En in a Boxz...

The number of En's toys have grown such that it has warranted getting a HUGE box to keep them all.. well, it also serve to train him in digging for his choice of toys and hopefully, keeping his own toys..!!

Yet, before we place all his toys in them, I simply cannot resist placing him IN the box - hahaha! Quite a Good fit ya?! hekhek.. 

i Miss Your Smiles...

Ode to En's Endearing Smiles
"Oh, Baby En, what has gotten you so down
And have you looking so glum now
Come, put us under your magic spell
With your toothy, enchanting smiles!!"

En has been one grumpy baby recently, as he tries to cope with the change of domestic helper in our household...

He shows his likes and dislikes obviously, and when he does not want to come home with papa from the nanny's place, we know something is very wrong..

We are quite hands on parents, even with the helper helping out with En, I will feed him his solid meals while hubby will bath him on weekends.. every night en and I will play hide and seek around the bedroom till he is ready to go to bed..

The helper is the one who can coax him to drink his milk and plays with him while we get ready for work in the morning.. and he really likes the previous helper over the new one...

Am keeping my fingers crossed that he will get along with the new helper soon.. I always think that baby and young kids need stability.. not that we should shelter them so much that they become weak in adapting to changes, but at their tender age, changes bring about much anxiety and insecurities that they may find difficult to cope with..

These days En is more often spotted with a grumpy face and I miss his spontaneous cherubic smiles so much!! He never fails to greet us with his smiles every day and I am really heartbroken that he looks so glum these day...

What Does A Birthday Mean?

Here's Baby En's Mug shot at 11 months plus..

Now that we are counting down to Baby En's First Year birthday, suddenly I find myself asking what does the word "birthday" means..

Well, according to

Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary:
birthday (noun) = the day that is exactly a year or the number of days after a person was born

Merriam-Webster provided 2 meaning:
1. the day of a person's birth
2. the anniversary of a birth

If a birthday only signifies the number of days that have passed, it seems so clinical and scientific, to me, it does not have any of the emtional values when we scream, party and toast to "Happy Birthday".. So really what does a birthday mean?

Merriam-Webster's second definition is a bit closer to what i have been thinking about..
To me, I dun think I am gonna celebrate Baby En's birthday per se, I see it as celebrating OUR First Anniversary, a year that we have spent together.. and the numerous memories and events that we have shared together.. the amount of time that we have spent together, and those are the stuff worth celebrating - The journey that we have travelled together for the past year is worth marking and celebrating..

So in about 20 days time, it will be our One year anniversary with Baby En, by the time he is 1 year old, it will be a celebration of the amount of precious memories acccumulated with Baby En in our lives.. and for this, I will look forward t0 celebrating many future anniversaries with Baby En as they signify the abundance of memories we have jointly shared together..

Many cheers to Baby En and us!!

Happily Married To be Better Parents!

" We often focus on (material) things and take people for granted, it should have been the other way round. We should focus on people and take (material) things for granted..."

"No one can gurantee you that a marriage can last, ... only you can provide the guarantee that your love will last..."

"(A couple) should hold hands while fighting, because they are fighting for their marriage, the issue that they are fighting about is not worth fighting for, but their marriage is what is worth fighting for.."

These words were delivered yesterday at my friend's church wedding by the Father and it stayed with me long after I walked out of the church..

I am the typical kooky Aquarius who believe in signs and serendipity. What others term co-incidences, to me, are all part of a macro-system of signs - signs left out there for us to discover and to unravel the meaning behind them..

Recently, I have been having some troubling thoughts on how do we, as parents, make a commitment to our children, that as a couple, we will be able to stay together for good and be good parents for them... Are we in a position to make such a promise to them? To do so, my hubby and I need to have the confidence and commitment that we will be together for keeps... a Daunting thought in this day and age where divorce rate is climbing, where being from single parent family is not necessarily a stigma or a secret .. and I was looking for a sign that will reassure me that things will be fine.. seriously..

With baby 2 on the way, in the worst case scenario, can I still be a good mum to the 2 boys if I end up a single mum? While I was grappling with such thoughts, what the Father said when I attended the Catholic wedding got my attention and seemed to be a sign pointing a way forwards...

