The Ideal Age Gap

Someone asked my view on the idea age gap between kids now that I have 2.

I dun really have an answer, although I feel that the age gap of 15 mths between En and Xuan is as good as it gets. Though I must qualify that once we get used to the ease of having En when he was 1 year, if I was not already pregnant with Xuan, it will really take a lot of courage to get back into the grind of babyhood again...

And according to Gina Ford, there are distinct advantages + dis-advantages of having kids close to each other, but her most compelling reason, which I never really thought of, was that with 2 kids aged 10-15 mths apart, one can get out of the baby-parenthood in only 3 years, and get back to a wider range of social activities and holidays!! So, there won't be any more night feeds/ waking up in the middle of the night, no need to lug loads of baby stuff whenever we go out, no special baby food to prepare etc etc. And the prospects of being more free in only 3 years is just great! I just kinda need to be chained to the current lifestyle for 3 years!

Of course, the greatest challenge is the the tough hectic life with 2 babies, endless rounds of diapering, feeding, playing etc, but my point is since it will be tough with one kid anyway, having another baby around won't add much of an incremental load, at least the way I look at it. Especially if one already has the logistics worked out, such as having a helper, or a mum/ MIL to help out. The "system" can be maximised with 2 kids.

I find that having 2 babies close together have the following perks:

1. High recycling value of all the baby stuff (and think - f you house needs to be "baby-fied", it will only be about 3 yrs before you can change it around)
2. Recent knowledge of how to handle and feed baby, no need to re-learn everything
3. Almost no sibling rivalry (sibling rivalry supposedly hit worst with the age gap of 18mths - 3 yrs)
4. Common activities catered for kids - reading to both, flash cards activity for both, the same kind of music and TV programs

Of course, the downside is fatigue, fatigue and more fatigue. But with even only En, we are just as tired anyway, so I don't find Xuan much of an additional burden. In fact, I find it much more efficient this time round when we have him.

So if you asked me, yes, a shorter age gap is quite ideal. Although if you ask me some time back, I will be full of apprehension. This is hingsight speaking lah! haha!

That is the thing about parenthood. It is about unchartered territory, which one really has to just do it!!! No one has the right answer for everyone, that is the thing about parenthood!