Why Have Kids?

Was reading Blinkymummy's recent posts on parenthood, which fired my reflection process on why I/ we have kids... especially when I agree with her point that it is not everyone's innate right to have kids.

Is it my will?
Or did I just go with the flow - ala that is what most married people do anyway?

And I am surrounded by numerous friends who do not want kids.
One person said she is afraid to bring kids to this world because our world is becoming a worst place to stay. Why bring them in to let them suffer a worst fate than us?

Many feel that they are not ready for parenthood.

And I also heard from a close friend who thinks that having kid is a manifestation of how good a wife you are, something that falls under a Good wife portfolio, whether you like it or not.

I love kids, and Hubby loves kids.
Having our kids as part of our married live always seem like a natural thing to do. We did not discuss whether we will be good parents, although I already think that he will be a very good father. Not that sure about myself then and now, but I know I will have MANY adjustments to make with kids around.

So we just kinda went along to have kids. That is, until the mis-carriage occurred.

I think that is the turning point, cuz with the loss, then I became very sure that I want kids.

Kids are one of those "things" (for a lack of better noun), which one won't miss if one does not have it, but once one has committed to having kids, one can never imagine a life without kids. The wonder and joy they bring are not something that the non-kids people can understand. The dynamics that one goes through with kids bring a lot of growth and enrichment to one's life.

I agree with Blinkymummy that some people are just not cut out for parenthood, but I also believe in the will and power to change, and that parenthood is a choice. Once one has made that choice, one also makes a lot of other choices which complement the advent of parenthood. Urm - kinda like if you do not have a kid, then perhaps divorce or walking out is one's personal choice.

But once one has made a choice to have kids, then one has also kinda made the complementing choice that divorce is not one's personal choice anymore. Subtle choices and changes like these.. these are what parents/ parents to be have to be conscious of. I am not saying one then has to be stuck with a louse of a husband if events turn out that way, but that when we become parents, we take on additional commitment and responsibility. We have to recognise that and work that in our lives accordingly.

Still the reason to have kids is still unknown. In an abstract way, it could be a stage development thing for the relationship, kinda the result of relationship evolving. sigh, it is a tough question to answer indeed...