What he said reminded me that we have to be a good partner to our spouse first before we can perform our role as parents to our children.. As Steve Biddulph alludes to in his book "The Secrets of Happy Parents", one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is to remain in love with our partner, we must love our spouse first before we can adequately love our kids..

Before we had En, hubby and I agree that kids would not be the only focus of our lives, that we will continue to keep our couple time sacred... however, along the way, sometimes the going can get just so TOUGH.. as I was just chatting with a friend with a 4 mth old baby, that it is so hard to just find time away from the baby and the energy to keep the romance alive in marriage..

Things get in the way...
- Work, work and more work..
- Resources (the money/ the capacity to look after the baby so you get adequate private time)
- Energy (after working & playing with the bb, the only thing you really want is to sleep or to veg out in front of the TV)
- Our role as a parent, and this insidious identity seems to take precedent over all other identities easily, which makes you forget that you are first your own person, and then your spouse's partner..

Now I am beginning to think that even the media seems to have gotten the message wrong.. with all the focus on family day, kids day and campaigns to have flex time or time off such that we can spend time with kids, well, before ALL that, we should find time to be a loving partner to our spouse FIRST!! And it is so easy to overlook or forget that...

Well... while what the Father said had not given me the complete solution to my musings, still, perhaps by remembering to keep the marriage alive, sizzling and sparkling, it will be a big step towards being better parents for Baby En and Baby 2... This I hope and seek..

Letter Without Stamp

Recently I experienced one of the most awkward heartfelt moments in my life.. I lost touch, literally lost the contact, of one of the most important persons in my life..

I have known Him for over 10 years, since I was in college.. subsequently we corresonded via letters when He moved back to his native country. (Email was outta qn as he was still trying to learn how to navigate the net and I love to read his funny drawings and handwritten letters anyway). He is one of the most important persons on my life, with one of the greatest impact on my life, aside from my parents, and i never realise this more acutely than when I am a parent and now a parent to be again.. I am who I am today, really because he had believed in me and was there through the difficult, rebellious college days when my parents really did not know how to handle me...

He is like my 3rd parent, and I saw this more starkly when I read Steve Biddulph's book on The Complete Secrets to Raising Happy Children.. In an age back then when we were brought up by parents who were not so into displays of affection, praise and time spent listening to the troubled minds, He was ahead of his time in all this modern age parenting psychology.. He dedicated his life to the kids he taught and his favorite cats.. and back in those days, when parents are apt to blame and scold the kid into decent behavior, his form of nurturing was a refreshing balm to our troubled souls..

And a very troubled soul I was at the age of 17/ 18.. it is that age of rebellion, it is that age where i am trying to find and understand a sense of self, and he was there to provide the right guidiance and assurance by believing that we are not beyond redemption..

He listened without judgement and censorship, and I felt free and safe to voice whatever i was thinking, things that would have appalled my parents could be communicated to Him for advice and opinions cuz He provided the assurance that His love for me will not lessen because of what i said or think.. He provided insights to the difficult choices we face by trusting that we will make the right choice for us, and by believing in us, He also made us believe in ourselves and cherish ourselves more..

Years after college, though our correspondence was infrequent, He is often in my thoughts:
- When I am happy, I said Thank you for making this possible
- When I am sad, I wish i have the strength and your strong belief in me to carry on, as I do not want to disappoint you..
- when I was getting married, I wish you have been here to witness this
- when I was having my first born, i so wanted to name our child after you...
- when I come across books of people who have made a difference, I wish to tell you again what what difference you have made in mine..

Now that I am a parent, many a times, I find myself thinking I want to be just like him for my kids.. and discovering that He had moved without any of my contacts knowing where He has moved to filled me with anxiety.. I hope it is not because age has caught up with him, I hope it is not cuz He has left us, but the thought of not knowing what happened was difficult to cope..

What i want to say to him is like a letter written but without stamp, i cant send this letter out, and this sense of helplesslness is akeen to a huge loss.. a loss that does not have a closure because of the unknown.. I hope one day I will be able to fix a stamp for my letter to Him.. and I hope that day does not come too late..

Grey's Anatomy - Be Touched

As my fren Bak Chew wrote it in her blog before, Grey's Anatomy is simply great! I have been a follower since the first season, and am avid fan.. Usually i dun like the hospital shows, ala ER kind, as i can't stomache the bloody & gory scenes.. Even now, there are numerous times that i watch Grey's Anatomy between my fingers.. but this i endure as I love the meaningful plots and musings, i love the witty conversation, the sound tracks are divine and the cast are solid, WHAT IS NOT TO LOVE!!!

