himself, do things for him because it is easier and faster that way rather than giving him time to figure out for himself how it could be done and nurturing his sense of independence and patience..

all these are wrong. but the people are blind to it.
they think they are doing the right thing. by simply coddling him and suffocating him with love.

Bad love. 孽爱 is not love.
everyday is a struggle between right and wrong.
but all i see today are all the wrongs, so wrongs.

A kid does not understand circumstantial differences, just as a dog can't understand when biting is permissible and when biting is not. Hence, until the kid mastered the concept of circumstantial differences, certain acts cannot be condoned, encouraged or applauded. Such as throwing things at ppl versus throwing ball at ppl. Both, at this stage are not permissible.
Cuz to them - a ball = a toy.
I throw ball at ppl = i can throw my toys at ppl.
Win.

i am sick of excuses. and i am sick of closing one eye to mis-deeds.
i want to do what is best for the kid.
but everyone is against me by giving in to the easy way out.
no one said parenting is easy - so why are we so giving in to the easy way out?

we always rush to do things for our kids, jump in on them before they had a chance to learn and experiment or find out for themselves. We prevent much of their exploration because we are afraid of the harm that could befall on them.

So the child grows lazy and dependent. and years later we look back and ask why are our kids not creative, not independent not adventurous.

Because we forgot that we have killed their innate ability to explore and be creative from birth. we killed it with our over prudence, our impatience, our over protectiveness.

Xuan xuan is now 5 mths and can't even turn. why, because no one bothers to stimulate him in all the right ways.

... sometimes, i wish i do not have to work.
the man says I cannot always think I am right. but how can i deliberately blind myself to what is so clearly and obviously wrong?