The Question of Time

Someone asked me the question of where I find time to do yoga and watch movie.. now with 2 kids in tow..

I don't have time
I am sleep deprived!
And Hey, it all rhymes, hahaha!

Seriously, it is a matter of prioritisation and learning to let go. It is also about self preservation.

I abide by the principle that I must look after myself well in order to look after babies well.

So yoga helps me relieve stress and rejuvenate myself. It is now critical to my sense of well being. So time out for that is essential, especially when I want to just breathe on my own..

Was just watching Supernanny on Arts Central - and from past series, one thing I observed was that parents who are stressed out damaged their kids the most - they end up screaming, losing control of situations and impose their frustrations on their kids. When that happens, they screw up their kids. Really.

This mum in today's episode is clearly stressed out - she has 3 boys, all energetic and more than a handful. In Europe, no such thing as maid, so can you imagine trying to juggle housework, kids and the mess left behind by the kids.

It seems like a suicide mission to me. And no wonder the mum ended up verbally abusive and emotionally harsh to her kids.

So by making sure we take care of ourselves emotionally and physically well, I think, we will be better parents for our kids by being in control of ourselves, our emotions and the situations.

I also believe in quality time with kids. Ever witness kids who were trying to get parents' attention, while the parent may be physically with the kids, but emotionally or mentally they are elsewhere, such as chatting with friends, SMS-ing, emailing, or reading papers etc? In such situation, while one is with kid, the time spent with kid is still zero, as they have not engaged the kid.

So while i cop time out for myself, when I am with En or Xuan, for that period of time, I make sure I am really with them. Either talking to them, reading with them, playing their toys with them, or anything that they want me to do. Even when En is waching VCD while I am with him, we will hold hands while I sing along with the program, or swing him up and down according to the show.

So I dun do the Maths on time. I do the quality on time. And I make sure I do spend time with them.. and hence, no guilt whatsoever when i sneak time out to do my own reading, or spacing out or activities I enjoy. Because in my absence, I know that someone else is spending their quality time with my babies. And that is good enough for me.

It is always a choice, how comfortable and how confident you are to let go, and have some breathing space for yourself. And I think, for long term survival and sanity, the answer is clear :)