However, last night's episode, Damage Case, for the first time, had me crying.. Maybe its the pregnancy hormones, but I am finding it much harder to stomache scenes of premature babies.. last night's episode showed a pregnant mum who had all her insides all messed up in a car crash, and while all the brilliant docs were trying to re-arrange her insides, and baby remained alive in her. ..

Well, I learnt a fact, (i hope it's a fact), that a baby can stay alive for max of 5 mins in the womb after the mum has died... and yes, the mum did not pull through the mega surgery but her baby survived, thanks to intern Alex.

When I saw the tiny baby placed in the incubator, somehow tears just started to flow.. from a mum or mum-to-be-again perspective, such scenes are heart wrenching. And I really love Grey's Anatomy for depicting these and the varied human emotions starkly... these greater issues of love, hate, forgiveness are all augmented in these episodes...

And the image of the dad's hand caressing the baby through a tiny opening in incubator really got to me.. and that tiny hand.. everything about a baby is so TINY. And yet, everything that they inspire in us are so GREAT- the great awe, the great love, the great wonders, of course, at times maybe, even the great pain... For such a Tiny bundle, babies do bring some Great joy..

In 3 more months I am due to savor the arrival of a baby.. I must savor it - the great, the good, and even the baddest, for it may really well be my last chance to feel first hand THE moment..

En's Outings (I)

With boys, it is sometimes quite hard to stay cooped up at home. Esp. these days when En moves around so much and is often up to mischief with dangerous stuff, no matter how hard we try and hide the wires, block the fan. shut the doors to the cupboards..

If he is not trying to test the limits of danger, he will be hiding his balls and building blocks underneath the sofa and cupboard, and in my current preggie state, it is too much effort to keep hunting for these treasures, no matter how much he likes the game..

Well, I always believe that novel experiences augment the brain - something like an extreme stimulation to the brain perhaps, well ..so on fine weathered days, we have brought him to the beach and to the gardens.. I thought he will be excited with Sentosa, given he always can't seem to get enough of playing with water during his bath-time..

Much to our surprise, En was not excited at all by the beach.. he seems to find the sand dirty and was hesitant to lay his hands on the sand.. well, i suppose i should be thankful that for once, he was not putting everything that he touched into his mouth.. but more surprising was his seeming fear for the sea water.. we tried to place him by the edge of the water and he was not impressed at all. So much for novel and stimulating experiences...

Still, I am not giving up.. I am of the view that the outdoors do babies a lot of good.. well, when En starts going to school, he will spend half of the day cooped up in classroom, when he progresses to work, he will spend 3/4 of his time cooped up in the office jungle (unless he really chooses the alternative career such as tram driver in the zoo? etc). He will never be the kampong boy for sure, but he should see more of this world beyond his cot and playpen in our tiny flat... and this I will try to make happen..

Chasing Cars

Well, the theme of CAR seems to be quite salient in our lives recently...

Baby En has his brand new toy car that he whizzes around in, though our tiny flat probably did not offer much room for any Fast and Furious driving..

We are struggling with limited space in our car when we have our parents on outings with us.. and I wonder how we can cope when Baby 2 arrives (BTW, he is called Baby 2/ X cuz his parents cannot make up our minds about the name, and he is very likely to remain Baby 2 till birth at this rate haha!)

Then there is this song that refuses to go out of my head - Chasing Cars... The song and its meaning resonate quite well at the moment..

"We 'll do it all, everything, on our own
We don't need anything, or anyone
If i lay here, If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world...

Forget what you're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden
That's bursting into Life

Let's waste time chasing cars
Around our heads..."

At the moment, I am quite contented to just be where I am, and enjoy the daily simple joys of live, living and let live.. no targets to chase, no ladders to climb, no battles to fight...

Just relish and savour what we have at the moment.. and i am trying to forget the numerous insinuous "rules" we live by daily... and Enjoy the satisfaction and joy yielded from little things such as finding that violin album i have been looking for, finding that book which I am dying to lay my hands on.. sometimes we just need to break free from the routine and whatever we have been feverishly chasing.. and take stock of what we have instead, and in a way I am glad that having babies has allowed me to do that... kinda forced me to slow down if you look at it..

