First Loves...

Another common theme from both Spring Waltz the Korean drama, and Jay Chou's movie "Secret" has to do with the power of first love...

You know what they say about the one(s) that got away, that it leaves an indelible print in one's heart.

Recently, we just had a funny conversation with NJ's cousins about ex-loves too. About how such stories are better off buried sometimes. And Cousin is a tad upset with someone about someone's past..

But well, in my case, or our case, Hubby's first love is well known and publicised in his blog. When his first love got married, think he was devastated. Well, you have to check out his blog to decide for yourself, but I think my assessment is rather fair.

Jay Chou says in his recent interview that he will like to have a 轰轰烈烈的爱情.. and that echoes my thought some long time ago. The thing about such relationship is, the result is often painful. Sometimes, so painful that one cannot even think about it.

I wonder if it matters whether one is the first love or one is the last love.. or if one is neither of both.. If I cannot be the first, can I be the last? If I am the last, have I won in the game of love? If you are not my first, does it matter if you are the last?

I dunno.. but I think everyone is entitled to have that special space for a special someone, so long as we know how to keep that space "separate". Because, sometimes, it take a lot of courage to remember someone. And because there is this thing called Time, we can never win against the wheel of time. Time gave someone a special space in that time frame. Time also buried that someone across timeperiod.

I think as we mature we sometimes lose the courage to truly love as we want to.. some people choose to be safe. Some made a logical choice of their partner. Some just made do.

I think youth gave us the license to explore and experiment. It gave us the courage to try the road less taken, sometimes. And with youth, one can afford to make love the biggest and most important thing in one's live. And so, with youth, one often experienced the best love of one's time.

Sometimes, I miss that license. And I miss that courage.

Now that I have 2 boys, I just hope we bring them up well enough that they know what to do about their own feelings and not breaking too many hearts or have their hearts broken too many times.. cuz 10 years plus down the road, we just dunno what the world has become and how the rules of relationship and courtship have evolved...