So there are the babies - Baby en and Baby 2/X - both growing fine and well.. en seems to be contented just to just crawl around and trying to stand - we are now waiting to see when he will take his first baby steps.. well, it does seem a bit ironic that he is driving even before he has learnt to walk!!!

Every night when I see him in his cot, i cant help thinking how fast time has flown and what a sturdy boy he is growing into, and right before our eyes.. and while I will be so glad to complete my child bearing national "replacement" duties before i turn 30, i just have this niggling feeling that somewhere down the road, i will begin to miss these moments now which is passing by so fast!! Carp Diem Carp Diem indeed! and perhaps it really wont be very long before i will be preoccupied, instead, with chasing Baby en....

Jay Chou and Boyz

As the hardcore Jay Chou fan, I am now listening to his latest album "Still Fantasy" and it made me think quite a bit about Jay Chou and raising Boys...

I have always been a Jay Chou fan, as a girl, I appreciate his musical talents and love his "bo-chap" attitude.. in the past albums, the references to his mum and some of his socio-polictical stance also made me feel that he is more than your run of the mill usual pop idol..

And contrary to his rebel, bad boy, bo chap image, i feel his songs demonstrated depths of emotions and thoughts (well, Ok not all lyrics are written by him, but his faithful partner Fang Wen Shan), still for someone to identify that talent in words must mean something..

In this album, that is a song 听妈妈的话 (Listen to Mum) written by him (listen to that on En's JukeBox!), with themes of protecting mum and not hurting her... which led me to think that just cuz a boy looks rebellious, it may not mean he is not capable of a close releationship with his mum..

If my boys turn to punk and rock, walks around recalcitrant with a bad boy attitude - should i be worried? Not necessarily - I am thinking.. true, they may not be the meterosexual or the expressive mummy's boys, that does not mean their emotional links to me may be any less right?.. in fact, when i look at Jay chou and the subtle ways in which he has expressed how much his mum meant to him and how aware he is of a mum's love and sacrifice for their children, I am impressed with the depths and subtlety of the emotions..

Often, still water runs deep, this must be what it means.. for boys and men, having a strong character and attitude are important.. being able to stand firm on issues and matters are quintessential.. and of course there is the idealistic vision of the male as the protector of females (oooh, the feminists are gonna kill me, but..) yeah! it will be great to know that my boys cherish and are protective of me..

As a gal - I absolutely adore Jay Chou, and now as a mum, I appreciate the understated and subtle glimpses of his relationship with his mum...

Sometimes we hope our children turn out to be of the usual mould with the usual traits - happy, expressive, contented etc etc.. well, from Jay Chou, I am beginning to think it is important that we have faith in our kids, no matter whether they fall out of the "angelic kid" mould or not..because ultimately love comes in all forms , even in bad boys with a rebel attitude...

Raising Boyz...

I grew up in a household where the ratio of females: males is 3:1. I am the daddy's gal and my dad is a gentle man, stubbborn as a mule sometimes, and has all the absent minded traits of a male at times... which sometimes aggravates my mum and us no end, still he is one good man.

So when i hear that my second kid is gonna be a boy - i am not sure how i can cope.. now i am thinking of raising a few GOOD men.. howz.. The ratio in our family will now be 3 males: 1 lone female (ala me and not counting momo..)! Hubby and I were hoping for a gal to complete the family.. And not withstanding that, we now have to now crack our brains to find a nice name that goes with Yap Bao - X (all contributions welcomed), having a second boy is really giving me quite a bit of jitters..

I went to buy a book "Raising Boys" to try and understand what it takes to parent 2 boys.. what are boys' needs and what kind of childhood will help mould them into gentle, responsible and charismatic men? Hubby is an only child, so a household of 2 boys will be a novelty to him too..

Well, it seems like having an important role model in form of a dad is critical from 6 yrs onwards, and having a community/ mini society that will nuture him into living with others, will help from age 14 onwards.. well the book cites anthropological references to age old tribes who understood this concept betta than us modern man - SO that's why there were those rite of passage for boys to move into manhood, and they are mentored by tribes elders (as opposed to parents).. sor des....

well.. the good side of this is I will always be the QUEEN and Princess in the family, by virtue of my gender.. i shall teach the boyz to pamper me (that is before they start pampering their girlfrens) and i figured i should never have to carry the grocery bags, fix the lightbulb and do any of those elephant tasks with 3 men around the house.. hmmmm... sounds nice doesn't it.. :) I wish!

Cookie Moster

En is really quite an eater.. he prefers his meals to milk, and solid to liquids..

We started him on cookies just recently, quite late in fact since the labels on most biscuits for babies state that they are for babies of 7 months or later..

He relishes his cookies though most of the time, he seems to be trying to understand the concept of eating and swallowing.. it can be quite heart stopping to watch him navigate the cookie in his mouth, hoping fervently that he will swallow the moistened cookie easily..

Yet, these little moments are a joy to watch and celebrate - a celebration of how far he has come from just a liquid guzzling baby to one who is chewing now.. Oh my cookie monster.. how i adore thee!!! i can't wait to feed you tiny bits of your first birthday cake -what an achievement that will be!

Busy Baby En

It's been some time since the last blog.. En has been pretty busy within this short span.. Let's see..

>> There's the prelims for the Pretty Baby contest, well, En did not get into the next round, but to us, he did V well.. Not only did he not cry on stage, he even managed a weak smile.. BIG Phew for Dad who had to bring him on stage.. BIG thanks to all the supporters who were there too..

>>En started to crawl proper, so he has been everywhere horizontally around the house lately...

>> En also started to stand and climb, so he has been everywhere vertically as well, up the sofa, edge of his crib, standing by his playpen...

>> and just yesterday, Grandparents bought him his first Rolls Royce of a car.. went to a Little Tikes warehouse to get a XYZ model of a travelling machine.. well, I was trying to source for a second hand one.. but En's Grandparents were of the view that the car could be shared with En's baby brother..so there... well, a $175 bucks car that has to be one of the grandest indulgence to date! These same set of grandparents didn't even spend those kind of obscene money on toys for me as my parents when i was an only child for 4 yrs ok... gee...

But it has been a fulfilling time with him now as he babbles, plays and entertains.. definitely quite the cutie pie I was hoping for.. :)

The Sulky Head Shaker

When baby En is in a funny mood, he really is quite funny..

These days, he just leant how to shake his head, and he does it for all occassions..
this clip was taken in a Japanese restaurant - we felt like having authentic Yakitori, and brought baby En there too, keeping our fingers crossed all the way that he would behave!

Well, not only did he behaved quite decently well, he amused the hell out of the patrons and waitresses!!

A Castle in Our Hearts

My Hubby and I are travel-addicts, we take joy in long endless holidays roaming the streets and learning the transport systems of the foreign countries..

So while we recognise that some of these long travels will be compromised with the arrival of Baby En, we did not feel that it will be too much of an impact - or at least i thought as we will still be able to travel on our own, and leave bb in the very good hands of his nanny and Juliet, our helper. But perhaps, we will not travel as long as we used to, 3 weeks to a mth of holiday is a long time to be away from baby!

So when En was at the tail end of his major illness, we were due to leave for a well deserved break in Bangkok.. after all i am really suffering from withdrawal symptoms from being grounded - literally - since birth of En.

So in addition to the madness of last minute packing, we had to make long list of phone no., instructions for Baby En, when we used to only make LONG list of instructiosn for Momo, our corgi..

While the flight was taking off, bizarre thoughts ran thru my head - i ve been stalling on my CPF nomination for the longest time, what was my arrangment for the insurance and stufff again.. if anything were to happen to me.. have i left adequate instructions for the care of En?

I never had such worries before.. and it was dis-concerting.. En's godma used to tell me how she missed her kids when travelling and how the sight of kids on the travel reminded her of her own kids.. now we know how that feels..

When hubby & i saw a blind lady holding on to a sick baby - with a cloth spread over the kid's forehead as if the kid was having a fever, we felt the pain that the mum must feel and remembered how we felt when En was seriously sick.. it was a cold, wet night in Bangkok and the vibes of despair, helplessness coming from this woman tore at our hearts, so much so that my hubby went forward to give her some money - and she seemed genuinely surprised cuz she was not begging for money, she and the sickly baby was seeking shelter from the rain? or were they not able to return homes..

at that moment i realise parenthood is universal, it transcends nationality, class differences and all the other parameters that divide us human.. and i did not know when En has held such an important place in our hearts, i always maintain that we should not cling on to our kids nor should our life revolve all around our kids.. kids are an extension of our lives, but not ALL or the ONLY of our lives.. yet at some point in time, between En's birth and his major illness, this little baby of ours has wormed his way into our hearts and has built a stronghold there...
It leaves a warm glow in me, but yet at the same time.. i feel so strange.. this feeling seems so foreign to me... will i get over it? More to explore and discover I suppose..it's a long journey ahead..

Temperature control!!

By the time En was 8 months, we thought we have pretty much mastered most of the essential skills to deal with a baby - bathing, feeding, diaperng, etc etc.. Imagine the shock we had when En fell seriously ill 3 weeks ago.. it started innocently enough with a swim and some tantrums which we mistook for his fatigue...

But when his temperature shot to 39 degree, he got our full attention.. we found ourselves obsessed with measuring his temperature every other minute, both to reassure ourselves that we had his temperature under control as well as to make sure we did not mis-read the numbers shown..

When en started to lose his appetite, and the fever not going down despite the medicine he took, we were seriously worried.. and whenever the number hits 39, it's red alert and we would start sponging him every opportunity we got..

The poor baby could not really sleep nor eat and we followed him in that as well.. doc said it was viral fever and would take time to go away..and true enuf, he went on to develop cough and running nose.. guess it had to get worst before it got any better.. and he even managed to pass the potent virus to us.. while we still had to spend every night monitoring his temperaure.. and sleep seemed a hazardous activity as we feared his temperature shooting up suddenly esp. in the middle of the night or the wee hours of the morning..

This was by far En's most serious illness to date.. he had always been quite a sturdy baby.. and seeing him so sick was heart-aching and really took a toll on us and the helper..

Still thru it all, i felt it has bonded us closer to the baby.. and it made me realise how close the baby is to our hearts - more than i thought possible, but more on that next time..

Tools of Survival

Although we En has only been with us for 8 months, we now have in our "Xiao Ding Dang"'s Bag a variety of Must Have tools for parental survival.. and here is the count down to the top 5 Must Have List:

1. A trusty Thermometer: every sensible parent must have a reliable and snappy quick thermometer. When En was a few weeks old, dad went to buy one which seems to work well, until 3 weeks ago... when En had viral fever and our lives are consumed with temperature taking.. You will want a thermomter that is fast and accurate in such situations, cuz you will not want to grapple with a baby that is wailing away while trying to determine if the temperature is under control or not

2. Baby Monitor: A life saver for any parent that values his/ her sanity.. In the first few weeks when En was born, we kept creeping into his room to see if he has awaken, if he slept properly (given the horrors we read of SIDS - sudden infant death syndrome), but we also end up waking the baby sometimes with our opening and closing of door.. and it gave us no rest with going in and out of his room every 15 mins.. When we got the baby monitor, life became a bliss - as it picks up every little sound that baby makes -so for peace of mind - get a baby monitor!

3. A power "Distractor" - This is one that needs plenty of trial and error to get it right i suppose - and for us, it was a funny rattle that produce a weird "ee-oh" sound when shaken (left), one that we co-incidentally found from my hubby's old cache of toys - En is just fascinated with the sound and whenever he cries, that cheap rattle (only $1.50 found in Kiddy Palace) never fails to distract him from his crying.. so agai, for peace of mind from the incessant wailing - find a powerful distractor..

4. Snap fast Camera cum video cum sound recorder: When En was about 2 months yrs we decided to ditch our old camera for a new one that enables us to take video and sound recording.. you won't want to lose any moment and for a while, I was camera crazy - so long as En is around, I felt compelled to have a camera nearby.. Babies grow too fast - it's a fact and they change so fast too and when I compare pics of En within 2 weeks of him - he looks so different! and you will want to capture those motions and sounds as well - so to keep the memories alive - camera is a must!

5. Baby Blues Comics: For a comic twist on potentially agonising and distressing moments from parenting - reading these comics is a must - hubby and I are addicted to it now - you can find this in Straits Times Life, or get the series of comic books.. while it makes one scream with hilarious laughter, there are practical tips that really helps to destress and cope with the occasional pains of parenthood. A must have to preserve emotional and mental helath for parents!

Fatherly Bond

Now that En is coming to 8 months. it is inevitable that he will have preferences.. but he demonstrates it mostly clearly in his choice of THE Favorite Person..

En is strongly attached to his dad, he smiles readily when he sees his dad, he whines and pretends to cry when dad walks away..

Perhaps it is written in the stars, after all Cancer is one of Scorpion's soul mate, so what can an Aquarius like me do?

Considering that Daddy is the one who could calm him down when En was in his colicky tantrums, daddy was equally involved in feeding, diapering and bathing him, and daddy is the one who brings him to and fro the sitter's place daily, well, daddy does deserve the rewards of En's spontaneous response..

So long as one of us parents can manage the baby, i suppose i shall not be too overly concerned? Then again, if you are looking for a classic case of role reversal, that is definitely us... hehee. 

A Trip to Mcdonald's...

When En was a baby of a few months, we brought him once to McDonald's where he spent most of the time in his baby sleep..quite blissful..

Now that he is 7 mths, we ventured another trip to McDonalds' and its much more of an adventure for him..

First he sat in the baby sit, and he was fascinated with the surroundings and the kids runnning around the place.. that kept him busy for quite some time..

Then we provided him with some stuff to keep him (or rather his hands busy), and it all went pretty well.. we were able to carry on with our adult conversation and the food, while he was kept entertained by the novel environement... Definitely a potential McDonald's kid in the making!!

But what impressed me more was the fact that we should have more faith in him that he would behave decently when we bring him out to dining places.. my previous encounters of seeing wailing kids had always made me rather wary of bringing kids out - 1. I am worried that we won't be able to control him and 2. that will be such an embarassment on us as bad parents and disrupting the peace of the other diners, and finally, my worry that it will be a futile effort where parents struggle with the kid and will not be able to have our meal in peace as well.

Well, perhaps i should have more faith in En, or faith in myself that things will work itself out.. perhaps En is now at a stage where he is still softly babbling and his cognitive skills has not brought him to the stage of "tantrums as a means to manipulate your parents" yet... Until then, I shall try to bring him out more often and socialise him to the correct behavior at dining places..

then again, if younext see me with a wailing En in a restaurant, pls pardon me for disturbing your peace, I am only a parent trying to lead a normal life - with baby En.. well, I can'talways eat at home yah! :) 

Prints of Our Lives

Guilty... It has been ages since I last blogged.. esp. since I have already decided on the topic for this blog - the long gone Mothers' Day!

Well, It's my first as a Mum.. for a start - a card in my fav lime green cheers me immensely.. and with Baby en's tiny hand prints in them? Priceless...

Of course I am sure all these festives stuff come from a generic account call "En's Debt", where we as parents charge to this account stuff like the uoming Fathers' Day gift, urm, birthdays gifts for mum and dad, urm.. x'mas gift.. etc etc.. when he comes of age to clear the debts, oh dear,i can't imagine what the amount will be.. indebted to his parents En will be.. hmm.. (I have not even decided which bank's interest rate should be the benchmark - foreign banks seem to offer attractive rates hmm)..

Then again, arn't we all born indebted to our parents? Money or not? the above is just one manifestation of the debt - albeit more tangibly..

Still.. the card is indeed lovely, and i am as much indebted to baby en as he may be to us as parents.. without En, i probably will not have experienced the little precious moments of motherly pride...

I am sure there are different facets of motherhood enjoyment/ torment, so for now, carp diem! But I shall always remember this First Mother's day with fondness... as we grow older - there isn't many opportunities when we can still claim our "first xxx", so this first Mother's day must count for something! 

En @ 6 months...

It is a amazing how time flies, and En has already reached the 6 months mark..

In another 6 mths time, En will be blowing his first candle, that is something quite exciting to look forward to indeed!

Manym parents advised that kids become easier once they are past the 6 mths mark, and I fidn that quite true, in fact, after 4 mths, when the reflux has become much better (no more merlioning after evvery feed) and learing to sleep for longer periods, things do stablise somewhat..

And what makes a huge diff between a post 4 or 6 mths and the inital 3 mths is En's ability to respond, well it is so much more enjoyable playing and talking to a responsive baby than one who just seems quite stoic most of the time.. To more good times with baby En!